Heroin addicts cause a huge problem in Vancouver by committing crimes to support their habits. To stop the addicts, Vancouver created a program “free heroin for addicts” which does everything it can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because they are using. Addicted heroin users will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. Feeding their addictions has no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug. This program won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. The program only tries to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. Providing the drug to these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.
One thought on “Robust Verbs – collegegirl”
You’ve done a lot of good work in your first few sentences, CollegeGirl, but you could do more.
Notice that you 1) say there’s a problem, then 2) the problem is there is a large crime rate? Any way you could just say there’s a high crime rate without having to identify it as a problem either time? I mean, a high crime rate is pretty obviously a problem.
That’s a radical change that might be the result of more than one round of revisions, but it’s encouraged.
Score so far 2/3
Put into the Grade Please category if you decide to revise, CollegeGirl