0:01. As the scene opens up, we see a partial view of the back of a black jeep appearing to be old and worn out, maybe from the early nineties? The top is also completely removed from the vehicle. To the left of the spare tire, there is a magnet featuring a white silhouette of a beast and under it are the words “I believe.” The Jeep appears to be travelling down a dirt road in an arid environment. The sky is covered in gray clouds to which are shielding most of the sunlight making everything appear gray.
The camera pans out to reveal the driver of the Jeep. The only thing you can see is the back of the driver. He is wearing an akubra style hat with the brim wrapping all the way around the hat, he is also wearing a brown leather jacket, suggesting he is some sort of explorer.
0:02-3. We are now sitting in the passenger seat of the Jeep viewing the air freshener dangling from the rearview mirror. It is in the shape of a beast walking on two legs covered in brown fur.
0:04. We look down into the vehicle from overhead. There are brown colored binoculars laying on top of a large map on the passenger seat. Facing screen up on the binoculars is an iPhone.
This is the first time we see the interior of the vehicle. The gauges are all in the center of the dashboard and again the seem to be very old and non-digital. There are also a pair of work gloves on the floor of the passenger side.
0:05-6. The phone screen illuminates with a text from someone. We now see the driver’s face for the first time. He is very young probably aging between twenty-two and twenty-five years old. He wears expensive-looking glasses. The driver takes his eyes off the road and turns his attention to his cell-phone on the passenger seat.
0:07-9. Text appears on a black screen stating “The average text takes your eyes off the road for 5 seconds.”
0:10-11. The driver is now reading his texts while driving . The person said “Are you still hunting bigfoot?” So now we have confirmed that the beast that the driver has all over his car is indeed bigfoot and the driver is looking for the mythical creature.
0:12-14. The vehicle is driving straight towards the camera still on the road. The license plate reads “BF HTR” which could only mean ‘bigfoot hunter.’ The driver is still looking at his phone while bigfoot walks in front of the camera and all you see is his from his chest to his torso. The vehicle nearly strikes bigfoot as he walks across the rode but the driver does not notice the creature.
0:15. There is a close up of the cell phone and the driver finishes the text, sends it, and places the phone back on the passenger seat.
0:16-18. We see the driver from the eyes of the figurative passenger and he is intently looking at the surrounding area indicating he is searching for bigfoot.
0:19-22. The audience looks at the vehicle travelling along the road as if they were in the woods looking out towards the road. The words “Just enough time to miss Bigfoot” are across the top of the screen. Then we see the familiar body of Bigfoot walk across the screen one more time.
0:23-25. The screen fades to black and the words “And so much more…” are displayed on the screen. The filmmaker is clearly referring to the possibility of a fatal accident due to texting and driving.
0:26-30. A website is now on the screen called ‘stoptextsstopwrecks.org’ this confirms that this is a no texting and driving ad.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
Thank you, ChandlerBing. Your post arrived a few minutes late for “advance feedback” prior to our midnight deadline. I want to spend the rest of my Sunday (and most of the overnight) doing feedback on your Stone Money posts, but if I can find a few minutes to react to your first draft here, I promise I will. Thank you for providing the link to your video. I’ve placed it after the text in your post.
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Questions I have after watching the video and reading your description, ChandlerBing.
1. How does the filmmaker indicate “old and worn out”? If you had to name the ways in which this information appears, what would you say? Or, to put it another way, suppose the Jeep had to be altered to make it appear older just before the shoot. Which visible details would the prop manager have added to “age and use-up” the vehicle? Those are the details your reader needs in order to fully visualize the scene. Your job is to convey those details.
2. Details are part of the job. Conclusions are another. You said the scene was arid, but the second view of the jeep shows it splashing through a puddle in a thin woods set in green grass. Draw some conclusions from the age of the vehicle. The fact that it is not “beautifully” maintained. How long hasconclusions from the age of the vehicle. The fact that it is not “beautifully” maintained. How long has the driver owned it, in your opinion? Can you conclude from that detail how long he’s been hunting Bigfoot? Is he in familiar territory or a new location? Can anything be determined from the relative age/condition/costliness of his glasses/binoculars/jeep/phone?
3. How fast is the jeep moving throughout the video? Does it change speeds? Whatever its speed when Bigfoot crosses in front of the vehicle, why did the director choose that speed?
4. How long is the screen dark? The onscreen message says reading a text takes eyes off the road for 5 seconds. Does it illustrate how long 5 seconds is? That would be pretty clever since the audience is held in the dramatic tension of wondering whether the jeep will strike the hairy pedestrian.
5. Describe Bigfoot. Is he a terrifying monster that deserves to be struck and killed by a careless explorer? Or is he more of a charming doofus loping through the brush that a mother could love and mourn?
See where this is going, Chandler?
As always, responding to these questions is classwork. Those who engage are more likely to be generously graded. Make the most of this opportunity.
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I’m not seeing your Stone Money post on the blog, ChandlerBing. If you’re having trouble, reach out, please. Early delinquencies can quickly spiral into real trouble.
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