Visual Rewrite- jsoccer5

Keep your EYES on the Road

[0:00] The opening sense is a young boy getting into the driver seat of an older car. You can instantly tell this is not going to be a car ad ass the car is older and not knew and shiny. The boy is wearing a dark blue t-shirt and jeans. He is Caucasian and has short dark hair. He looks clean and well kept. You can tell that he is a middle class boy, he doesn’t have tons of money but he is also not completely poor. He looks like he is in high school or early college. When getting into this older car, something similar to an 1989 ford Lincoln, he has his cell phone in his hand it and looks as if he is texting someone probably his friend or a girl as he is slightly smiling. His cell phone looks to be some type of smart phone again reassuring that he is middle class.

[0:01- 0:03] The boy takes his right hand and reaches across his body for the buckle and buckles himself. This entire time he does not take his eyes off his phone, which is in his left hand. It is clear that he is overly submersed in his phone and seems like he drives often as he does this entire motion without even thinking about it.

[0:04-0:05] The boy is now adjusting the rear view mirror with his right hand but never looks up from his phone which continues to be in his left hand to see where he is adjusting the mirror. He moves the mirror about twice. By him moving the mirror when getting in there is a chance that he is not the only one who drives the car and probably shares the car with a sibling. The car seems too older for his parent to be driving so he wouldn’t share it with them.

[0:06-0:07] the boy now takes his right hand and reaches for the keys which are in the ignition and starts the car turning the keys forward. He continues to look only at his phone in his left hand. He again seems like he drives often and can do all of this without thinking about it and it is complete muscle memory. Also you can tell who ever he is talking to he is thoroughly enjoying the conversation he is having as he cannot look up from the phone.

[0:08-0:09] The boy reaches up for the shifter which is places behind the steering wheel on the right side. He pulls it down and puts the car into gear. He continues to look at the phone in his left hand the entire time.

[0:10] The boys right hand now transitions onto the top of the steering wheel and he lends back into a comfortable position while still viewing his phone. He seems like he is trying to impress the other person on the other side of the screen maybe thinking he is talking to a girl.

[0:11] The still image of the boy in the car in a laid back position with his right hand on the top of the steering wheel and his head slanted downwards towards his phone in his left hand fades slowly to the background. Big red letters that spell the word STOP in all capital letters appear across the screen. By the letters being red it is clear it catches your attention to pay attention to those words. Red is a statement color and attracts the attention of a person, making it hard to look away. By the word being stop it creates a sense of wonder if the director is talking to the watcher or the boy in the car.

[0:12-0:14] An image of an iguana appears the screen. The iguana’s eyes are moving all around looking in multiple different directions . The words Can you do this? Appear along the bottom of the screen in white. The words can you do this are referring to the iguanas eyes being able to move completely around viewing everything around them looking in two completely different directions. Again you are unsure if the words can you do this are referring to the boy or the viewer however it seems it is addressing both people.

[0:15-0:16] The camera goes back to the boy in the car but is now zoomed in on the boy’s face. The camera shows from his chest up. The phone is now in his right hand held up higher in front of his face. His left hand is on the steering wheel. He is attempting to move his eyes around the same way the iguana was from the previous screen. The boy has a strange smirk on his face but also expresses a sense of confusion. The boy realizes he cannot do what the iguana does and seems confused by who is asking him to do this as well as why.

[0:17]The screen is the same as the prior one except for the word No? in white appears on the bottom of the screen. The director again is addressing both the driver and the viewer as the director wants you to imagine being in the boys shoes. He is saying no referring to being able rolling they eyes and is asking the question rhetorically.

[0:18] The boy now looks completely away from his phone and shrugs his shoulders, suggesting he is the answering the question asked and is saying I don’t know. The grin is still on his face and the word No? is still on the screen. He also now turns his head to face the camera on the right side of his body as if he is looking for direction of what top do know and is showing prompt attention to the viewer as the director. The director has these question screens pulling the boys attention away from the phone, insulating what the director is asking is more important than that phone.

[0:19] The camera slowly fades out showing the majority of the car and the boy through the passenger side window. By the camera zooming out showing the whole car insulates there is more important things then what is in the car and when driving you are affecting more than just you. The boy takes the phone which is in his right hand and tosses it up and it lands in the passenger seat, which shows the boy doesn’t care much about the phone anymore and realizes there is more important things in life then driving and texting. He then looks forward as if he is about to drive.

[0:20] the car drives out of the screen from the left to right, showing he is on the way to his destination and is completely paying attention to what is going on around him.

[0:21] the screen now shows a picture of the woods with a short wooden fence along the side of the road appears and the words Then DON’T text and drive. appear in the front of the screen. The letters are in white and the only letters in capital are DON’T and the T in then. The background is the background after the car leaves showing that he has left and got the messages he should not text and drive. By the director saying DON”T in all capital letters it puts an intense emphasis on that you should not do it.

[0:22] The screen fades to black, as if the ad is over.

[0:23- 0:26] Then words Keep both EYES on the road. Appear on the black screen. They are in a blueish, greenish colored collage fading from one to the other as if its the skin of the iguana. The word EYES is in all caps insulting that your eyes are the most important part of driving is looking and paying constant attention.

[0:27-0:29] The screen now transitions into the same black screen with yellow dash marks going through the bottom of the screen mimicking the road.  In the middle of the screen “STOPTEXTSSTOPWRECKS.ORG” appears. The letters are all in caps and STOP is in yellow while the rest is in white, showing that stop is the most important part of the phrase. On the left side of the dash marks the words project yellow light area with a traffic sign and below that Ad councils symbol appears. On the right side of the dash marks appears NOYS in blue and under that is NHTSA with a symbol along that in the beginning, showing all the afflicting organizations with this movement and add.

Moving Image – theshiftyyman

  • 0:00-0:01 The Ad starts of in an ambulance with two injured men inside along with a male and a female EMT. One of the men is more seriously hurt and is being attended to by the EMT’s. The camera then focuses in on the man who is less injured’s face. He looks extremely upset as if he knew the man on the table and he was close. Their injuries look like ones that would be consistent with a car accident.
  • 0:03-0:08 The man on the table beings to die as the EMT’s struggle to save him. The less injured man begins to calm down slightly and starts talking to himself. He seems to be trying to put his mind at ease about something. He then begins to sob once again even more than before. His body language suggested that he was talking to try and forgive himself or justify something he did. He then realized that he couldn’t and began to cry again.
  • 0:09-0:16 The man begins to cry and he puts his face in his hand. The EMT’s then look at up at him and stop working on the man on the table. The look at him surprised. It looked like he said something that offended them since they stopped working. The EMT’s were focused on their patient, but then in response to what that less injured man said they stopped working and looked at him. The male EMT then said something back to the less injured man and after he said it his body relaxed and he seemed calm. Now it seemed that what the man said put the EMT’s at ease.
  • 0:17-0:19 The patient on the table who was dying sits up and begins to speak. This event that would clearly be shocking and perhaps frightening doesn’t seem to stun anybody in the ambulance. The man shot up and was miraculously healed, and unless one of the EMT’s was Jesus this would be am upsetting event. This could also suggest that the mans injuries weren’t to serious because of what the other less injured man said. Maybe what the less injured man said had something to do with the seriousness of the accident they were in.
  • 0:22-0:25 After the man has been sitting up the camera focuses on the faces of everyone and there is a general sense of calmness coming from their facial expressions. It seems like everything is okay or that nothing really happened. The more injured mans face is still badly cut and he is wearing a neck brace. He is however talking and is very calm and sitting upright. Then suddenly the man drops down on the table again and the EMT’s again being to work on him. All of the sudden he’s dying again and the less injured man is again crying hysterically. It seems like the situation is back to reality and everything that is supposed to happen is happening all over again.
  • 0:26-0:31 The less injured man is crying again and the other man is dying, while the EMT’s try and save his life. As everything is going down a message pops up that says, “Buzzed driving is drunk driving”. This message clarifies that everything that went down was a result of drunk driving. It can be assumed that the less injured man was the driver, while the other man was a passenger. The less injured man was crying out of guilt because he was drunk driving, and his friend got hurt as a result. He must have said something along the line of “i was just buzzed” when he spoke midway. Then the EMT’s must have responded and gave the impression that the more injured man was fine. Then that same man sat up to indicate that he really was. However this was not the reality, and once this was realized every part of the situation went back to normal. It was to prove that just because you were just buzzed doesn’t mean that the consequences are any less severe. That is where the add gets all of its power and meaning.

“Let’s Take Action”

Moving Image – theshiftyyman

Visual Rewrite-Prof2020

Don’t Set Yourself Back

  • (0:00-0:01)-The first shot shows a man doing pushups in a dreary, semi-lit room. His hair is medium brown and of medium length but looks clean and well groomed. He is fair skinned and his face is showing some stubble but whether that is done on purpose is unclear. He looks to be somewhere in his twenties but no older than early thirties.
  • (0:02-0:05)-The second shot shows the same man sitting up against a wall in the same room. This picture reveals he is wearing blue jeans, a short sleeved, white, crewneck t-shirt and dark socks. He seems at ease in a relaxed position, throwing playing cards into an empty coffee can. However, his facial expression shows signs of boredom and frustration like he’s trying to pass the time. Why not leave the room? Or is he not allowed to? A doleful song is played on a harmonica in the background.
  • (0:05-0:07)-The following shots show the man staring longingly at two photos. The first is a photo of a really nice, shiny, black, old sports car in a driveway. Is it his? The second photo is of a pretty, dark haired woman with fair skin and a soft smile. She looks to be close to his age. She’s only shown from the elbows up. What’s the relationship between the man and woman? Were they together at some point? Where is she now?
  • (0:08-0:12)-In next few shots, the man is shown playing a harmonica, stacking matchsticks, and crossing days off an empty calendar with a sharpie, after which he drops his head against the calendar in defeat. These reinforce the idea of boredom and loneliness.
  • (0:13-0:15)-He is now sitting on the floor up against what looks like a bed and his bouncing something off the wall in front of him. It’s probably a ball of some kind but isn’t made clear. This makes a thumping noise. From the position and angle of the trees outside the window we can see he’s most likely in a room on an upper floor. The design of the window implies that he’s in a house or apartment, some kind of residential building. The leaves have fallen from the branches and the bark looks light and dry. It gives the impression that it’s also getting colder or coming out of a colder season.
  • (0:17-0:20)-It seems the noise has attracted some attention as an older woman, probably in her forties or early fifties, opens the door carrying a woven laundry basket. She’s dressed in a floral blouse and tan cardigan. Her outfit and the laundry basket imply she lives in the house and his doing some housekeeping. Her hair is dark brown and cropped short. Her expression appears frustrated and she sternly tells the man in the room to “knock it off.” He replies “sorry mom.”
  • (0:20-0:22)-A wider shot reveals this has all taken place in what looks like a teenage boy’s bedroom. There are posters decorating the walls and several sports trophies are on display throughout the room. It’s implied that this is the man’s bedroom. However, we must ask why it looks as if it’s inhabited by a boy about half his age.
  • (0:22-0:25)The man then picks himself up from the floor and promptly flops onto the small twin bed behind him in defeat.
  • (0:22-0:31)As the ad ends, the words “Buzzed, Busted, Broke” flash across the screen with red and blue police lights and a siren blaring behind them. The purpose of the ad is to appeal to people from a financial viewpoint. Being arrested for driving while even slightly intoxicated can result in high fines and legal fees. It’s implied that the man was arrested for “buzzed” driving and had to pay the fines and legal fees which made him “broke.” He’s now living back at home with a woman we presume to be his mother.

Safer Saws- ballsohard83

1A. Manufacturers

When you’re cutting wood if you accidentally put your hand into the blade, it’ll stop it so quickly that you just get a little cut instead of taking some fingers completely off.

1B. Another saw could cut your fingers off, but this saw will stop before you have the chance to accidentally do so.

1C. This is a factual claim saying if your put  your hand into the blade it causes it to stop.

1D. This claim is accurate and proved in the video it was taken from.  Because of the visual proof, it is logical and persuasive. the claim seems very normal and it does not seem very convincing at all there is no proof in the sentence.

2A. Customer

the technology works works well but the major tool companies have failed to put this kind of device on any of their table saws and even eight years after Gass offered to license it to them it still doesn’t click .

2B. This claims states that tool companies did not put the Saw Stop technology in their saws even though it works.

2C. This claim is a factual claim.

2D. This claim shows that even though Gass invented this technology that could possibly reduce table saw injuries he hasn’t convinced major tool companies that they need his technology. There are three factual claims in this one sentence.

3A. Manufacturers

A PTI JV has developed a flesh sensing technology that reacts faster to  humans flesh near the blade and also has a lower replacement cost of firing, and decreases injury to a greater degree when compared to the Saw Stop technology.

3B. This sentence has three claims. These three claims challenge three aspects of Gass’s technology.

3C. This is a proposal claim.

3D. This claim tries to show that they have created a faster reacting, cheaper, and safer technology than Gass. With this claim Gass’s technology could help the manufacturers.

4A. Injured Plaintiffs

“I think the manufacturers should think less about cost, but more about people who are using the saws.”

4B. This sentence claims that manufacturers should worry about the people who are injured by their table saws instead of worrying about the cost of the saws.

4C. This is a opinionated claim.

4D. This claim gives a  prospective from a person injured by a saw without Saw Stop, someone who want’s companies to introduce Saw Stop to their table saws so they can prevent more injuries. Companies are worrying more about money and less about safety.

 

 

5A. Personal Injury Lawyers

Although SawStop safety technology has been around for more than ten years, not all table saw manufacturers have adopted it.

5B. Some manufacturers have just looked past this SawStop technology as if it has been around for some time but some have took advantage of this tool.

5C. This is a factual evaluation, stating that SawStop has been available and evaluating how not all manufacturers have adopted it.

5D. This claim is okay overall, but it could be more specific. How many years has SawStop been around? Which manufacturers have adopted it? Which haven’t? For something factual it doesn’t actually give concrete facts, but what it does give is accurate. The lack of specificity makes it less persuasive than it could be, but it gets the point across.

6A. Steve Gass himself

I’m gonna put this hot dog on top of the board here, as if it was my thumb misplaced in the path of the blade.

6B. Steve Gass presented a demonstration of him showing exactly how the technology  works.

6C. This is a proposal claim.

6D. Steve Gass spoke about his demonstration. He explained how his technology worked. In a later demonstration he took it a notch further and used his actual finger to show his confidence in his technology.

7A. Government Officials

The benefits of improving table saw safety clearly outweigh the costs.

7B. This is a proposal claim working for table saw safety.

7D. This is a very straightforward claim, but it doesn’t give specifics on how the benefits outweigh the costs. One can’t do that in one short sentence, so I can assume that the proof will appear later. It is logical to assume what the claim states; safety is usually the best option. The word “clearly” eliminates any doubts in the readers’ minds; this is the only way to go. It is persuasive in that way, giving the sense that the author’s way is the only way. It is very straightforward and convincing overall.

8A. Amputees

“I lost a finger and half the use of my hand in a table saw accident the cost of a cartridge a new blade is well worth having that safety.”

8B. This claim states that the cost of losing a finger is much greater than the cost of replacing broken pieces on a table saw.

8C. This is a factual claim.

8D. The cost of replacing a broken blade and cartridge is around $160, which is a big difference form the hundred thousands of dollars spent on medical bills after a table saw accident. It would be stupid for someone who would choose thousands of dollars when they only have to spend a couple hundred.

Open Strong-31Savage

America has a overpopulated prison system due to the mass incarcerations of people, mostly whom are people of color. America is known for being a free country, but we are responsible for almost 25 percent of the world’s prison population while only accounting for 5 percent of the world’s population. This 25 percent is because of law’s past to send people to prison and keep them there. These law’s where designed to send a vast amount of people to prison majority of them are people of color. Some prisons make profits form their overcrowded populations. These profits can influence bad decisions made by our government. This is a problem that need’s to change.  Many American’s over look this problem and it’s time to bring it to their attention.

Blind Summary- brobeanfarms

1. True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
2. True/ Reasonable/ Right
3. True/ Reasonable/ Right
4. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
5. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
6. True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
7. True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
8. True/ Reasonable/ Right
9. False/ Reasonable/ Wrong
10. True/ Reasonable/ Right
11. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
12. True/ Reasonable/ Right
13.False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
14. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
15. True/ Reasonable/ Right
16. False/ Unreasonable/ Right
17. False/ Unreasonable/ Right
18. True/ Reasonable/ Good
19. True/ Reasonable/ Good
20. True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
21. True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
22. True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
23. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
24. True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
25. True/ Reasonable/ Right
26. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
27. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
28. True/ Reasonable/ Right
29. True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
30. True/ Unreasonable/ Right
31. Likely/ Reasonable/ Right
32. True/ Reasonable/ Right
33. False/ Reasonable/ Wrong
34. False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
35. True/ Reasonable/ Right
35.) True/ Reasonable/ Right
36.) True/ Reasonable/ Right
37.) False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
38.) True/ Reasonable/ Right
39.) True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
40.) True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
41.) False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
42.) True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
43.) False/ Unreasonable/ Right
44.) False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
45.) False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
46.) True/ Reasonable/ Wrong
47.) True/ Reasonable/ Right
48.) True/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
49.) False/ Unreasonable/ Wrong
50.) False/ Reasonable/ Right

Blind Summary:

In today’s society, radiology is a rapidly growing field of study with a high demand. The problem, however, is directed towards radiologists who study mammograms. The number of false readings is alarming high, leaving numerous women across the nation very concerned when it comes to screenings. Radiologists are expected to be elite in their field of study and they are currently not meeting the publics expectations in standards. This is a nation wide problem and fear in need of a resolution.

Open Strong- brobeanfarms

Ever wonder what the biggest unsolved mystery is to this date? It is not the moon, or outer space, and it is certainly not the ocean. This biggest mystery is the human brain. How does our brain function, what allows it to retain memory, or even control us? Ever since the existence of the human race, the human brain has been heavily studied, but one question still remains. What exactly is Alzheimer’s Disease? It is a mysterious dteerrioating disease of the brain. To further explain what this disease is, we will look into what causes it, how it progresses, and what can be done to treat, prevent or even cure it.

What is the physical make up and compound of our brain? The way it functions is mysterious, and the way it progresses is astonishing. Through the study of the brain, there is still one aspect of it that has gone unanswered; what exactly is the deteriorating brain disease Alzheimer’s? Numerous studies have been conducted of such a disease, but everything about it remains skeptical. Through these studies, we will learn what part of the brain is affected, who is at a higher risk of developing this disease, and how does this disease progress over time.

Blind Summary-theshocker69

Mammograms may be one of the most important and most utilized medical procedure utilized by women to avoid breast cancer. However, many doctors do not have the ability to be sure about the diagnosis that they give to their patients. Following the mammogram, if the tumor is malignant, the patient is sent for a biopsy to ensure it is malignant. If there is no tumor spotted then the patient leaves and continues their lives. For this reason, many women leave the hospital after receiving a false negative; unknowing of the cancer growing inside of them. For this reason, we need smarter routes of ensuring accurate mammogram results.

Blind Summary- jsoccer5

Women get mammograms everyday, and many are often read correctly however there are some that either get a false negative or false positive. There has also been lots of times where statistics have been posted in regards to the accuracy of mammogram readings, which has left a negative effect on many people. Dr. Adock was a doctor who came up with a way to handle the testing situation at hand, but once his volume dropped he took himself off the team. Some doctors are now seeing repercussions for their poor readings. Many women now choose not to get mammogram tested either because of scary testing results, or statistics posted.

Blind Summary-Phillyfan321

The results of a mammogram are usually accurate, but the results may not be properly analyzed. A false positive can mean that someone will have to go have an unnecessary biopsy and a false negative can mean someone will have breast cancer unnoticed. Not treating breast cancer at an early stage can result in serious health problems. While many women do have regular mammograms, there are still women who end up having later stages of breast cancer due to mistakes in reading the mammogram results.