- Housekeeping.
- I’m so so so so very sorry.
- Feedback Please for Stone Money in particular
- Professor Conferences by October 19.
- Provide an Agenda to your Professor on the Chart when you make your appointment
- Text your Professor to alert him to your new appointment.
- Thank you.
- Revision—Moving Image
- Internet Tip: “The Wayback Machine”
Rowan Counterintuitive 
-In order to succeed in this class, you must be able to generate your own thoughts.
-This class is a rewriting class, not a writing class.
-Recommended writing process: Instead of brainstorming, jump in with a first draft. Then, rewrite and rewrite.
-There is no limit to the number of times you can improve your work.
-Text your professor to alert him of your conference appointment.
-The WayBack Machine is an internet archive where you can find videos that no longer exist.
-Nothing in advertisements is accidental.
-Everything has a meaning.
-It is useful to look at other students’ feedback in addition to your own.
-Be aware of mechanical errors.
-Do citations by mentioning the source in the sentence, not at the end in parentheses.
-Remember that “I” is always capital.
-Articles are quoted. Books are italicized.
-“Due to” means “caused by.” Therefore, it is often used incorrectly.
-“Only” modifies the word that follows it. Be careful when using it.
-Pay attention to your word choice.
-Raise your argument value with your word choice.
-Several ideas should be in each sentence.
-Argument and rhetoric are inseparable.
-You do not have to state that something is your opinion because it is already implied.
-The authority in your voice is your credibility.
-Once you get the grammar correct, you can analyze the argument and thesis.
-A thesis has to be specific. It cannot be too vague.
-It is important to create an official title. The title will give the argument a good start. Make it a clear and precise claim. Don’t make your title a question.
-Rhetorical questions are difficult because you don’t know how they are going to be answered. You’ve lost control of the conversation.
-Your job is to shape the reader’s opinion.
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brainstorming is worthless.
Starting with a draft is better.
1st draft is awful then you just rewrite it.
If you start talking about your idea, it’ll be better than thinking about it
Then you rewrite and rewrite and rewrite
Then you publish it and regret.
Descriptions aren’t analysis. describe everything.
Revision in mechanics
Stone Money rewrite due Sunday
New post
Ask for Feedback
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Septmeber 27th Notes Comp 2
Uncheck the “I’m so so so so sorry” category!!
This is a writing class because it is a thinking class, but more than a writing class it is a rewriting class.
How are you told to start writing?
Brainstorm
Outline
Idea map/ Idea web
Free write
Professor hodges theory- Brainstorming is worthless, because we do not have an idea in our heads. There are visualizations and vague notions but until you try to reduce those vague notions swimming in your heads, into words, they are not ideas. IF you have a hard time communicating what you have in your head to someone else, you do not have an idea.
DRAFT first is the best way
You will figure out you will have ideas once you start to write
The creation of language is the creation of meaning
Rewrite
Rewrite again with feedback
Rewrite again with more feedback
Rewrite until you are satisfied, or for as long as you can
Next to last step is to publish
Last step is to regret that you didn’t have time to do another rewrite
Freudian slip- If you think you’re going to say one thing, and you end up saying “your mother”
Make feedback please requests on stone money for Sunday’s deadline
Moving image page
How much detail is enough?
The reader should not only visualize the scene, but also can interoperate the the details that were trying to be posed on the viewer
Internet archive- The Wayback Machine or archive.org.
Fatherhood involvement
Man is riding horse, looks to be a spring or fall day. Has a jacket on. He is acting like a child, looking to be having a good time. He looks at a woman, and she looks to be creeped out
Different man pushes his face onto the glass, looking at another man. the man through the glass gives him a weird looks.
The detail has to be enough information to understand what is going on in the video without seeing the video.
DO not use due to if you d not know the meaning. It means caused by
“only” modifies the word that follows it.
Very important where you place the only in the sentence
People used to barter or trade for things they wanted. Take out the before
Raise the argument value of the words that you spend.
Give next post a title, has to be a clear and precise claim
Stone money will be a new post A04 and make improvements there
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Always start with a draft, the best way to start your writing. Draft, then rewrite, and rewrite again and again and again. there is never a limit if rewrites. After all your rewrites you will publish your work. When you finally publish your work you will then regret it becuase you never got to do one last rewrite.
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– Just start writing with a draft
– Rewrite the first draft
– Rewrite again after feedback and continue to rewrite a long as you have time for
– No limit on how many rewrites you can do
– Publish when you are fine with what you have written
– Regret that you didn’t have time to rewrite anymore
– Schedule conference before October 19
– No amount of detail is too much but have enough to explain everything going on
– Quotation marks for articles
– Use proper capitalization
– Using Inline Citation not MLA
– Name the author in the line you are using quote
– Create Title for Stone Money rewrite
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– This is a re-write class
– Ways to start writing your essays: brainstorming, outlines, idea webs
– There is no idea yet until we share the idea and are able to communicate it with someone else.
– Professor’s Steps for writing: draft, rewrite, rewrite again, rewrite some more and get feedback and you do this as many times as you have time for
– Finally, you publish for grading, the last step is to regret because you probably are going to think that your last draft can be improved even more, you just maybe didn’t have time to do it
– re-write essay for feedback please at least by tomorrow
– deadline for first part of the semester’s meeting is October 19th
– advise for the visual analysis research is to add more detail, the reader needs to be able to visualize the scene
– the “payback machine” which is an internet tool used to retrieve videos that have gotten deleted off of the internet
– look back in student examples that he graded to see easily mistaken grammar issues
– this is under the revision rhetoric page
– you will be creating an official unique title for the Stone Money final draft
– try not to make your title of your essay a rhetorical question because you’ll never know how you’re going to answer it
– stone money rewrite is going to be posted as a NEW POST
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Writing Process
-Draft
-Rewrite
-Rewrite
-Rewrite
-Publish
-Regret you didn’t rewrite again
-No amount of detail is too much.
-Never use “in my opinion.”
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Draft
Rewrite,Rewrite,Rewrite
Publish
Regret
Wayback Machine – internet archive
Visual analysis taking a look at what impact it has on the viewer
The theme of fatherhood involvement seems to be for fathers to spend time with their kids.
Mechanics
Quotation marks for articles
Grammar Corrections
Revision
Uncorrected drafts suffer from imprecise language that inhibits interpretation.
Corrected drafts make clearer statements that are easier to interpret.
Rhetorically effective drafts persuade readers to accept a premise.
A paragraph without a topic sentence or thesis.
Notice the large number of claims in search of a thesis.
Stone Money: Create an official title
Post in A04 and replace A01
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Professor conference is today 9/27/2017 at 10:15 am with Professor Hodges.
*Brainstorm first
*Then start an outline
*Draft >Rewrite>Rewrite>Rewrite
*Do it as many times as you can or need
*Publish
*How Much Detail Is Enough ?*
Analyzing “Fatherhood Involvement Video”
– just looking at the first few seconds you can analyze that the guy is happy, hes smiling maybe at someone else in the park?, looks to be about fall season, looks around middle class with a steady job)
-The Way back machine
view videos using time- stamped to analyze the video
-Revision of mechanics -quotation mark for articles lower case I’s Inline citation not MLA.
New stone money revision will be apart of a new post in a new category (A04 -Stone Money Rewrite)
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There are many ways to start an essay. The best way there is to write a draft. After the first draft, get some feedback and rewrite the essay. Then after you get the feedback on the new essay, you rewrite it again. Then the process repeats itself over and over in the time allotted to improve your writing. In the ad council advertisement, each of the fathers in the commercial were risking the judgement of other adults looking and judging them for the enjoyment of a child or their specific child or children. Mechanics are also important in our rewrites. Making sure that you use in-line citations and putting titles in italics for example will help your rewriting and will make your writing easier to read and understand. Rhetoric is also vital to your rewriting. Rhetorically effective drafts persuade readers to accept a premise. Having a main idea, “jist”, or a thesis statement, will help to keep your essay on topic. Don’t forget an official title!
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Write a draft to start an essay instead of brainstorming or an outline.
Revise the draft until it is good.
Thesis is important because it shows the direction of the paper.
The paper should stay on topic and not have other topics throughout the piece.
connecting with the topic is a plus.
Make sure you select the correct categories.
Title your work.
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Don’t forget to uncheck the box saying, “I am so so so so sorry I keep forgetting to uncheck this default category.” before publishing an assignment.
To start an assignment there are many ways to get your ideas down: brainstorming, free writing, constructing an outline, making an idea map, or even starting the first draft.
The first draft allows you to get all the ideas in your head on paper. This makes it easier to organize and pick out your main points. The process start with a rough draft and then a rewrite. Then another rewrite, and if you have time, another rewrite. Once time is up on the rewrites, publish your product, but don’t forget the last step of regretting not having enough time to rewrite again.
Rewriting is very important because it makes your work better a bit little each time, even though no paper will ever be perfect.
No amount of detail is to much. The detail has to be informative.
There is a link above that takes you to a page with mechanics that should be used for writing (what to do and not to do).
Mechanics: quotation marks for articles,
Do not use MLA but inline citation, which eliminates the name in parentheses at the end of the sentence, but rather adding it into the sentence itself,
The use of the word “only”
Our grammar will be looked at closely, so make sure to go over it and understand what you wrote before publishing.
Stone Money Rewrite: create an official title, don’t make rhetorical questions because you don’t know how someone will respond
This is an important assignment because it shows how you are as a rewriter.
Make a new post called A04: Stone Money Rewrite (not A01).
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Start your writing with a draft and then rewrite. You rewrite again then get feedback from the professor and keep rewriting. The next step would be publishing.
Detail has to be informative to the question.
Reread your work for mistakes such as the mechanics and to see if your argument makes sense.
For the Stone Money rewrite you need to have an official title.
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Advice for writing
-Draft
-Rewrite
-Rewrite as many times you have time for
-Publish
-Regret
We watched an ad from ad council which was archived but we found it through way back machine.
We got the message at the end that fathers make fools of themselves to make their children happy.
When writing quotes make sure the author is included in the sentence when writing and not be put outside of the sentence closed with parentheses.
-“due to” means “caused by”
The lesson is to make sure not to place a certain word in the sentence that does not belong there and you keep checking the sentence if any other word should not be there or should be located somewhere else in the sentence.
Make sure not to have two negatives in a sentence because it then just sounds odd.
In each argument we must make sure that we give enough details and explain our argument without make it too broad or vague.
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-Start by a draft and then rewrite, then rewrite again after feedback
-There is no limit to rewriting
-Lastly there is publishing, this is the one that gets graded
-Lastly your regret you couldn’t rewrite again
-The wayback machine is an internet archive used to retrieve lost items
-There is never to much detail
-Quotation marks are needed for articles
-Uppercase all I’s
-Do not use MLA, use inline citation
-Create an official title of your rewrite
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The fatherhood involvement shows ‘fathers’ acting like kids, playing in the park, smudging dace against the window, jumping on the trampoline. We finally see a children interacting with kids to entertain them; even though they look weird to other adults.
Format corrections
Titles need to be italicized
use inline citation, not MLA
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Housekeeping: 1) uncheck default catergory
2)feedback please catergory so professor can guide you on rewerite.
3) deadline for professor conferences. Provide agenda when you make appointment. Text professor when appointment is made and what the agenda is.
Good ways to start writing: brainstorming, outline, idea map, free write.
Professor believes best way to start is free write. We don’t have an idea until we share. Jump in and just do a draft. Then rewrite and the rewrite again. Get feedback. Then rewrite and rewrite. No maximum amount for rewrites, always have room to improve. Then publish. Graded and regret. We shouldn’t regret because rewrites show progress.
Revision- moving image
1)how much detail is enough? Need to provide enough detail to shape picture for the reader. Encourage reader to see things the way creator of video intended.
Wayback machine- internet archive. Link on logo in agenda portion of today’s class. Video on YouTube that no longer works, copy URL and place in wayback search bar. Click on date it was saved and it will bring you to YouTube where video works.
Looking at another students visual analysis. Student only gave one sentence to describe first second of video. Could have given so much more detail. They didn’t paint picture. NOTHING IS ACCIDENTAL!
Sample videos and student:prof feedback available.
Mechanics
1)quotation marks for article titles ex:”Island of Stone Money”
2) journal name would be in italics
3) always capitalize I
4) with intext citations meantion author no need for (author) at end of sentence.
5) due to means caused by so just used because.
6)only modifies the word that follows it. Ex: money only has value- so this is saying money can’t earn value, lose or find value. Better sentence: money has value only because everyone wants it.
7) before, but with used to in same sentence you only need used to.
8) don’t get in habit of saying “kind of person who-” just drop kinds and types.
9) rhetorical questions are loaded guns. If you’re asking a question answer it immediately. If you ask open ended question you are asking reader for their opinion. Gives them opportunity to disagree. You need to shape their opinion not ask for it.
Raise argument value of words you spend. Several ideas in every sentence and no words that are unnecessary. Don’t need to state “in my opinion”. This is less authoritative than just stating your opinion. Authority in voice is our credibility.
Revision-rhetoric
Post shows how to better your paragraphs. Agreement and rhetoric are tied together. Paragraphs need topic sentences and thesis; they bring focus. Paragraph organization: break up in small paragraphs and work them together. Create official title.
New post A04 stone money rewerite catergory due Sunday !
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Notes 9/27/17
-Ways to start writing
brainstorm is only a idea once put into words.
outlines
-Professor way to start writing
draft, rewrite, rewrite and rewrite again, publishing, regret
-House keeping= feedback please, student conferences and revisions
-Moving Image- How much detail is enough?
-The Wayback machine, view video using time- stamped to analysis the video.
The video’s overall purpose was Adult men making fools of themselves for the child to entertain them. Even though other adults will think they are ridiculous.
-Revision of mechanics, quotation mark for articles, lower case I’s, Inline citation not MLA
-Miscellaneous grammer corrections.
A04 stone money rewrite due Sunday
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