Parents have total obligations to give to their child, a child has no obligations to their parents unless negotiated between the two. A parent and child negotiation may take place when the child is old enough to do chorus for their parents and in return the child may earn allowance. When raising a child with disabilities it can be different the parents still have all obligations of caring for the child but will the disabled child ever have a negotiation with their parents to have obligations of their own? Here is a view of a four member house hold, two patents and two children and one child is disabled. All members of the family dedicate time to taking care of the disabled child, and most often the dedicated time gets pushed on the able sibling. Parents make negotiations with the able child to care for their sibling and may get allowance in return. Parents have other things important things in life such as work and having a personal life. The able sibling tries to have a personal life but it is hard and seems unfair. The able child thinks life is unfair because they have a huge obligation while the disable child thinks life is unfair because all they can do is receive and can do nothing in return and wishing they were able body like their sibling. Both siblings are in tough situations, they may feel like they are stuck for the rest of their lives.
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Rowan Counterintuitive 
And in fact they are stuck. And that heartbreaking conclusion is the crucial central altogether meaningful focus of what I hope will be an essay that kills you to write but that feels completely cathartic when you’re finished.
If you’re even braver than that, consider this common appreciation spoken by adults whose families included a disabled child. “The siblings developed an uncommon generosity and compassion through giving service to their less fortunate brother or sister,” or, “They are better adults as a result of their sibling’s disability,” or, “The family pulled together to face a challenge and learned to cooperate beyond what most family’s experience.”
Those platitudes are understandable. They’re the effort of observers inside and outside the family to find the silver lining. They’re well meaning. They have the ring of truth. But they’re often just pretty lies, aren’t they? They mask the resentments the cut across the generations. They paper over the pain. They come much to close to suggesting that the disability was a good thing, don’t they? Look how beautifully the children turned out! Ask the disabled child if she thinks the sacrifice was “worth it.” She had a life of reduced capacity so that everybody else in the family could feel proud of how they handled things.
You haven’t done much of the work so far here, PDQ, but I’m hopeful. I sense you want to accomplish something meaningful with your essay and not simply toss off a paper with a few sources. You need to start reading broadly and not THINKING for gods sake; that never got anybody anywhere. You need to start WRITING your thoughts in your White Paper where I can see what you’re up to and interfere.
Get moving. The semester is getting old.
I would appreciate your Reply, here, soon, as a gesture of your commitment.
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