But Enough About You- Doublea

Money seems to have a big role in our society; we can’t do much or get far if we don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when we don’t see it physically. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then we would have to hide all of our money under our mattress or around our house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of our money. I always thought money was simple; we either have some or we don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. We don’t actually see our money being transferred. When we get paid, we aren’t handed cash, we don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to our bank account, and we just have to trust that we get more money.

“Enough About You- pATricKStar123”

Money seems to have a big role in our society; without having a substantial amount it remains difficult to survive and obtain virtually anything. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society, we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled in the proper manner. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of the money stored in peoples accounts. Personally, The thought of money always seemed quite simple. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar.  When getting paid, we never see the money being transferred from accounts. we simply have to have some confidence in the honesty of the banks to have the right amount of money in that account.

Enough About You – DudeInTheBack

(OLD)   Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

(NEW)  Money seems to have a big role in our society, and advancement is restricted without it. Money is valuable in different ways, even if its not apparent. In today’s society, there should be faith in the government and in the banking system that money is being handled in the proper manner. If not, then hiding money around the house is the second safest bet. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; either it is tangible or not.  However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. money is never actually seen transferred, just inferred. When getting paid, the cash is not tangible until taken out of the ATM, trusting the fact that the money is real now.

Enough About You- Ugandanknuckles

(This is based on an older form of my definition argument paper that has since been rewritten for the most part)

In the modern era, mantras are popular because of how easy they are, and how promising the results are. Giovanni Dienstmann, a meditation teacher and coach, helps us to better understand the thought process behind repeating a word or phrase. Dienstmann claims, “Sound is vibration. And all the cells in our bodies are vibrating. Everything in the universe is vibrating, and each has its own rhythm. Our thoughts and feelings are, indeed, vibrations in your body and your consciousness.” Further examination of Dienstmann’s claims shows that he believes everything is vibrating in its own way, and that by positioning ourselves in a certain way, or by saying certain words in a certain pattern, we can change how our whole body resonates and vibrates with the universe around us. Dienstmann goes on further to claim that it also effects our hormones, thinking, behavior, and our psychological well-being. Anyone reading that will realize that it’s easy and effective (based on what he says) and be on board right away.

Enough About You- amongothers13

Money seems to have a big role in our society, for our expenses and adventures are limited without a sufficient amount. Money is valuable in different ways, even when we don’t see it physically. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled carefully; if not, then we would have to hide all of our money under our mattresses or around our houses. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of our money. I always thought the concept of money was simple; we either have it or we don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. It all comes down to this: we don’t actually see our money being transferred. When we get paid, we aren’t handed cash, we don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to our bank accounts, and we just have to trust that we will get more money.

Enough About You – picklerick

Original Paragraph
Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

Edited Paragraph
Money drives our society; without it our accomplishments are minimal. Its value is grand, yet invisible to the naked eye. In today’s society, governmental faith is necessary to assure our money is handled properly and carefully. Without this faith, we would be hiding our money under mattresses. Banks keep their methods of handling money to themselves. Money isn’t as simple as, “rich and poor.” However, the assignment, the Yap Fei, there is a clear similarity between US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts. We can’t physically see the money being transferred. There are few physical checks or cash involved in payments anymore; money is merely transferred into our accounts while we have to trust it’s actually there.

Enough About You-Dohertyk9

“Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.”

1) Sentence: “Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any.”

Without “you”: Money seems to have a big role in our society; there isn’t much that can be done without it.

Fix: Money plays such a large role in our society that a person can accomplish next to nothing without it.

2) Sentence: Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically.

Without “you”: Money is valuable in different ways, even when it can’t be seen physically.

Fix: Although a physical representation of money may not be present, its value is never questioned.

3) Sentence: In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house.”

Without “you”: In today’s society, we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, we would have to hide all of our money under the mattress or around our houses.

Fix: We place a lot of faith in our government and in our banks; we blindly trust that at the end of the day, our bank account balance is what it claims to be-the number on the screen or slip of paper. If we didn’t place such strong faith in the system, we would have to resort to stockpiling our money in secret stashes in our homes.

4) Sentence: I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money.”

Without “you”: I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of our money.

Fix: Despite utilizing banks as much as anyone else in our society, I am incredibly uninformed, as many are, as to how the money is handled.

5) Sentence: I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it.”

Without “you”: I always thought money was simple; we either have some or we don’t-that’s it.

Fix: Money never seemed that complex; a person is poor or a person is rich.

6) Sentence: However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar.”

Fix: In reality, money is far from that simple; the Yap Fei, U.S. gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts share the same abstract nature.

7) Sentence: You don’t actually see your money being transferred.

Without “you”: We don’t actually see our money being transferred.

Fix: No one sees a physical transfer of money; we only see the numbers change.

8) Sentence: When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.”

Without “you”: When we get paid, we aren’t handed cash, we don’t receive a physical check, the money is all directly transferred to our bank accounts, and we just have to trust that we got more money.

Fix: The average job no longer hands employees cash or even checks, but instead electronically transfers payment to their accounts.

 

Revised Paragraph: Money never seemed that complex; a person is poor or a person is rich. In reality, money is far from that simple; the Yap Fei, U.S. gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts share the same abstract nature. No one sees a physical transfer of money; we only see the numbers change. Most jobs no longer hand employees cash or even checks, but instead electronically transfer payment to their accounts. Yet, although a physical representation of money may not be present, its value is never questioned. Despite being incredibly uninformed as to how our money is actually handled, we place a lot of faith in our government and in our banks. We blindly trust that at the end of the day, our bank account balance is what it claims to be-the number on the screen or slip of paper. If we didn’t place such strong faith in the system, we would have to resort to stockpiling our money in secret stashes in our homes.