Robust Verbs—todayistheday19

Vancouver, alarmed by high crime rates, decided to institute a program that provides addicts with free heroin. Heroin addicts indulge in criminal activity to feed their addiction. Heroin addicts clog the hospitals when they plunge dirty needles into their veins. Free heroin keeps addicts from committing crimes to pay for their addiction. The program eliminates hospital traffic by providing clean needles.

One thought on “Robust Verbs—todayistheday19”

  1. By far the best version of this exercise I have ever seen, TodayIsTheDay!
    Ready for Round Two?

    —Of the two things Vancouver did (instituting a program, and deciding to institute a program), which is the one worth declaring?
    —You undercut your narrative with your second sentence, which sounds like a failure of the program you announce in the first.
    —If Vancouver reduced crime rates by instituting a program, then the crimes addicts commit could be presented as what they used to do more often.
    —Vary your sentence structure as a final improvement. Four of your fives sentences share a Subject-Verb-Phrase structure. Addicts-Indulge-To, Addicts-Clog-When, Heroin-Keeps-To, Program-Eliminates-By.

    Vancouver, alarmed by high crime rates, decided to institute a program that provides addicts with free heroin. Heroin addicts indulge in criminal activity to feed their addiction. Heroin addicts clog the hospitals when they plunge dirty needles into their veins. Free heroin keeps addicts from committing crimes to pay for their addiction. The program eliminates hospital traffic by providing clean needles.

    Score so far 3/3.
    You could earn the bonus 4th point with a revision. Put this into the Grade Please category if you revise.

    Like

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