Robust Verbs–Splash305

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

A huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem with the large crime rate is due to the rising rate of addicts. This group is trying to make it obvious how addicts have a problem getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships with people are hard to maintain for those under the influence of drugs. Heroin users who are very addicted, will do whatever it takes get their hands on drugs. The types of crimes committed for example are breaking an entering and stealing. When it comes to addicts, limits to how far they will go to retrieve the drug to feed their addiction does not exist. This program’s problem is not helping by weening these addicts off of using heroin. By removing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital because of their use of drugs. It’s pointless for hospitals to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or use unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills, and having a hard time coping without the drug. This program is giving people free heroin in the cleanest way possible in hopes to keep them off the street. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face everyday.

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2 Responses to Robust Verbs–Splash305

  1. davidbdale says:

    You’re writing fragments, Splash. They’re never legal. (Poets can break the rule, but not student essay writers. Sorry.)

    A huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything to stop the addicts. The problem with the large crime rate is due to the addicts. Trying to make it obvious addicts have a problem getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain from the use of drugs. Heroin users being addicted, will do whatever it takes get their hands on drugs. Types of crimes committed for example are breaking and entering and stealing. With addicts, limits to how far they will go to retrieve the drug to feed their addiction does not exist. This programs problem is not helping by weening these addicts off using heroin. By removing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It’s pointless for hospitals to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills, and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

    Score so far 1/3
    Put into the Grade Please category if you revise.
    (Also, please feel free to radically change the syntax. These sentences feel entirely unnatural, likely because you were trying to FIX someone else’s sentence instead of writing your own.)

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  2. davidbdale says:

    Splash, you’re too respectful of the original text, which is wordy, sloppy, and amateurish at best. Good editors are ruthless. Sharpen your knife and do some radical surgery.

    A huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

    That’s still a fragment.

    The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

    Here you use both singular and plural pronouns to refer to the same thing. The program can’t be BOTH singular (is doing) and plural (they can).

    Heroin users who are very addicted, will do whatever it takes get their hands on drugs. The types of crimes committed for example are breaking an entering and stealing. When it comes to addicts, limits to how far they will go to retrieve the drug to feed their addiction does not exist.

    These sentences contain a really obvious repetition. Is anything missing from this version?

    Heroin addicts know no limits. They’ll break and enter, mug and rob for money to feed their addictions.

    Put this back into Grade Please if you do a radical rewrite, Splash.

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