Causal Rewrite – BTB100

The threats of terrorism is paralyzing to us. Because of past attacks, we fear of going to sporting events and other large social gatherings. A few examples of recent terrorist attacks that occurred, would be the Boston marathon and the bombing in the Germany vs France soccer game before the European Cup. The attack in France resulted in an unbelievable amount of security on all areas of France. These terroristic threats occurring in todays society causes major problems for the world. The people fear from experiencing some of the most entertaining events the world has to offer. By terrorists creating fear in the people, it helps terroristic groups achieve there ultimate goal, which is to cause chaos and fear.

The people of The US, have mostly agreed that the number one problem that we face in the US is terrorism, according to Rebecca Riffkin, in her article “Americans Name Terrorism as No. 1 U.S. Problem”.  Riffkin claims about one in every six americans feel terrorism is the biggest problem going on in the world. From these results terrorism should then be the first things we solve in America, rather than worrying about others issues. If the people agree on a problem, the government should react to the problem first before the issue increases to a bigger deal.

Terrorism is an on occurring problem in Syria. ISIS who is one of the most popular terroristic groups has been getting involved with Syria and creating chaos. Syrians fearing for there lives are deporting Syria and trying to make there way into other countries that are willing to accept them, which is creating more problems for countries letting in these refugees. ISIS is not a fan of the Syrians leaving, because if these Syrians leave and they are fleeing the country, Isis will have no one to terrorism which defeats the whole idea of terrorizing these people. By The US allowing these people to come into our country causes many problems for us, for which we do not know who they are or what types of ethics they believe in. The U.S could have many benefits by having Syrians stay in Syria in terms of defeating ISIS. By having Syrians stay in Syria it allow ISIS to be all in one area of the world rather than in all different countries, which will allow the counter terrorism programs to intervene and defeat ISIS easily.

First off by the U.S getting involved with ISIS will feel threatened by the U.S and will cause ISIS to do an unethical response such as another attack in fear of retaliation. The people of America feel unsafe already with terrorism, due to recent events that have occurred all over the world so, why should the government go looking out for more problems? The U.S should be fixing the problem and exterminating terrorism here in there own country first. Once the U.S do so, they can begin to offer help to other countries. By the U.S getting involved with these issues in Syria it results in the U.S national security to get into self defense mood. Which will result in more fear for the american people which is not something the people would look forward too.

Many problems occur with letting in these Syrian refugees in, such as we don’t truly know who is coming into the U.S. Many of these refugees are coming in with past crimes such as rape and murder. Now we are letting these Syrians in with who will continue with these lifestyles. By letting these Syrians in with these types of lifestyles they will inflict harm on our own people, because the government didn’t know who they were truly letting in. Another problem that occurs with these refugees is some of these Syrian refugees have forged papers and are really with ISIS which is a giant problem within itself, know we are letting in these people who we are trying to take out and defeat the U.S. Many believe that our government should have great knowledge of the refugees who are coming into the country, and if the government cant confirm who these refugees are then don’t let them in, that is how you create safety and hope for the people. By letting these Syrians into the U.S it is causing more problems rather than solving one. By just closing off the borders of American we are one step closer to defeating ISIS and are taking the fear out of the people. 

The best bet for the US to offer a great chance in safety for the people would be to let other countries take action on the problems that are occurring in Syria, and to just have the US worry about themselves. Even though other people and countries believe to stop terrorism the U.S should go attack ISIS head on, that would cause more problems rather then good. The US has many issues to deal with between its own countries and there problems, to go on and worry about how another country is doing. If it is such a big concern to the world why hasn’t anyone else stepped in and intervene?   

3 thoughts on “Causal Rewrite – BTB100”

    1. Let me start with a quick grammar and syntax check on your first sentence, BTB.

      The threats we received from terrorism has become a giant problem in today’s society, we fear from going to some big event such as a big sporting events that will resolve in being attacked, due to past terrorist attacks that occurred.

      1. Threats is plural while has become is a singular verb. Your subject and verb must match in number.
      2. Your first sentence ends at “today’s society.” But you didn’t stop; you crashed on through a comma, creating the sort of runon called a “comma splice.”
      3. “We fear from going” must mean “We fear going.”
      4. “some big event such as a sporting events,” besides being redundant, contains the “a sporting events” error.
      5. “that will resolve in being attacked” must mean “that will result in being attacked.”
      6. “being attacked, due to past terrorist attacks” doesn’t need a comma. More importantly, its logic claims that we will be attacked because others have been attacked. You probably want the “due to” to refer all the way back to “we fear,” which would make more sense. Because others have been attacked, we’re afraid.
      7. This is picky (the others aren’t!), but “due to” has no use in English. It should always be replaced by “is caused by” or “because of,” but its actual meaning is “caused by.”

      The threat of terror is paralyzing us. Because of past attacks, we fear going to sporting events and other large social gatherings.

      I can’t do this for every sentence, BTB, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to, but somebody should. And if there are many errors throughout, should check the rest of your posts too, before your Portfolio is graded.


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