Agenda MON OCT 02

  • Housekeeping
  • Brief Exercise: Looking for Hidden Claims
    • Brief Exercise

      Consider these obvious and hidden claims:

      When Caleb was finally screened for the severity of his TBI, Brannan says he got the second-worst score in the whole 18-county Gulf Coast VA system, which serves more than 50,000 veterans.

      — “finally screened” means that according to Brannan or the author or both, Caleb should have been screened long before. It suggests that the VA was negligent in delaying his testing.
      — “the severity of his TBI” clearly contains the claim that he in fact has some degree of TBI. The fact that he hadn’t until then been screened for it means nobody knew for sure that he did, but the author makes that claim.
      — “Brannan says” means that the author has not independently verified Caleb’s score or where it ranked against all other screenings.
      — “the second-worst score in the whole 18-county Gulf Coast VA system” is offered as Brannan’s claim that her husband is suffering more than almost anyone. Considering her vested interest in promoting this perspective, we have to be at least a little suspicious of the ranking.
      — “which serves more than 50,000 veterans” gives the impression that Caleb was hurt worse than 50,000 other veterans. But let’s be clear. Many of these 50,000 will not have served in combat at all. Many will not have had active engagement with enemy troops on the battlefield. Many of those who did see active fighting will not have been near explosive devices. So we’re not comparing him to 50,000 TBI sufferers.

  • How to Open Lecture/Demo
  • How to Open In-Class Exercise

29 Responses to Agenda MON OCT 02

  1. rainbow987 says:

    -If struggling with analyzing or writing, sometimes it is beneficial to talk to someone about the idea.
    -“When Caleb was finally screened for the severity of his TBI, Brannan says he got the second-worst score in the whole 18-county Gulf Coast VA system, which serves more than 50,000 veterans.”
    -Claims: Caleb had a severe TBI
    -Hidden claims: “finally screened” – Caleb had to wait before he was screened, possibly for a long time.
    -Hidden claims: “the severity of his TBI” – They knew that the brain injury was severe, but they didn’t know how severe. Therefore, the delay in screening was unfortunate, since his injury was so severe.
    -Hidden claims: “Brannan says” – The author does not know for sure how accurate the information.
    -Hidden claims: “the second-worst score in the whole 18-county Gulf Coast VA system.” – Implies the severity of the injury.
    -Hidden claims: “which serves more than 50,000 veterans” – How many of these veterans were in the trauma that Caleb was in? How many of them actually have TBI’s?
    -It is good when you are arguing to confront readers with a bold claim.
    -The best thing that a first sentence can do is to get the reader to read sentence 2.
    -Opening paragraphs need to persuade, state the truth, clarify, and provide premise.
    -Avoid prejudice, sentimentality, ill logic. Appeal to logic.
    -Look for truth, not proof.
    -We lose the argument when the reader becomes defensive.
    -We can be ambiguous, but we must be clear.
    -Completed in-class exercise.

    Like

  2. thebeard1 says:

    – An argument cannot be won in the first sentence, but it can be lost.
    – First sentence could make the reader lose thought
    – Primary job for first sentence is to force the reader to read sentence 2
    – Primary job for second sentence is to get the reader to keep reading on and on
    – First sentence could be an argument, could be debated or illustrated
    – The first sentence should be memorable
    – Persuade readers of the truth of a clearly stated premise
    – Persuasion – we will not prove anything in our essays, we will use logic, emotions, and humanity. Avoid prejudice, cheap sentimentality and illogic
    – Truth – don’t be caught in a lie because we lose then
    – Clarity – ambiguous, must be clear in what we are saying
    – Premises – make arguments towards what we are talking about

    Like

  3. theintern50 says:

    If anyone needs a buddy to help out with writing just let the professor know.
    The first sentence in writing will always be the most effective because it can always be arguable but you could most of the time lose that argument with just the the first sentence of an essay.
    -Don’t use the word “you” in essays because the reader might take it the wrong way.
    A challenge is always a good way to begin but almost never include the word “never”.
    The job of sentence one is to make the reader want to read sentence two and the job for the rest of each sentence is to have the reader hooked and have them keep on reading.
    In an argument there must be 4 unique steps to have a great argument able sentence which would be persuasion, truth, clarity, and premise.

    Like

  4. jadden14 says:

    The first claim is that caleb was finally screened, implying he had to wait or that it shouldve been done sooner.
    The second claim was that the brain injury was severe, this backs the previous claim that it shouldve been done sooner as it was a severe injury.
    The third claim brannan says, is a claim by the author that puts the responsibility of the validity of the story on brannan.
    The fourth claim doesnt specify how many people are in that county.
    The fifth claim tells you how many veterans were in the VA system, however it doesnt speciify if they were combat veterans.
    good opening paragraph
    Arguement cannot be won in the first sentence, but can be lost.
    It makes two strong claims
    Its an arguement
    It makes a challenge to the reader
    its memorable
    establish a premise
    The best thing that the first sentence can do is to compel the reader into reading sentence two.
    persuasion – we will not prove anything in essays. Avoid prejudice, cheap sentimentality
    truth – Avoid lying, as the arguement would be lost.
    clarity – clearly state your claims, if we cant be understood, we lose the arguement
    premise – be sure to make good premises

    Like

  5. splash305 says:

    I am interested in collaborating with another student, that sounds really beneficial to me.
    It is good when you are arguing to confront readers with a bold statement. First sentence should force the reader to read sentence two. Every sentence has to compel the reader to read each sentence. We lose the argument when we get caught in a lie.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      Thank you, Splash. I’ll connect you with a smart and capable partner. Working out the details of your collaboration will be your responsibility, but I’ll be happy to facilitate if asked. You’re right. It could be very beneficial.
      3/3

      Like

  6. flyerfan1974 says:

    -Please check your username and uncheck the default category
    -Ask for feedback to improve your writing
    -The claim is Caleb had a severe TBI
    -Claims are some times hidden in writing
    -Claims can be one worded
    -“An argument cannot be won in the first sentence, but it can be lost”- This is the best sentence, say what you mean, say it as fact and do not apologize
    – It can be lost by establishing a premise that cannot be proved, it could show the author has no idea what the premise is, it can confuse the reader, or simply bore the reader
    -The first sentence in your opening paragraph is the hook and compels the reader to read sentence two
    – Each sentence compels the reader to read the next
    -Use ethos, pathos, logos in your writing to appeal to readers
    – We lose our readers when they become defensive, do not use you

    Like

  7. alaska38 says:

    “finally screened”: Aggravation aboout waiting a long time for the screening.
    “the severity of his TBI”: took a long time to take how bad his TBI was.
    How to make a good opening parargraph: don’t talk to the reader for example don’t use you, your, ect.
    Opening sentence: number one is the best out of all seven of them. It’s the best one out of the seven of them because it gives an argument itself and it makes two claims. It forces the reader to read sentence two. Every has to make the reader to read the next sentence.

    Like

  8. yoshi189 says:

    Reach out if you want a writing partner
    -Good first sentence
    “An argument cannot be won in the first sentence, but it can be lost.”
    – It makes two strong paradoxical claim
    – it is an argument.
    -first sentence primary job is to force the reader to read sentence 2.
    -make a claim
    -argue
    -every sentence has to compel the reader to read the next sentence.

    In need of strong opening
    -add a strong opening in the comments to the ‘Anne Frank’ writing.

    Like

  9. 11collegegirl says:

    – Something to think about: Matching up with another class mate to work on assignments
    – Techniques made to help you write a good opening sentence/ paragraph.
    — never talk to your writing in your first sentence.
    — do not write “you”, it points fingers
    — example of a nice first sentence: An argument cannot be won in the first sentence, but it can be lost.
    — this example has two claims, one being that arguments can be won AND lost in the first sentence.
    — an argument can be lost due to the facts that the author doesn’t have a clear premise of the idea, if it bores your readers
    — primary job of sentence one- making the hook interesting which forces the reader to read sentence two
    — second sentence and so on: to compel reader to read next sentence
    — if you lose readers attention in first sentence, you fail
    -we will persuade our readers by being reasonable but firm
    – keep the readers on your side by making claims that are not prejudice
    – sound logical and reasonable
    – we need to make arguments towards conclusions

    Like

  10. lifeissublime13 says:

    Make sure that if you want feedback you need to click the category box. Feedback will be provided in the comment section of the post you want feedback on.
    There are 5 assignments due already, if you have less than 5 you’re a little behind.
    Beware that if your Stone Money Rewrite is the same as the first draught, you aren’t doing the work.
    If you’re someone who would like to have a writing partner, please let the professor know. It would require meeting with someone a couple hours a week to help get their writing started and to destroy writers block.
    Claims can be hidden in sentences, you just need to analyze them and pick the claims out.
    Going over the PTSD article and finding more claims.
    The first sentence of an opening paragraph is very important. It’s good to state claims early so your readers know what the argument is. Never apologize for your argument, it’s someone else’s job to pick a side with reasoning, you are just stating your points/position.
    The primary job of the first sentence is to pull the reader in (hook).
    The primary job of sentence two is to compel the reader to read sentence three. Every sentence should be building up to the next so the reader continues to read.
    Logos- logic
    Pathos-emotions
    Ethos- humanity
    Appeal to the readers on the base of their humanity.
    Don’t lie, because once you get caught you lose the argument. Don’t insult the reader, that’s also a loss.
    Make your argument strong.

    Like

  11. chandlerbing27 says:

    -Look for hidden (or obvious) claims in the text to better understand the writing.
    -Never speak to your readers using ‘you.’
    -Confront readers with a bold claim.
    -Establish premise which cant be proved

    Terrible first sentences…
    Author has no idea what the premise is.
    Can utterly confuse a reader.
    Do not bore the reader.

    -First sentence should include persuasion, truth, clarity, and premise to make a good argument.

    Like

  12. unknowntrendsetter says:

    In the claim above, “Finally screened” means that it might have taken a long time to get done, their might have been a rather long waiting time for the screening, or it might have aggravated the person that had to get screened to wait.
    “The severity of his TBI” means that they didn’t know how bad that Caleb’s Traumatic Brain Injury was.
    “Brannon says” means that the author is telling the reader what has been said.

    What is the best sentence?
    Sentence #1
    Why?
    It Makes two solid, paradoxical claims that forces you to read sentence number 2. IT makes the reading memorable and challenges the reader. Don’t use the word you because it lectures to the reader and will make the reader lose interest.
    The best first sentences have a premise, clarity, showing truth, and persuasively engages the reader.
    (I am working with someone to get the assignments finished)

    People who are not apart of Anne Frank’s original religious background have good intentions, but should not baptize her in the afterlife so the people of the Jewish faith don’t get offended. If Jesus was used in another religion, and had received a special type of title or position in their religion that puts him in their category, most Christians would be upset or bothered by this. With me being a Christian, I know that we have a habit of making people in history that tried to make a difference positively to make them a saint. The argument being made by Christians is that the baptism is based on respect, rather than religious positioning.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      Good Notes, Trendsetter. 3/3
      If you haven’t done so already, please copy and paste your opening paragraph to the post for the “How to Open” exercise, where it belongs.

      Like

  13. todayistheday19 says:

    Conference:
    -stone money opening discussion
    -semester paper- Seaworld

    Housekeeping:
    -check username to make sure all pieces we wrote were in there
    -check to make sure everything is tagged correctly
    -feedback comes at a cost
    -writing partner opportunities

    Brief excercise: looking for hidden claims
    When Caleb was finally screened for the severity of his TBI, Brannon says he got the second-worst score in the while 18 county Gulf coast VA system, which serves more than 50,000 veterans.
    -finally screened: finally includes aggravation that should have been done sooner
    -severity of his TBI: amplifies that his Brian jinjurybwas severe therefore they should have screened sooner
    -Brannon says- the author doesn’t know for sure that what Brannon says is true. The author distanced from responsibility of verifying this.
    Second worst in the whole 18-county Hulf coast VA system- we don’t know if 18 counties is significant, but it makes us think so
    -which serves more than 50,000 veterans- gives impression that he was hurt worse than 50,000 other veterans. But most of those veterans haven’t served in combat.

    Good openings:
    An argument cannot be won in the first sentence, but it can be lost.
    -bold statement that hooks reader
    Primary job of the first sentence is to compel the reader to read the second sentence. Every sentence has to compel reader to read the next.
    -two paradoxical claims
    -sums up a very strong argument the essay will make
    -it itself is an argument
    -challenge to the reader
    -memorable
    -can be debated, demonstrated, illustrated
    -good example of itself

    Persuaion- pathos (emotions), logos (logic), and ethos (humantity)
    Truth- lying destroys our credibility
    Clarity- if we can’t be understood we lose
    Premise- make arguments towards conclusion

    Give strong first paragraph to Anne Frank article :
    Religious belief should be kept intact even after death. Anne Frank died knkwning her religion in the eyes of the nazis was seen as disgusting. Yet, Anne Frank held in tight to her Jewish faith regardless of the fact nazis were trying to take that away from her. Now, years after her death mornings are trying to take her religion away from her yet again.
    *going to fix in reply

    Like

  14. neweditionlover says:

    Keep yourself updated on your work as time moves on & beware of when asking for feedback you put forth the time & effort to actually revise & edit as instructed!Thinkin about working with another student writer to help enhance both parties knowledge on better writing and meaningful skills if the time permits me I will try to do so ! From our brief exercise in class I’ve learned that all authors are not honest & very forthcoming as they probably should be . You should always confront readers with a good claim or message that gets their attention. You always want to them to keep reading & reading for more information! Also when stating something make it a fact & not an opinion. Primary job for an opening sentence is to grab the readers attention so that they have no choice but to read more . Make arguments towards conclusions using premises

    Like

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