Rebuttal- Dancers

Skepticism may occur when it’s stated that at home abuse can lead a child to become a bully later in life. Considering what constitutes a case to become child abuse, what exactly it means when a child becomes a victim of abuse is hard to pinpoint.

Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. This abuse can come in many forms including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse. Physical abuse of a child is when a caregiver causes non-accidental physical injuries to a child. Signs of physical abuse in a child will behave differently they may show signs of aggression toward peers or pets. Cases of sexual abuse is when an adult uses a child for sexual purposes or involves a child in sexual acts. After a child is sexually abused their behavior can become withdrawn, depressed or anxious. They can also show signs of aggression, delinquency, and have poor peer relationships. Emotional abuse is when a parent or caregiver harms a child’s mental and social development or causes severe emotional harm. Behavioral signs for children who have been emotionally abused include destructive or anti-social behaviors, violence and cruelty.

Abuse at home does not include a child being reprimanded for the way they were acting by being spanked or yelled at. It means that the child is consistently being hurt at home in which they start to fear for their survival within the home. Abuse within a home can come in many different forms they may have loving parent but abusive siblings or one parent may be caring but the other may not be. It’s difficult to precisely determine what fully qualifies at home abuse.

Believing that all children exposed to abuse at home become bullies may be naive. Not every child will grow up to be a bully some of these children may escape their fate. Or it may be argued that some children who bully do not experience abuse at home at all.

According to a study by researchers from the University of Washington and Indiana University, children who are exposed to violence in the home engaged higher levels of physical bullying than children who were not witnesses to this behavior. This study was the first to examine the association between child exposure to intimate partner violence and the involvement in bullying.

In the study they found the thirty-four percent of children that were studied engaged in bullying and seventy-three percent reported being the victim of some form of bullying with in previous years. It also found that ninety-seven percent of the bullies said that they were also victims of bullying themselves.

Lead author of the study, former UW pediatrician and now an assistant professor of pediatrics at Indian and Riley Children’s Hospital Nerissa Bauer states “Parents are very powerful role models and children will mimic the behavior of parents, wanting to be like them. They may believe that violence is OK and they can use it with peers. After all, they may think, ‘If Daddy can do this, perhaps I can hit this kid to get my way.’ When parents engage in violence, children may assume violence is the right way to do thing.”

Data from the study was drawn from the ongoing Seattle Social Development Project and the Intergenerational Projects, tracing youth development and social/ antisocial behavior. “Participants in these long-term studies were recruited from Seattle elementary schools, and 808 students (generation 2), their parents (generation 1) and their children (generation 3) have been followed since 1985.” The study looked at the behavior of 112 children form the third generation between the ages of six and thirteen, ages who are not normally studied in bullying research.

The study particularly focused on partner violence which is a broader term for domestic violence, physical, emotional or sexual acts of violence including couples who aren’t married or living together.  In 2000 a federal study showed an estimate between 3.3 and 10 million children are exposed to intimate partner violence.

The study found that seeing domestic violence does not lead to children becoming bullies. “Physicians and teachers should be sensitive that when children display behavior issues that the possibility of domestic violence in the family exists. Not all children exposed to violence will respond in the same way, but there are many indirect effects and problems that you can see, such as engaging in bullying, not being able to make friends, not eating or those with extended school absences. But not all bullies come from violent families.”  Bauer stated.

This study shows that in some cases children who are exposed to domestic violence may become aggressive toward other children. It is hard to determine what constitutes at home abuse and effectively take statistics of the children who bully that were also victims of bullying at home. But it shows that children who are exposed to at home violence may be more likely to become aggressive towards others.

References

Schwarz, J. (2006, September 12). Violence in the home leads to higher rates of childhood bullying. Retrieved March 22, 2018, from https://www.washington.edu/news/2006/09/12/violence-in-the-home-leads-to-higher-rates-of-childhood-bullying/

What is Child Abuse. Retrieved March 20, 2018, from https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/

 

Robust Verbs – DudeInTheBack

People are welcome to walk into the hospital when in need of care, but not all will be treated equally due to the individual’s disadvantages or advantages. It’s not that doctors are biased towards the patients. It is very seldom that the first priority of the doctors is not the well-being of patients, yet why is there an unequal amount of treatment among people of different groups such as race, income, and social class? By analyzing surveys taken by patients, there is no doubt health disparities are apparent in hospitals. The problem of that roots back to the patient’s privilege. One of the privileges of people with wealth is the ability to communicate more effectively, and though communication between doctors and patients is often overlooked by people, it makes a huge influence on the doctor’s decisions and performance. Therefore, people with strong communication skills are usually able to get the most out of the doctor’s abilities.

Robust Verbs- LBirch

Heroin addicts in Vancover are committing to support their habit. The “free heroin for addicts” program is stopping addicts from commiting crimes. Addicts cannot do daily routines, such as interact with people or do a job. Users will steal and break into houses to get the money for these drugs. But this program will not cure the users addiction, it is only being used to drop the city’s crime rate. This program will keep addicts off the street and out of the hospital as well. Clean and sanitized equipment will replace the unsanitized ones, also keeping hospitals free from unneeded visits. The addiction will not be lost, however the program will keep the city clean.

Causal Argument- paTricKStar123

Are Colleges doing enough to help with Students mental health issues

College is a place where we go to further enhance our education. This is where students come to learn more about themselves and choose their career paths for the future. This set environment could be very intimidating. For most students they go to dorm to gain the experience of living on their own. while this may seem fun and exciting many leave their families and friends and come to college only knowing a handful of people. there are many stressors  that come with college. While some may argue that stress is a normal life process that everyone goes through. the only difference that people fail to mention is that there are two different types of stressors. The first is called Challenge stressors or commonly known as Eustress. This is the stress that pushes you to reach your goals and go past your limits. The second type of stress is what we most commonly think of when we hear the term stress, which is distress or hindrance stressor. This stress causes you to have internal conflict and may hinder you from focusing. this is why it is very important to understand the difference between the two. Yet, many Students fail to understand this and put themselves in greater mental and physical risk.

“According to a 2013 American Psychological Association survey, about one-third of college students have experienced depression within the past year and had difficulty functioning because of it.” The main mental health issues mentioned in studies are anxiety and depression. in a study conducted at community colleges reported many other mental health issues that most college fail to mention and treat. Students reported  bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, substance abuse or addiction, and “other addictions.” Most college advertise their counseling services in the beginning , before school starts around orientation period. As a Student who went to both community college and a traditional university i can say community colleges fail to even mention this. Through a whole semester of taking classes i have not had any health services or clubs. The reason i believe so is because of the budget community colleges have. Also the majority of Community college students are commuters and do not live on campus.  Even so, Just because It is a Community College they should still offer some sort of treatment just incase students need help. although it is understandable students may need someone to talk to and with these interpersonal actions it makes Students who do need help struggle more and possibly put them at risk of dropping out.

The traditional colleges offer mental health counseling but really only say things about about counseling during the orientation after that nothing else. Universities fail to tell students how they can cope with stress and don’t explain how you can distinguish between Eustress and Distress. instead, they warn you about substances you may encounter and give numbers for services to call but the problem is many Students are nervous and don’t want to feel weird about going to having problems. With the expensive tuition College students pay don’t you believe they deserve the accommodations to be able to live a good life and be able to focus on their futures.

I believe universities and community colleges should hold this at top priority. Students can try to cope with their stress by practicing mindfulness. They can practice meditation, while mindfulness can be difficult to achieve and results vary from person to person, it can help students remain focused and calm. the way mindfulness can help is for students who used negative coping methods such as self harm, substance and alcohol abuse, or even have bad reoccurring thoughts , it can allow you to change your personality and curve your impulses. “This suggests that for individuals who observe in a non-reactive manner, observation may relate to lower levels of substance use.”

 

References

Bowen, S. (03/2014). Relationship between dispositional mindfulness and substance use: Findings from a clinical sampleElsevier.10.1016/j.addbeh.2013.10.026

Katz, D. (2013). Community college student mental health: A comparative analysis (Order No. 3572817). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (1434835907). Retrieved from http://ezproxy.rowan.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/1434835907?accountid=13605

Moise, G. (2014). Good stress or bad stress? relationships between stress appraisals and strains in health care practitioners (Order No. 3630437). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (1563382680). Retrieved from http://ezproxy.rowan.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/1563382680?accountid=13605

 

Robust Verbs- Ugandanknuckles

The “free heroin for addicts” program in Vancouver is doing everything they can to stop addicts, but some are still committing crimes to support their habits. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of their high usage of drugs. Heroin users will do whatever they can to get their hands on the drug, from breaking and entering to stealing. This program isn’t helping ween addicts off of heroin, it’s only trying to save the city from rising crime rates. Although this helps keep heroin users out of the hospital, it is pointless to have hospitals deal with people that want to use drugs or unsanitary needles as they are unable to afford the hospital bills. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible, but this will only help fix the city, not the addictions these people face.

Robust Verbs-Dohertyk9

“There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.”

 

1. “There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.”

The Problem: “There is” is used in this sentence. Also, the sentence in general sounds very weak and doesn’t seem to add much to the argument. Personally, I would not even include a sentence like this in my own essay. It seems to make a claim that the rest of the essay should make obvious.

The Fix: In Vancouver, high crime rates result from heroin addicts’ need to feed their own addictions.

DSH: Completely agree. I wouldn’t use it at all. The weakest sentences say something IS. And the weakest of THOSE say something obvious IS. 

2. “The ‘free heroin for addicts’ program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.”

The Problem: There doesn’t seem to be anything inherently wrong with the sentence, it just seems to make a very obvious claim. One would hope that the “free heroin for addicts” program would try to stop the addicts.

The Fix: Although the “free heroin for addicts” program is actively seeking a solution, there is no easy fix for the problem.

DSH: I like your sentence, but you might be taking too much for granted. At least one sentence will be needed to explain that giving heroin to addicts eliminates their need to rob and steal to feed their habits.

3. “The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

The Problem: “The problem is” essentially sounds the same as “There is”. The writer then further bores the reader with “there is”. Instead of putting in such a useless bunch of words, the writer should eliminate them altogether.

The Fix: A high crime rate exists due to the addicts’ need to afford the costly drug.

DSH: Completely agree with your analysis so far. But then: compare your Sentence 1 with your Sentence 3. They’re virtually identical. Name the high cost of the drug in Sentence 1 and you’re done.

4.  “It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

The Problem: Why put “it is obvious that” when it can be cut out completely? In fact, the whole statement should be cut out, if it truly is obvious.

The Fix: Daily lives of addicts are made difficult by their obsession with heroin.

DSH: You’re completely right, but you’re beginning a pattern of passive constructions. What’s the true subject of this sentence: “daily lives” or “obsession with heroin”? As in: Addiction interferes with daily life?

5. “Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.”

The Problem: The previous sentence already said that daily life is hard. This is simply repetitive. Instead, the writer should focus on how the symptoms affect the individual’s life.

The Fix: Addicts have a general apathy for every day life outside of their addiction, which often results in termination of their career, hostility in existing relationships and an increasing distance from other people.

DSH: Fantastic work. And yes, you can eliminate Sentence 4 if this is your Sentence 5. 

6. “By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.”

The Problem: “By heroin users being addicted” just sounds wrong. Also, it’s obvious that because they are addicts, they are addicted.

The Fix: Addicted heroin users will commit any crime necessary to attain the drug.

DSH: “By heroin users being addicted” sounds wrong for a reason. It’s wrong. There’s no legal grammar construction in which the By can be followed by the subject. It would be stupid but grammatically correct to say here: “By being addicted, heroin users . . . ” followed by something else they do.

7. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.”

The Problem: This wording is awkward. I would rephrase it.

The Fix: Theft and even breaking and entering are not beyond the scope of a desperate addict’s potential infractions.

DSH: Much more effective but also very wordy. If combined with Sentence 6, it could be rendered simply: “Desperate addicts resort to muggings or breaking into houses and cars.”

8. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.”

The Problem: “There are” is used again here. Also this sentence is almost the exact same sentence as the previous one, “…they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.”

The Fix: No limits exist to an addict; the drug always comes first.

DSH: You’re very good at recognizing the repetitions. I’m hopeful that in a final draft you would eliminate them. (You’ve created a weak “IS” sentence, in the negative. No limits exist.) 

9. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.”

The Problem: There isn’t anything particularly wrong with this sentence, it simply lacks interest. Also “The problem with” can be taken out.

The Fix: Despite seeking to keep heroin users off the streets by offering a free, safe method of attaining the drug, the program does not actually help users to stop their addiction.

DSH: Might I suggest the briefer: Despite keeping users off the streets by providing free, safe access to the drug, the program does not reduce addiction.

10: “It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.”

The Problem: “It is” is used. Also, “that they’re up to” sounds awkward.

The Fix: The sole purpose of the program is to lower the city’s crime rates.

DSH: Yeah. 

11. “By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.”

The Problem: “By providing the drug” simply sounds awkward. Also, it states that providing the drug “will prevent them from committing minor street crimes”. None of these “minor street crimes” have been mentioned; only theft and breaking and entering were mentioned, which aren’t usually considered to be minor.

The Fix: Because the drug is free and accessible through the program, crime will not be necessary for users to attain it.

DSH: This “By” sentence is even worse than the first one. By misplacing the modifier, it claims that addicts provide the drug. You’re right to get rid of it. Identify again the true subject of your sentence. Is it crime? The program? The addicts?  

12. “This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.”

The Problem: There is nothing particularly wrong with this statement, it simply could have been attached to the previous statement.

The Fix: If heroin addicts receive the drug from this program instead of from drug dealers, they will be safer and therefore will require far fewer visits to the hospital.

DSH: Completely agree. I look forward to the sentence in which you combine the claims.

13. “It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.”

The Problem: “It is” is used. Also, the sentence is simply poorly written.

The Fix: Hospitals should not need to handle patients that have brought illness upon themselves that could have been avoided through the program, especially when patients cannot afford the bills and have intense withdrawals.

DSH: Good so far. I wonder if “Hospitals should not have to absorb the high cost of treating withdrawal” would be a smoother way to start.

14. “This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible.”

The Problem: This sentence seems fine, but fine is boring.

The Fix: The program ensures that addicts have access to free heroin and clean needles, which is far safer than any other place the addicts could get the drug from.

DSH: Completely agree. The heroin is clean too, free of often poisonous impurities that contaminate street drugs. 

15. “This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.”

The Problem: This sentence lacks interest.

The Fix: The program creates a safer city, but lends no support to the people that are hopelessly addicted to heroin.

DSH: Vast improvement.

The Resulting Paragraph: In Vancouver, high crime rates result from heroin addicts’ need to feed their own addictions. Addicts steal and break into houses and cars for money to buy heroin. The “free heroin for addicts” program provides clean, safe heroin to addicts to prevent them from seeking it on the streets and committing crime to attain it. If heroin addicts receive the drug from this program instead of from drug dealers, they will be safer and therefore will require far fewer visits to the hospital. Hospitals should not be burdened with patients who suffer intense withdrawals and require costly treatment that the patients cannot afford to repay. The program may lower crime rates, but it does nothing to reduce addiction. Addicts have a general apathy for everyday life outside of their addiction, which often results in termination of their career, hostility in existing relationships, and an increasing distance from other people. The program creates a safer city, but lends no support to the people that are hopelessly addicted to heroin.

 

(I have cut out sentence 3 because even reworded, it seemed unnecessary.)
DSH: Good call. Several other opportunities to eliminate or combine sentences remain.

 

 

Robust Verbs – picklerick

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

 

 

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

Problem: Weak “there is” clause. Stating that this is a problem is unnecessary and steals from the more powerful point of the sentence.

Fix: Remove the “there is” clause and focus on the main point of the sentence.

Heroin addicts in Vancouver are committing crimes to support their habits.

 

The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

Problem: The word “addicts” was used in the last sentence

Fix: Use “them instead to make it less repetitive.

The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything in their power to stop them.

 

The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

Problem: Weak “there is” clause. Can combine with prev. sentence

Fix: Remove the clause, reword the sentence.

because they’re causing crime rates to skyrocket.

 

It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

Problem: Weak “it is” clause. No need for two sentences for one claim.

Fix: Combine these sentences with the necessary information.

This addiction affects an excess of daily activities in an addict’s life; jobs, interactions, and relationships are all prone to suffer.

 

By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

Problem: The wording is hard to follow. These two sentences can be combined.

Fix: Reword and combine the two sentences.

Users will do whatever they can to get their hands on more heroin, even breaking and entering, and stealing.

 

There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

Problem: Weak “there are” clause

Fix: Remove the clause

They will go anywhere at all to retrieve this drug.

 

The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

Problem: Weak “is” clause. Two sentences for one claim.

Fix: Reword and combine sentences.

Instead of helping wean the addicts off heroin, this program is only focused on saving the city’s crime rates.

 

By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

Problem: Weak phrase, “which in turn will”. Unspecified “them” pronoun. Sentences can be combined. “The hospital” doesn’t really make sense.

Fix: Remove the phrase. Specify “them”. Combine sentences. Change “the hospital” to “hospitals”

By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, preventing the addicts from committing minor street crimes and keeping them out of hospitals.

 

It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

Problem: Weak “it is” clause. “unsanitary needles” and “hard to cope without the drug” is unnecessary information.

Fix: Remove “it is” clause and remove unnecessary information.

These hospitals shouldn’t have to deal with addicts who are unable to afford hospital bills.

 

This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Problem: phrase, “in turn” unnecessary

Fix: Remove the phrase.

This will fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

 

Heroin addicts in Vancouver are committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything in their power to stop them because they’re causing crime rates to skyrocket. This addiction affects an excess of daily activities in an addict’s life; jobs, interactions, and relationships are all prone to suffer. Users will do whatever they can to get their hands on more heroin, even breaking and entering, and stealing. They will go anywhere at all to retrieve this drug. Instead of helping wean the addicts off heroin, this program is only focused on saving the city’s crime rates. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, preventing the addicts from committing minor street crimes and keeping them out of hospitals. These hospitals shouldn’t have to deal with addicts who are unable to afford hospital bills. This will fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

Robust Subjects and Verbs – summergirl1999

Robust Subjects and Verbs

Vancouver is encountering a huge problem due to heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The large crime rate is due to the addicts. Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. Heroin users tend to do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. Popular crimes committed by the addicts are breaking and entering and stealing.  There are no limits to where the addicts will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The programs problem is that it does not help ween these addicts off using heroin, the program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. Programs providing the drug can lead the addicts to clear off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. Drug programs will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. There is not a need for hospitals to have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles, especially when the addicts find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills. The Drug program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible, to fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.


You’ve made a fair start, SummerGirl, and I appreciate that you posted first to give me a chance for feedback all can share.

I’ve numbered the goals for the assignment here:

  1. Eliminate repetitious material
  2. Combine closely related sentences into fluent, single sentences
  3. Eliminate There is / There are (etc.)
  4. Eliminate It is / They are (etc.)
  5. Eliminate Because of the fact that / due to the fact that
  6. Eliminate wordiness like The problem with this situation is . . . .
  7. Fix flawed “By verbing . . .” sentences
  8. Eliminate needless “types of,” “kinds of,” “sort of” language
  9. Repair pronouns that have unclear antecedents
  10. Choose the most Robust Subjects and Verbs.
  11. Introduce a striking visual image or illustration.
  12. Make every sentence a short argument.

Here I’ve broken your text into sections with recommendations to do additional editing to meet the numbered goals:
In addition, red highlights indicate grammar or punctuation problems.

(5): Vancouver is encountering a huge problem due to heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

(9): The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

(5)(1): The large crime rate is due to the addicts.

(1)(2): Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

(1)(2): Heroin users tend to do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. Popular crimes committed by the addicts are breaking and entering and stealing.

(3)(6): There are no limits to where the addicts will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

(6): The programs problem is that it does not help ween these addicts off using heroin, the program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

(2): Programs providing the drug can lead the addicts to clear off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. Drug programs will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

(3)(6)(1): There is not a need for hospitals to have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles, especially when the addicts find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills.

The Drug program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible, to fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.


Here, I’ve made some edits to demonstrate ways to meet the goals:

In Vancouver, heroin addicts used to commit nuisance crimes to support their habits.

The “free heroin for addicts” program is preventing those crimes.

The large crime rate is due to the addicts.

Addiction interferes with employment and routine daily tasks.

Without a steady supply, addicts will rob, steal, and mug good citizens to feed their addictions.

There are no limits to where the addicts will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

The program does not ween addicts from heroin; it only reduces the crime rate.

By providing the addicts clean heroin, the program discourages street crime and keeps addicts out of hospitals.

Clean dispensaries replace bad drugs and unsanitary needles. They also relieve hospitals from unreimbursed emergency room visits.

It doesn’t break the addicts’ habits, but by providing heroin safely, the program does mitigate the problems associated with addiction.


Give it another try for the practice of making strong sentences, SummerGirl. Work on the more ambitious goals if you have the stamina for it.

You can post a second version below these comments. And thank you again for this opportunity to set the bar high. 

Causal Argument- DoubleA

Turf fields do have a direct impact on the increase in injuries we see in the NFL. 13 out of 32 stadiums sport an artificial turf material and even with less than half the number of fields of grass there is still more injuries on turf. An article written about the statistics of injuries on turf and grass fields from all the games from 2000-2009 found that there is a 22% increase in knee sprains on turf and a 67% increase in number of ACL sprains.

With this being said what exactly is the material the players are playing on? Field turf was a huge hit in the late 90s and most teams sport it now a days on their fields. The catch is though that the traction is so good with the new technology cleats that it is even easier to get a cleat stuck in the turf when you plant or cut.

We saw a prime example of this in 2017 when Bears tight end Zach Miller went to just plant while running from a defender and his knee bent the completely wrong when his knee just got caught up in the turf. It sparked a huge debate about the traction that turf causes while playing because Miller almost lost his leg due to the injury.

A study done in the late 90s tested a number of cleats from manufacturers and found that most cleats cause a safety implication because of how good the cleats react with the turf. The study suggested that people where turf cleats but as we all know no football players where them they all wear football cleats. Maybe the NFL can work on new cleat technology but for now safety precautions should be in effect after horrific injuries like Millers’.

Knee sprains are caused by unnatural movements during physical activity. Sudden turns or pivoting can cause injury to your ligaments. When these players get that much traction and that much body weight on a cut in the turf their body and knees cannot handle the pressure and force so they give in on them. It’s a tragic thing to see. It is almost like you can’t watch a game without being scared every play someone can get hurt and their season can end on one play.

In 2010 a doctor by the name of Dr. Geier was asked a question on his blog about knee injuries. The question was

My question for you is do you think playing on turf field compared to regular grass has an impact on injuries? Our varsity football team practices on grass field and play more than half of their games on turf. We had 3 meniscus injuries on the turf fields. Two were medial and one lateral; all 3 were repair. Also had a tibia/fibula fracture without impact. When asking the injured kids what they thought about the turf they all said it feels like their cleats stick into the ground.

This question and evaluation was brought in by a random blogger named Gino who must play high school football.

The thing about Gino is the answer he received from the doctor was that it was the same results we talked about earlier 22% increase and 67% increase. He used the same study from earlier. Here is what he said:

In a study performed by the National Football League Injury and Safety Panel, published in the October 2012 issue of the American Journal of Sports Medicine, Elliott B. Hershman et al. reviewed injury data from NFL games played between 2000 and 2009.They found that the injury rate of knee sprains as a whole was 22% higher on FieldTurf than on natural grass. While MCL sprains did not occur at a rate significantly higher than on grass, rates of ACL sprains were 67% higher on FieldTurf.

There is obviously a clear correlation between turf and injuries. Yes it was 3 kids in high school games but Dr. Geier flat out gave him results from a study done by the NFL and there was increases in knee sprains to the ACL and knee sprains total. Knee sprains are overlooked in the NFL and some players have to get surgery done multiple times throughout their careers due to sprains and tears.

I for one encountered my own injury on turf during a game where I played on turf. Of course the one play I get put in at running back to run a jet sweep at the receiver position I tear my MCL. I just see it happening all over the place. Football is filled with injuries and at all levels but at the NFL level there is no doubt an increase of knee injuries on turf.

Rebuttal Argument- DoubleA

Arguments Against Grass Fields in the NFL

People tend to believe that artificial turf fields are better surfaces to play on because they look nice. Great, they look nice and you think you look good, you play good, right? Well all that doesn’t matter when you take one cut on the turf surface and your knee buckles and you’re down on the turf crying for the trainer.

The biggest refutation to my hypothesis of grass fields being safer than turf fields is of course that grass fields are more dangerous. This seems obvious to a lot of people grass fields are choppy and unkempt. Well this isn’t the case for NFL stadiums. They literally hire people to keep the field in great playing conditions.

Opposers will also say that there is just too much maintenance into it. In order to keep fields polished and playable you hire a grounds crew to take care of it throughout the weather conditions and the toll of an NFL season. Baseball has all grass fields besides a couple and they are taken care of daily. Also, baseball field grass is changed and replaced a lot so that it is nicely kept and there is not a lot of patchy holes in the grass which can cause injury. With field turf you have to worry about maintenance as well and there is always a grey area on when you should replace the turf because even with turf you have to fix the patchy spots because they get worn down.

In an article written about the Houston Texans. Texans cornerback D.J. Swearinger talked about the awful field conditions at NRG stadium. They have turf square panels that get put in for every game. They essentially have seams in them as would Astroturf and everyone knows how awful Astroturf was to play on. Swearinger says in the article, “We actually said that the day before (the injury). If somebody was running right here and (they) plant, their ACL or MCL is gone just because of how deep the holes are.” Swearinger is referring to an injury that happened to top pick Jadeveon Clowney. Clowney was running for a tackle and got his leg caught in a seam and twisted his knee the wrong way and tore his meniscus.

People may also say that grass can get real cold in areas like Minnesota and Green Bay. Yes, this is true, and it is almost like you are playing on bricks but in Minnesota they just installed nice turf and first game of the year top pick Dalvin Cook tears his ACL cutting non contact on the turf. Injuries like this are popping up everywhere. There is no reason why you cannot sport some nice Bermuda grass is a dome stadium. It doesn’t make you cooler to have turf in your billion dollar dome, what matters is player safety. Players all over the league past and present have questioned player safety with concussions. Knee injuries are the second most occurring injury in the NFL and they require surgery and months of rehab, the time to speak up is now.

NRG Stadium’s Playing Surface An ‘Abomination’