A06: Visual Rewrite – aaspiringwriter


The ad starts in the middle of a scene, where we are put behind the counter of a diner with a quick zooming back of the camera. The footage looks a bit dull and faded with minimal washed out colours, makes you feel as if it’s a home recorded video or some low-budget film, that is recorded for a real purpose.

Looking at the marble countertop before us, it seems as if the footage was taken perhaps from the kitchen or the service window. This is made clear as some ketchup bottles, sugar server, menu holders seen somewhat closer to the camera along with empty glasses kept upside down in a tray and a red top bottle of Angostura bitters, commonly used as a cocktail flavour.

On the counter are two young boys (one black, one white) sitting with a man. Both young boys are dressed in similar sport jerseys. The man is wearing a white T-shirt and a black Jacket and it appears to be gym clothes with a lanyard hanging around his neck. Probably a whistle hangs from it. This could mean he is a school coach and may be asking the two young boys to finish their food by repeatedly pointing at their plate. Maybe he doesn’t want the food to be wasted. The man looks to be in his mid 30’s and the two boys appears to be about 10-12years old.

Behind the three at the counter, there is another man and a woman also looks to be around their mid 30’s, occupy opposite sides on another table discussing something. It appears as if they are all sitting in a diner. The framed artwork hangs on the wall by the couple is a black and white photo of an urban street scene.

The camera zoomed in on the right face profile of the man, who turns to his right and starts talking. He has long sideburns. It is possible that someone is sitting next to him. He has a very comforting smile on his face. Maybe he is talking to a close-friend or relative.

Another young white boy approximately of same age as the other two boys, covers the frame with a wide smile on his face, rather feeling ticklish by the man’s hand moving around on his head, making him lean towards the man. He has very short blond looking hair and a very pretty smile on his face. He is wearing the same V-neck sport jersey as the other two young boys, as if they all belong to a same team. The coach seems to be teasing him in a friendly way. The kid has a wide smile on his face and is nodding his head as the coach is patting the kids head and talking to him. Their gestures appear to be really friendly and looks like they have known each other for a long time. They could be father and son.

There is a sudden change in the boy’s expression. His smile gradually disappears as he looks to be in some doubt due to some loud bang, followed by loud talking heard as if someone slammed their hand right on the table that moved all the glass items. He turns around with fear on his face, and looks on to the table behind them. This is when the frame is fully covered with a woman sitting just behind their table, with blonde, curly sort of short hair. She is wearing an ivory shirt. The woman quickly turns her head towards the boy and notices the boy staring her. She feels embarrassed and turns her head away from the boy toward the man sitting opposite him, who seems to be doing some loud talking.

The man comes in the frame again, with his right face profile as he was looking at young boy. He then grinds his teeth as if he has a hint of what’s about to happen after being disturbed by the bang on table followed by some loud talking. It appears if he is a bit disappointed of the whole situation. He looks down at his plate with displeasure on his face, he sighs as he picks up a fry off his plates and slowly eats it. It appears as if he is trying to avoid some situation.

With a slight zoom out in the camera this time, shows the man and the young white boy sitting on his left, along with the couple sitting behind their table. Both the man and white boy turn around in doubt to see the man and women sitting on the table behind them opposite to each other. The urban street artwork is also seen, right in the centre on the wall by the couples table. The man, with his left face profile slightly towards the camera and the young boy with his head fully turned around toward the couple are seen, as they try to figure out the ongoing scene between the couple. They see that the man has tightly grabbed the women’s hand with a look of anger on his face as he is pointing his index finger on his other hand towards her, still talking as loud. It appears as if they are arguing over something and he is shouting at her. The woman still feeling embarrassed about the whole situation and wanting it to stop. Next frame fully covers the man accompanied by the three young boys, looking away somewhere, thinking what to do as he grinds his teeth again with his mouth shut this time.

A question pops up with a black background.
“When do you get involved?”

The coach is in the frame again for some split seconds. The frame quickly keeps on switching between the two different ongoing scenarios. One is where the coach is sitting down thinking about the behaviour of the man on the other table towards his woman. Thinking whether he should get up and interrupt or let it be on the couple to be sorted on their own. The second switching frame shows different physical actions being performed by the man on the woman as she tries to resist, still wanting him to stop and calm down. The man is being somewhat violent and showing aggressive behaviour by pulling her by shirt and snatching her hair, wanting her to get up and leave the table as she keeps on resisting. The coach is still thinking something. And soon after, another question pops up with a black background. The question says “Now? “. This is quickly followed by a very violent reaction from the man, he hits the woman right in her face as she was resisting to leave the table and wanting him to stop, trying to get his hands off her. The coach is still thinking as the same question pops on the screen again “Now?”.

This time the camera is fully focused on the kid who was initially smiling, now completely frightened by the angry man’s behaviour. His face is full of fear, as he looks very uncomfortable, scared, disgusted, helpless. He is sympathetic towards that women. He is sad and uneasy and it looks like he is about to cry. It feels as if he wants to do something to stop this physical abuse. He looks at his coach in despair, hoping he would do something to stop this. He just wants someone to stop this. Then a sentence pops up with the kid in the background. The sentence says “The best time to get involved is Now.”

Another sentence shows up on the screen, “Teach boys that violence against women is wrong.” While the frightened young boy is still seen in the background.

Again the black background pops up with words fading in – “Teach Early. Call 800-End-Abuse.”

The End

The advertisement conveys a really strong message on Violence against women. It shows the importance of teaching your kids the difference between the right and the wrong. Every adult is responsible for stopping this kind of behaviour. They should stand against it and teach their kids the same. Violence against women is wrong. Violence against anyone is wrong. Stand against the abuse and end it.

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