Reflective-theshocker69

 

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

One of the largest lessons that I have taken away from college composition is that writing is a recursive, never-ending mission. Good writing is never finished. Last year in comp, I learned a great deal about proofreading. But yet, this semester I have learned more about changing my work than ever before. Every assignment this semester has been thoughtfully proofread and edited. At the beginning of the semester, I struggled with revision, but we learned more tools to aid us in our revision towards the end of the semester which helped me greatly.

Not only are recursive stages of revision dire for great writing, but recursive discovery for the topic you are writing about is just as important. Without a broad knowledge of what you will be writing about, your writing will not be great. I was sure to create a legitimate interest in topics discoursed during class to make better writing. Informative writing creates curiosity within the reader, that is only possible when the writer is educated on their subject of discourse.

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities.

By sorting all of our composition work into an online blog, a large platform that allows for a large community for discourse amongst various topics has been created. In my writing I was allowed discourse between my professor and I in order to improve my writing, as well as discourse amongst my fellow anonymous students. By receiving anonymous discourse from other students in my class, I am able to analyze a diverse view separate from my own that has helped tremendously in preparation for my research paper. And by forcing anonymity, this creates a bias barrier that encourages honest, although sometimes brutal, criticism that acts as a motivator towards the student to improve their writing in their recursive stages.

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

In my writing, I provided readers of the blog with unbiased and accurate information. Nowadays, it is challenging to find unbiased information. In response, I made a mission to supply that to the readers of the blog. In doing this, I was sure to search for observational data as opposed to subjective analysis. Subjective information is unreliable and strays from the work I am attempting to provide. By rhetorically analyzing the purpose, audience, and contents of my writing, I was able to provide accurate information effectively to the readers of the website.

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

Without a premise, a conclusion has no meaning. Illustrations and evidence are of dire importance to support the writer’s ideas and deductions. As stated before, I wanted to deliver unbiased, accurate information to the readers. Therefore, I limited my sources to unbiased electronic web pages and documentaries in order to receive the most precise information as possible. I was sure to evaluate each website before it’s use to be sure that it’s facts and data were accurate and true, and that each website lacked subjective observation as to avoid such data to achieve my composition goal.

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation.

“My worthy opponent is wrong.” This quote told to us in class sticks out in my head with every argumentative paper I right. In class I learned the importance to be civil in our arguments, and to respect our opponent, but to crush them in our knowledge and compositional skills. My work demonstrates this by showing that general knowledge is generally wrong, respectfully. My work also politely attempts to prove that our perceptions are not to be trusted, and that observational data is our key to advancement as a society.

Further, I learned the ethical responsibility of providing accurate citation to show respect for the sources that made my writing what it is. Without proper citation, the advancement of knowledge is halted because the validity of the information will be questionable.

Reflective- thesilentbutdeadlycineman

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

In almost all of my work for this class, I have asked for feedback from the professor, which often resulted in copious amounts of constructive criticism, which in turn I used to evolve said work. As demonstrated by the extensive amount of comments in thesilentbutdeadlycineman’s Proposal, I really try to use my interactions with the professor to improve my pitch. What started out as a simple topic like Rock ‘n’ Roll was saved by the Occult (which already had a lot of external support going for it and wasn’t very original), morphed into Rock ‘n’ Roll instead focusing on honoring deities and various religions, which in turn became the pitch that Rock ‘n’ roll  is commonly misinterpreted, like a book being judged by its cover (White Paper- thesilentbutdeadlycineman).

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

I highlighted the counterintuitive nature of the course by placing various seemingly unrelated ideas together to create interesting arguments. In my Definition Rewrite, I needed a way to define Rock ‘n’ Roll and how it is misunderstood, without actually defining the genre in a straightforward manner. My argument was that the music was judged by its seemingly dark-nature exterior, while in truth it is a wide variety of colorful topics. I decided to bring in multiple instances of Black individuals throughout history who were unfairly judged by the color of their skin. Both Solomon Northup and Thomas-Alexandre Dumas were unfairly judged by their race, even though they were very accomplished men. The misjudgment of Blacks and of Rock ‘n’ Roll initially seem unrelated, but I have managed to synthesize what they represent.

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

In my work, I have tried to appeal to specific audiences by showing a clear purpose with appropriate context. I have also analyzed other texts in order to see if they properly meet these rhetorical elements. For example, I once read through three different articles- How to Armor Planes,Mormons Baptize Anne Frank, and Surviving the Shower– and came up with my own Summaries. The original articles were nice and had counterintuitive topics, but did not always focus clearly on the rhetorical elements. In my summaries, I made sure to focus on each specific purpose throughout the entire effort, not losing sight on what I argument I should be focusing on. For each composition, I had specific audiences in mind, and tried to appeal to their best interests. I also retained specific contextual evidence from the original articles to clearly support the purposes.

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

Throughout my essays, I worked hard to incorporate illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations. For example, in my Stone Money Rewrite, I attempted to show that money had no value and was just an abstract concept. First, I used an example from Milton Friedman’s The Island Of Stone Money to show that although money on the island of Yap is never actually present (instead represent by almost immovable stone wheels), a trust system and word of mouth successfully creates a method of purchasing and selling. The example was a story in which a group of individuals were transporting a large stone wheel from one point of the island to another.  On the way, a storm broke out and the stone fell to the bottom of the ocean. Once the group arrived at the destination, they told the people there that they had a massive stone wheel and that it had fallen into the ocean. The listeners accepted this account as fact and offered gifts to the sailors based on how much they believed the stone was worth. Following this example, I incorporated my own illustration of the overall concept by relating it to money in our own society. We never actually see the money, instead trusting green pieces of paper and little digital numbers on computer screens to represent any form of transfer. In almost all my of essays, I would use this combination of outside work and personal illustrations to really create “full” arguments.

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

In my writing, I really make to represent each side of an argument fairly. For example, in my Definition Rewrite, I highlight my personal stance on Rock ‘n’ Roll, explaining how it is misunderstood. However, I also took my opponents’ views in consideration through my Causal Rewrite. In this essay, I analyze the multiple reasons why Preachers choose to denounce Rock ‘n’ Roll, like how the genre highlighted blasphemous values (immediate cause), and the diminishing amount of church attendees over the years (remote cause). I don’t insert my own opinion in this essay, instead working hard to find external sources that support each possible reason. For example, to support my remote cause, I included this quote by  Dr. Richard J. Krejcir of churchleadership.org to show specific statistics- “Most of the statistics tell us that nearly 50% of Americans have no church home. In the 1980s, membership in the church had dropped almost 10%; then, in the 1990s, it worsened by another 12% drop-some denominations reporting a 40% drop in their membership. And now, over half way through the first decade of the 21st century, we are seeing the figures drop even more!”

Reflective-Collegekid9

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

As I previously learned through my years of writing, Professor Hodges restated that writing requires more than one draft and that there is always room for improvement. If all of this is done properly it will be a successful well-written paper.  When it comes to changing my work, I find there are times when I feel like what I have written is good enough, even though I know there are things I could change.  I know that I could  honestly have done a more thorough job at achieving this core value throughout the semester. The best example of this is my Stone Money paper.  Even though this is not going to be in the portfolio, this essay was a good stepping stone to the expectations of this class. It showed the evolution of drafts and corrections that need to be made for a well written college essay.

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

For every writer, the most important stage in the writing process is to grasp an understanding and collect information on their topic.  This entire class is based on our research.  Every assignment we have is one that involves a necessarily large amount of the knowledge of our subject.  The more sources that we read helps us to make our argument become more professional. Another thing is that you have to make sure that your sources are reliable.  This goal is shown in the process of our research papers. My paper on Vancouver’s free heroin involves a lot of medical information so I could present a good background of heroin.

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

Throughout this course, I have been refreshed about everything that essays embody.  We must remember that every piece of writhing has a purpose as well as an audience. In my Visual Rewrite, I presented this value by studying the motive of the 30 second ad “A Kid Again | Father Involvement.” This assignment was given to us as a way to show that every second of this ad was placed there for a specific reason. In this ad, even the man and woman’s clothes were placed for a purpose. For the first 15 seconds, the audience is shown 3 men of different ethnicities doing child-like activities.  We as the audience, watch as others react to the men with pondering expressions.  In the remain 15 seconds, we are shown the men engaging in these actives with their children.  We as an audience are lead to believe that the way to be a good dad, is remembering to be a kid again.

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

Authors must realize that certain writings can not just be stated. With the work that has been done in class, it has been extremely important to analyze as many  writings from as you can.  Thankfully our school offers us different places to be able to search for information other than google and yahoo.  Our library offers resources including ProfSearch, Gale Virtual Reference Library and Academic Search Premier.  The assignment that would best represent this Core Value IV would be my Bibliography where I cited ten sources that were used in my Research Paper.

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

An authors audience in never the same. Some topics can be sensitive to some so, we have to be careful of how things were said and what words were used to say what was written.  At the same time, we as authors need to be true to ourselves and voice our own ideas in a careful manner.  Our own thought are a combinations of our own creation as well as the ideas of others so in a way, we need to represent those writings in a proper fashion.

Reflective-yeezygod21

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

This semester was a very challenging time than my previous years.  Mr. Hodge’s teaching approach is really tough and the work that he criticizes was difficult as well. He introduced me to new methods of the writing process that expanded my knowledge of the craft. He still manages to find errors in my work however; I can still be proud of my writing because I come to him with new ideas that allow him to better understand my writing style. He commented and gave me a lot of feedback on one piece of writing that was the Stone Money Rewrite. In the Stone Money Rewrite I made a lot of changes to make my piece more analytic. Mr. Hodge recommended that I should be more transparent and add details to make my point valid; also he suggested that I use abstract ideas and concepts to widen my range of my writing flexibility. I now understand why Mr Hodges kept pushing me to rewrite my material. In my previous experience I would rewrite my piece of work just 2-3 times. But David Hodges made me go further depth in my writing.

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

Second, I demonstrated the Core Value II by using a technique for concrete examples to illustrate abstract concepts, just like how Cows and Chips were assigned in my Stone Money Rewrite. I used this example of “how friend play poker with a set number of poker chips, you can only play until one of you loses all their chips. By adding fake chips to your lot, you can draw more hands until you break even or win. Edman allowed Brazil to continue their economic game by creating more opportunities for his country to be active in the business world.” I am very content of my work on this piece because the poker analogy made sense to of how Brazil used fake money. Now I realized of how to concrete examples to illustrate abstract concepts can help my writing. My writing will be more creative, not boring. Readers will actually enjoy it and think about of what abstract ideas that I came up with.

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

 

I had trouble of picking a topic that I can truly write about. Later, I found that I should write about of how smart phones are distracting. However, when I proposed this idea to Mr. Hodges he insisted that my topic is not bad or good it’s in the middle. I took that advice and I thought of a new topic which is about should the government have the control to override someone privacy.  In this piece of writing Definition Argument shows my stance on how the government should not have control of accessing privacy. I knew that if I can pick a write topic I can write about it because I am capable of doing that.

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

I displayed core value four in the Definition Argument Rewrite, “Defintion Rewrite” I’ve met the some expectations of academic writing in my Definition Argument because I stated my position of this topic and presented of my stance in the thesis. I should’ve asked Professor Hodges on this this topic whether if this a valid input or not. I should have listed more sources to show where I got the information. But overall, the content that I have I am satisfied. I felt like I explained thoroughly and get to the reader’s attention.

 

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

I feel I did the best job for this core value because I properly citing my sources and trying to interpret the text critically. In class, when Mr. Hodges taught one class on how appropriately   to cite sources in the text. I took that time wisely so then for the future I will have the knowledge to cite properly.  In the text that I manage to cite well is in Stone Money Rewrite. In this I took the sources that were given and talk about it. I gave credit on who wrote the material and then I interrupt on my own way. I am fully satisfied with this Core value than the others ones.

Reflective – darnell18

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

I know that I could have done a more thorough job on this core value throughout the semester, even though my work may not depict a firm grasp of this concept. Nevertheless, gathering copious amounts of knowledge and information for my research paper helped me to be much more open-minded about my topic of discrimination by police officers on the road. I was set on strictly supporting the side of the frequently targeted African Americans in this argument when starting this assignment, and while I still remain on the same side, I am now more open to hearing out opposing views, such as the theory that police officers only seek people violating the law, and consistently serve without discriminating against African Americans. In my Rebuttal Rewrite, my research led me to remember that traffic stops can simply be due to a law being broken, and not to just assume that the intent in all stops are derived from the driver’s race. Research is important because I could not write a successful paper without understanding both opposing viewpoints of the issue being discussed.

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities.

On the assignments that required me to do so, I was able to see that close and critical reading/analysis allows me to understand how and why texts create meaning. The first assignment that comes to mind is my work on Safer Saws. I synthesized ideas from multiple articles into the same assignment effectively. I assessed multiple claims from different people on the same saw, from various readings, and did it in a cohesive, comprehendible way. Also, this was not from a text, but my writing on the Visual Rewrite assignment showed that I am capable of critically analyzing a piece of work and understand the meaning it creates. Breaking down the specifics of what people did every second helped me to get a better understanding of why they did it. Regardless of the fact that it was a video rather than text, I feel the same concept can be applied in the fact that I was able to take complex material and make it mesh together.

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

I would like to believe that I was able to analyze the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments rather well. Most specifically, I think that I took the purpose and audience into consideration when it comes to my research paper on discrimination by police while driving. My opinions may have gotten in my way when trying to write a non-biased paper, but nevertheless, my purpose was to make whoever may read the paper socially aware of my topic. Also, taking my audience’s opinions into consideration is what made me look deeper in research to understand and respect both sides of the argument. In the end of my Rebuttal Rewrite, I actually addressed the audience by saying that regardless of what side they may take, this is really happening and to neglect that fact will only make the problem worse.

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

Throughout the process of writing my definition, causal, and rebuttal essays on discrimination by police while driving, I did not necessarily incorporate many different sources within those texts. Not to say that I did not have them, but I probably could have done more to involve a wider variety of resources in those arguments. Furthermore, I will still utilize many more articles, facts, and statistics in my final paper. I found that the papers leading up to my final copy were somewhat of a trial and error process of seeing how to tie it all together. Referencing back to my Bibliography, I have an abundance of sources supporting both different viewpoints of whether this discrimination exists, or traffic stops are solely based on the violation of laws. With that being said, my prior work may not reflect meeting the expectations to support my own ideas, but I am certain that my finished research paper will fulfill these requirements and contain evidence to support my interpretations, as a final paper of any variety should.

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation.

As far as I am concerned, I did a good job of respecting my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. More so, in my Rebuttal Rewrite, I believe I was able to cover both sides of the argument fairly; whether discrimination by police exists, or rather it is solely based on violating the law. I did so while also being able to logically refute the opposing viewpoint with statistics. The topic I chose of discrimination by police while driving is extremely complex without a doubt, so it is difficult, but I tried to stay openminded to the best of my ability even though I firmly stand on one side of the topic. When it comes to appropriate citations, I did not learn how to properly do so until a few weeks into this course so there are still things that may need to be edited and corrected. Nevertheless, I now firmly understand how to do so, even though the current state of some of my work may not reflect that.

Bibliography – darnell18

1. Ingraham, Christopher. You Really Can Get Pulled Over for Driving While Black, Federal Statistics Show” The Washington Post, 09 Sept. 2014. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: Much like some of my other sources, this article contained facts and analysis on the racial disparity of traffic stops. It provided plenty of graphs and charts to give an easily comprehendible visual of this issue.

How I Used It: I used this article to get a better understanding of both sides of the argument via statistics, but just came to realize the disparity holds true in favor of whites like the majority of my other sources. Much of the content is similar among varying sources, but that just helps to verify that the shocking statistics that I continue to see are actually accurate.

2. Soften, Kim. “The Big Question About Why Police Pull Over So Many Black Drivers” The Washington Post, 08 July 2016. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article asked the question of why more black drivers get pulled over than any other race, and dug deep to find out the reason. It provided statistics and feedback on them to provide the reader with a better understanding of each aspect.

How I Used It: I used this material to support the majority of my side of the argument. The statistics are constant with the other sources I have used so the accuracy of these statistics is supported as well. Therefore, I was able to use these facts with confidence in my writing.

3. Harris, David. “Driving While Black: Racial Profiling On Our Nation’s Highways” American Civil Liberties Union, June 1999. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article broke down individual aspects that contribute to discrimination on the roads. From roughly 20 years back, this literature was informative on the background of racial profiling while driving prior to society deeming it a legitimate issue that needed to be addressed.

How I Used It: I used this historical background in coordination with what I know about the topic now. Regardless of the time difference, many of the specifics on these issues remain the same, which informs me that it has been a big problem and disparity for years now, just not acknowledged as much until recently.

4. American Civil Liberties Union. “”Driving While Black” in Maryland” American Civil Liberties Union, 2 Feb. 2010. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article specifically breaks down profiling on the road in the state of Maryland. Certain parts of the article are not necessarily from recent studies, but are still relevant in relation to the things that happen in today’s America.

How I Used It: Again, I used this background knowledge to better inform me of the history of this epidemic. There are recent instances provided, but overall this showed me how long this has actually been an issue in society and why organizations fought the Maryland Police about racial profiling at the time.

5. Office of Justice Programs. “Traffic Stops” Bureau of Justice Statistics, Dec. 2016. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article got into the specifics of what actually happens after the traffic stops. From search and seizures to reasons given (or not given), these statistics also explain why drivers are pulled over.

How I Used It: A portion of this article stated something about speeding being the top reason given for stops. This could refute the side of the issue I am arguing. I used it to show that the other side has a point in that, speeding is speeding whether you are black or white, so not every single stop is provoked by the race of the driver. Sometimes, the driver can actually just be doing something wrong.

6. Langton, Lynn. Durose, Matthew. “Police Behavior During Traffic And Street Stops, 2011” Bureau of Justice Statistics, 24 Sep. 2013. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article simply provides statistics in relation to police behavior during stops and whether or not they provided an actual reason for pulling people over in these instances. Although there is a noticeable difference among traffic stops, it was stated that racially, there is no notable difference in street stops.

How I Used It: I used this information to support the fact that there is a true noteworthy difference in traffic stops among different races. From searches to tickets, whites are targeted less according to these consistent statistics.

7. Makarechi, Kia. “What The Data Really Says About Police and Racial Bias” Hive, 14 July 2016. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article goes into the killing of unarmed americans, why police pull people over, and also the use of nonlethal force among other subtopics.

How I Used It: Part of this article went into how police determine who to stop on the road. I used that newfound knowledge in accordance with what I already knew about these traffic stops. Also, off-duty police officers have been killed by on duty police officers in the past, with an astounding ratio of the victims being black or latino, so that was valuable knowledge discovered.

8. Dove, Travis. “The Disproportionate Risks of Driving While Black” The New York Times, 24 Oct. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article is an examination of traffic stops and arrests in Greensboro, North Carolina. Wide racial differences in various measures of police conduct are uncovered through analysis of particular instances and also the use of statistical charts and tables.

How I Used It: I used this background information and quotes from police officers to better understand where the officers are coming from as well. It is also interesting and very beneficial to individually analyze statistics in certain parts of the country rather than the country as a whole.

9. Lee, Jaeah. “We Crunched the Numbers on Race and Traffic Stops in the County Where Sandra Bland Died” Mother Jones, 24 July 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: This article provides statistics and analysis on police stops in the exact area where Sandra Bland was arrested. Bland was a black woman who died in custody after being pulled over in a traffic stop that violently escalated rapidly.

How I Used It: I used certain knowledge gained from this to support the opposition’s rebuttal of my argument. Many numbers point towards more blacks being pulled over in most areas, but when researching, areas that have a higher amount of whites being pulled over cannot simply be looked past.

10. Jantzi, Amanda. Brown, Charlie. “Driving While Black” Cornell University Law School, 2010. Web. 1 Dec. 2016

Background: Cornell students compiled information on driving as a minority in this country and related case studies. They cover profiling, classic cases of “driving while black” and new developments with this issue.

How I Used It: I used background information from specific case studies to support the fact that this is a common occurrence that defendants often take to court. They do so because black or white, more often than not drivers know when they are doing something illegal, and when they know they are not, suspicion of racism by police officers comes into play.

Self Reflective – BTB100

Core Value I. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

I demonstrated my idea on Core Value I by going back editing my papers many time and taking advantage of the advice professor Hodges whether it was in person or feedback on a reply. I demonstrated this idea on my Causal Rewrite where I went back a few times to edit my paper and met face to face with professor during class to get advice and ideas on how to make my paper the best to my ability. He explained to me that I was missing the effects to my causes, as well as make separate paragraphs instead of a just a few giant bulky paragraphs and separate them by ideas. The information and advice that professor left me with I was able to use to my advantage and took his feedback as a helping tool. By editing revising and listening to feedback from professor Hodges I was able to demonstrate what Core Value I means to me.

Core Value II. My work demonstrates that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities.

I demonstrated my idea of Core Value II by connecting two different ideas together that helped build up a strong claim. In my Rebuttal Rewrite I gathered information from different articles that had the same idea, but had different claims that I felt both helped me build a strong argument and was able to put them together. I was able to share my thought on other people’s comments such as Lt. Gen. Clarence E. McKnight and use their ideas and thoughts to my advantage by countering some of there arguments and sharing my own ideas. By understanding this Core Value II was able to find the right information and ideas that I needed from articles to help propose a strong rebuttal for my paper.    

Core Value III. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

I demonstrated my idea of Core Value III by understanding who my readers are and what kind of background knowledge they have on my topic so I know what ideas to give them and a background on what my idea is. In my work, Definition Rewrite I was able to target the citizens of America and a problem that they tend to hear much about in this past year. I focused on the American people to give them an idea of what is going on in our world and how actions of our government may or may not affect us. I never singled out an individual but maintained my focus on the people of America and a situation that we face. By knowing who my readers are I can turn their attention to the matters of terrorism and refugee problems that we face. By understanding what the Core Value III is I was able to demonstrate it in my work.   

Core Value IV: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

I demonstrated my idea of Core Value IV by demonstrating it in my Visual Rewrite. I was able to prove my understanding of this Core Value by understanding what my video “Take Time to Be a Dad Today” was about. I was able to understand this videos message with no volume and just by the location of the house the type of mood the actors seem to be in as well as the movement. Such as the father seemed to have been playing with a child just by the looks from our first few glimpse because he was doing a little childish dance and looking down which in fact gave the the impression of looking to someone smaller then him due to not being visible through the window. By pausing it second by second getting a good glimpse of all the events going on in the video I was able to come up with an idea for what was going on and then was able to conclude to a conclusion, that the father was trying to spend time with his daughter and trying to make an impact on her life. After getting my final thought I went back and turned the volume up just to make sure my ideas matched the videos point which came out successful.

Core Value V. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation.

I demonstrated my idea of Core Value V by understanding to give credit to when credit is due and by doing so I would always give credit to an author when using helpful there ideas as seen in my Bibliography I would give credit to the author and the name of the article to provide where I got my information from, as well as attach a link to my work cited to show exactly where I got my information from so it would bring you exactly to the website by just clicking the title. By doing so I was able to demonstrate my ethical beliefs in writing. As well as explain how I used their ideas to help my argument by giving a short statement of how I used it. By having good ethics I was able to show where my information came from so that they weren’t some idea that I thought of, but a credible source where I was able to use to build my claims up.    

Rebuttal Argument- Jsoccer5

Americans love for sports is a love like no other, children idolize athletes and aim to become a professional someday. For many children they become completely absorbed into the world of professional sports, wearing the same clothing as professionals, acting like these professionals not only on the field but also off the field, and consuming the same foods and beverages that these athletes are thought to consume. What many children, and families do not realize is that many of times athletes are paid large amounts of money to be a spokes person for big companies such as Gatorade and Nike even if they don’t particularly like the brand. One industry that thrives from this idolization is the industry of sports drinks, such as Gatorade and Powerade, which was projected to reach 2 billion dollars in 2016. American’s cannot get enough of these products and are lead to believe they are good for them because these athletes use them. In an article written by Andrea Cespedes that was published on the livestrong foundation website she states “Americans certainly seem convinced these hydration drinks offer plenty of benefits.” While Americans are not wrong, these drinks do have some beneficial factors, they also are full of negative factors and the positive factors are only beneficial to a small percentage of people.

Cespedes considers sports drinks to be “artificially flavored water containing added electrolytes.” Americans are aware that electrolytes are essential in recovering and preparing to do any type of exercise lasting about an hour. Electrolytes are minerals that you lose when sweating and help with proper muscle function and need to be replaced after exercise. When American find out what electrolytes are and why they are needed the only answer on how to recover from sweeting and working out is the consumption of sports drinks. By this definition, sports drinks are ultimately considered mineral enhanced and flavored water not posing any health threats. Cespedes also talks about how sports drinks are a great source of carbohydrates that can be quickly absorbed and turned into fuel ready immediately after exercise lasting around 90 minutes. She also states in her piece that the Journal of International Society of Sports Nutrition showed “in 2014 that these drinks enhance the body ability to break down carbs during exercise and can enhance exercise.” Cespedes also discusses how these drinks can work as pre-workout energy boost if you haven’t eaten prior to a workout, and how they are essential after a workout to prepare for the next workout scheduled. All of these statements lead Americans to think that anyone that exercises should consume these beverages as they are good for them, however this is untrue as most Americans do not exercise to the extent and intensity needed to consume these drinks. In result of Americans reading an article like this the assumption that as long as you exercise for an hour to an hour and a half consuming sports drinks are good for you. What comes as a result of that thought process is children constantly consuming sports drinks as most of their sports last at least an hour, and these children push to consume these beverages as their favorite athletes do as well. What Americans are not made aware of is the amount of negative impacts these drinks can have if consumption is made by people who are not exercising to the extremes needed to lose all those electrolytes and carbs.

The biggest problem of these oh so famous sports drinks is that they fall in the same category as sugary drinks, such as fruit punch and red bull, and the consumption of sugar drinks is a key factor in the nationwide epidemic of childhood obesity. For many the idea that these sports drinks that are suppose to be good for you are actually full of sugar and are bad for you seems to be confusing and conflicting. The way media and companies such as Gatorade use celebrities to promote the product and talk positively sells Americans on the decision to purchase and consume sports drinks, and Americans forgot that these drinks are actually packed with sugar. When looking at the back of a 20 ounce bottle of Gatorade, it contains 35 grams of sugar, and 150 calories. According to the US Dietary Guidelines for Americans “the suggested amount of discretional calorie intake for children, which includes sugars and fats, should be about 5-15% and the consumption of sugar should be between 12 and 25 grams per day and based on their age. ” While these are the ideal suggestions for ultimate health Americans actually consume about 82 grams of sugar a day as well as 16% of their caloric intake comes strictly from sugar. That bottle of Gatorade is almost double what the amount of sugar intake should include, and while these drinks are recommended to be consumed during exercise, a child who plays soccer for an hour twice a week is not working hard enough to lose all those electrolytes and carbs, making that excess sugar from the sports drinks turn into fat.

While these sports drinks are promoted in a way that makes them seem healthy and good for you especially after exercise, that is not actually the case. These large companies use professional athletes to promote these products, as they actually are exercising to the extent that is needed to have to replenish the missing electrolytes, when in reality most everyday Americans do not exercise to that extend especially children. Big corporations like Gatorade use media to its advantage to promote these products to make money, even though the information given is often only for a particular person. For parents who get their information about these drinks from other sources such as the article on the livestrong cite, the authors use vague terms and phrases, such as Cespedes did when talking about electrolyte replacement stating “They must be replaced if you sweat a lot or are exercising at a relatively intense level for more than an hour.” The lack of clarity on what a lot is or what a relatively intense exercise is leaves rooms for Americans to determine that they are fulfilling those requirements so they must consume these products. Throughout many campaigns and initiatives more people are becoming properly informed about the overall health benefits of drinks like this and American is slowly becoming more and more health conscious, resulting in less consumption of these drinks and more consumption of water and other beneficial beverages.

Work Cited

Cespedes, Andrea. “Benefits of Sports Drinks Like Gatorade and Powerade.” Leaf Group, 09 June 2015. Web. 04 Dec.

Johnson. “How much is too much?” Research. SugarScience.org, 30 Mar. 2014. Web. 5 Dec. 2016.

 

 

Bibliography — dragon570

A7FL. “Safety – A7FL.A7FL. A7FL, n.d. Web. 06 Nov. 2016

Background: This source talks about the disadvantages that a players has when they have their helmet on during games. A7FL is a football organization that player football without helmets. It compares it’s player concussion rate to that of the NFL’s concussion rate.

How it was Used: I used it in my Casual Argument in the third paragraph because it showed how many hits player receive in one game and that can cause a player to receive a concussion.

Brain Concussion – Shake It and You Break It | Steven Laureys | TEDxLiège. Dir. Dr. Steven     Laureys. Perf. Steven Laureys. YouTube. YouTube, 2 May 2016. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

Background: Talks about how athletes that get blows to the head repeatedly can hurt later on in their lives.

How it was Used: I used this in my Causal Argument because Steven’s main point was that multiple blows to the head can cause someone to feel the effects after awhile whether it be right that second or later down in their lives.

Concussion: Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prevention.” WebMD. ebMD, n.d. Web. 07 Nov. 2016.

Background: It talks about what happens in the skull when a concussion occurs and also the symptoms that come with having a concussion

How it was Used: I used it in my Definition argument when I explained what happen to the brain when someone has a concussion.

Dawson, Peter. “Rugby Tries – How and Where You Score Tries in Rugby.” RugbyHow. RugbyHow, n.d. Web. 07 Nov. 2016.

Background: It goes over the basic rules of game of rugby and how it’s played.

How it was Used: I used it in my Definition argument because it help me get a better and more accurate description of how Rugby is played

Drysdale, Thomas A. “Journal of Legal Medicine.” Helmet-to-Helmet Contact: Avoiding a Lifetime Penalty. Taylor And Francis Online, 13 Dec. 2013. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

Background: It studies the effects of Chronic  Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) has on NFL player because a football player named Junior Seau died from this disease when he shot himself. He was in the NFL for 19 seasons as a linebacker.

How it was Used: I used this article in my Causal Argument in the second paragraph. I thought it was useful because it showed that even player that had helmets on during the game can receive concussions and multiple hits to the head can cause a person to receive a concussion.

Fawcett, Robert. “Pads and Helmets: Rugby vs. Gridiron.” Pads and Helmets: Rugby vs. Gridiron. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

Background: It compares how rugby and the football are different Robert Fawcett is someone who has experience in both rugby and football and he gives his take on it.

How it was Used: I used this source in proposal +5 because it shows how football and rugby are different.

Goff, Alex. “Concussions: Rugby Can Help Football.” The Post Game. RugbyMAG, 15 Oct. 2013. Web. 4 Dec. 2015.

Background: It compares rugby to football and showing how better rugby tackling is more effective than the way football players tackle.

How it was Used: I used this source in my proposal +5 because it agreed with the idea that rugby tackling is more effective than how the NFL players tackle.

Haislop, Tadd. “Football Helmets Are Creating More Problems than They Solve.” Sporting News. Sporting News, 28 May 2015. Web. 20 Nov. 2016.

Background: It explains how football helmets are causing more harm than good.

How it was Used: I used this source in my proposal +5 because it is an article about how rugby. Also, they say that football player feel they are indestructible.

Lemco, Tyler. Lemco: Why Football Needs Less Pads. Computer software. CBS Local Sports. CBS, 3 July 2015. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

Background: They says that rugby has less injuries than football, but they have less padding.

How it was Used: I used this source in my white paper because it helps me find the some of the flaws that for in the NFL’s way of tackling. This article also compares rugby and football tackling and says that rugby has less concussions than football and rugby wears little to no pads.

Quirk, Ryan, Jason McDonald, Meehawl Mofiodh, PJ Coward, Cameron Rudderham, Simon McCormack, and Gary Snook. “Re: Why Does Football Have a Much Bigger Concussion Problem than Rugby Even Though Rugby Players Wear Far Less Protection?” Blog comment. Quora. Quora, 13 July 2015. Web. 4 Dec. 2016.

Background: Numerous people agree that the helmets in the NFL are doing more harm than good because of the thought that they are invincible when they have their helmets and pads on but that far from the truth.

How it was Used: I used it in my proposal +5 because it was exactly the kind of source I was looking for when it came to football players thinking they’re indestructible but in actuality they aren’t.

Vrentas, Jenny. “Helmetless Football? It’s the New Practice at New Hampshire.” The MMQB. Muscles and Medicine, 4 Dec. 2014. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

Background: It talks about how players of the University of New Hampshire once the top school for players being treated with concussions to having their no helmets during certain parts of their practice.

How it was Used: It used this source in my proposal +5 because it shows how the game is evolving. Also, having certain drills without helmets can really benefit the players into realizing that they have to protect their head more.

Causal Rewrite- jsoccer5

Do you know what is in that?

Childhood obesity is one of the country’s biggest health problems of the 21st Century and there is truly no cure. In an article produced by the American Society for Nutrition they discuss how obesity is the result of interactions between factors such as genetics, cultures, environments, socioeconomic status and behaviors. These factors are the reasons why people eat what they eat and more specifically is the consumption of sugar.  For most Americans the main source of added sugar consumption comes from their intake of sugary drinks. This unfortunately makes sugary drinks one of the leading causes of childhood obesity.

Sugary drinks are sold everywhere from convenient stores to school vending machines and this exposes children to the constant access and ability to consume. Due to this exposure of drinks like Gatorade and Coke these beverages are being consumed more and more every day. Based on an article written by Roderick McKinley, the average American consumes 1.6 cans of soda a day resulting in the consumption of more than 500 cans of soda in one year. Think about the one 12 ounce can of Coca-Cola, that can of soda contains 39 grams of sugar. According to an article published by Sugar Science, the average amount of added sugar a child should consume in one day is 18.5 grams however this may vary based on age, but should never be more than 25 grams a day. If a child consumes just one can of Coca-Cola a day they have already doubled their sugar intake for the day. The most concerning aspect are the calories being consumed by drinking these beverages. The U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend the total intake of discretional calories, including sugars and fats, should range between 5-15% per day, yet most American children consume about 16% of their intake from added sugars alone, not including fats or any other foods. Many Americans are shocked to learn these statistics. They don’t always understand where these added sugars are coming from and do not seem to realize they come from the drinks they are consuming.

These sugary drinks are often consumed without much thought into the fact that the person consuming the beverage is drinking large amounts of sugar while at the same time they are consuming a large percentage of their daily calories; not to mention doing so quickly. The problem is that many people consume more of this than their body needs. According to an advice column published by the Arch Pediatric Medical Journal, these drinks are consumed before the body has time to realize it is full, in the same way a body would when eating solid food.  The World Health Organization adds to this by stating “these drinks have little nutritional value and do not provide the same feeling of fullness as solid food does, making it so they continue to consume more even though their body has had enough.” As people continue to consume these beverages they begin to exceed the amount of sugar their body needs to produce energy.  Because of the over consumption the body breaks down only what it needs for energy and the rest is stored as fat. After many years of consuming too much sugar and the body continuing to turn the excess into fat, the fat continues to add up ultimately resulting in the person becoming obese. In a study conducted by the American College of Nutrition, they found that “Obese children consume significantly more servings of fats and sugary beverages than non-obese children in a study done between the two groups.” This study, along with many others of a similar nature, have helped to prove the direct correlation between obesity and sugary drinks and how this has affected the nationwide epidemic.

Childhood Obesity may never be cured due to the many different causes. The CDC currently states that childhood obesity affects about 12.7 million children. This statistic could be reduced if sugary drink consumption goes down as well. If parents become more educated and adopt healthy habits themselves, such as cutting back intake of soda, they will begin to influence their children and the children around them to do the same. There is hope that in future generations, obesity rates will decline as a result of parents educating themselves on this issue. As those children become parents, their knowledge on this topic will be extensive and they will be able to provide the healthiest nutritional options for their future children.

Work Cited

Childhood Obesity Facts.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 17 Nov. 2016. Web. 30 Nov. 2016

Gillis, Linda J., and Oded Bar-Or. “Food away from home, sugar-sweetened drink consumption and juvenile obesity.” Journal of the American College of Nutrition 22.6 (2003): 539-545.

Johnson. “How much is too much?” Research. SugarScience.org, 30 Mar. 2014. Web. 5 Dec. 2016.

Malik, Vasanti S., Matthias B. Schulze, and Frank B. Hu. “Intake of sugar-sweetened beverages and weight gain: a systematic review.” The American journal of clinical nutrition 84.2 (2006): 274-288.

McKinlay, Rodrick D. “Obesity Action Coalition » Childhood Obesity: The Link to Drinks.” Childhood Obesity: The Link to Drinks Comments. Obesity Action Coalition, n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

 “Reducing Consumption of Sugar-sweetened Beverages to Reduce the Risk of Childhood Overweight and Obesity.” Reducing Consumption of Sugar-sweetened Beverages to Reduce the Risk of Childhood Overweight and Obesity. World Health Organization, 24 Aug. 2016. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

Sugary Drinks and Childhood Obesity. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2009;163(4):400. doi:10.1001/archpediatrics.2009.16