Visual Rewrite- NewEditionLover

0:01- The first visual rhetoric simply starts off by a man in bed. Next he’s in bed with his eyes closed so it gives me an impression that he’s sleeping.

0:02- He appears to be up but simultaneously try’s to play sleep and wants to suddenly dash out of the home while everyone is sleeping. From the looks of the video the kid in this visual rhetoric appears to look like an young adult I would probably say that he is white or Italian or something of that nature. You can tell that he’s full layered and that can be fully weird for viewer’s because you usually don’t sleep in your bed with outside clothing items on.

-0:03 – By the end of the 3rd second, it’s really obvious that the lights are all wrong for sleeping. The light across the pillow is much brighter than most people would choose for bedtime. We don’t know what that means yet, but as viewers we do wonder what might be going on. Bright light from somewhere below his feet is casting deep shadows on his face from the blanket. Even his eyebrows are casting shadows onto his forehead. So strong light in the room might make it hard for anyone to fall asleep. Again. Perhaps he’s faking sleep. But, if so, he’s not a good liar. Turning off the lights would have been more convincing. One more thing. He doesn’t look like an actor. He looks like a kid from school who might be an amateur, not a made-up professional. We’re not sure what that means, but we do notice it.

0:04- He immediately jumps out of bed maybe he was having a terrible dream that it caused him to be scared.  Could he possibly have spilled something ? Or maybe he as others once waking up hes just utterly confused.. Also as he just woke up he might be a christian and the first thing some do is wake up and read the bible for thinking God for another day.Or maybe he was drinking about water that made him have to pee while he was asleep. Or the guy in the video may be in school and his alarm goes off which is supposed to wake him up.

0:05 – Hes leaning over his bed as if hes looking for something possibly his cell phone

0:06-  He immediately grabs his cell phone ! He may have something planned or maybe hes late for school!

0:07- He receives a text saying “where are you?” he might have a meeting set up ? or his friends might be worried that hes late for school and they have something planned in class like an assignment or big test or quiz .

0:08 -0:09 – He responds saying “i’m on my way ”  which implies to me whoever hes texting is pretty concerned with the well-being of him. With a look of almost being worried as if hes seen a ghost.

0:10- He abruptly gets up in a sort of rush and panic !

0:11-0:12- He heads into the kitchen in a kind of fast paste motion as if hes in some sort of trouble

0:13- On this second It looks to me as his mother calls him back in the house while hes reaching for the door. Maybe the mother instinct kicked in as she watched her son walk out the door as it looks late outside.

0:14 Next his mom must of asked him where he was going at this time of the night which it appears to be very dark, maybe telling her son that she cooked dinner and made him a plate which might be in the microwave by now.

0:15- She has a look in her eyes that she doesn’t want her son going out because of how late it is.

0:16-18- He then gets out the house after he rushes his mom that he has somewhere important to be.

0:19- He immediately jumps in the car and slams the door

0:20-0:22- Hes in his car driving which appears to be on a long dark road, He seems as though hes impatient and focused on the road.

0:23- He suddenly takes his eyes off the road checking his cell phone in quickness and agony. Maybe the same person who texted him when he was awakened in sleep wants to know again where hes at?

0:24- As he appeared to look down at his phone he suddenly looks back up to the road maybe he swerved in the other lane and their is a car approaching in the same direction as him. Or maybe an animal such as a deer jumps out in the middle of the road and almost hits his car.

0:25-0:26- He puts his arm up as he abruptly swerves on the other side of the road as a car is approaching him , hes scared and panicking and maybe thinking of life or death situations because of his texting and driving actions.

0:27-0:29- With both hands on the wheel hes trying to stay calm and focused on keeping the car leveled and to make sure he doesn’t crash into anything. His level of trying to gain control of the car again plays a huge part considering its his fault why hes in the predicament hes in now.

0:30- He gets control of the wheel and comes back to his senses. His eyes are as if he has seen a ghost receiving a text saying “dude hurry up”. A bright light appears as if it can be another cars high-beams or as if its a slight vision telling him what to do.

 

 

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9 Responses to Visual Rewrite- NewEditionLover

  1. davidbdale says:

    I’m going to say this one more time, NewEditionLover. You are the only Author who has not heard me say, perhaps ten times, that you need to remove your post from the “123 I am so so so so sorry I keep forgetting to uncheck this default category” category. Every time I leave you a note about this, and the situation doesn’t change, I grow a little more weary of leaving you notes that you ignore. If I have to do all the work in this relationship, I fear for your success.

    Now, for the work. We spent considerable class time discovering together that every detail of a 30-second video made by a professional with resources was DELIBERATE and reflected a CHOICE that was designed to PERSUADE us of an ARGUMENT. Your job, in analyzing the video, is to determine what the filmmaker intends to communicate in every frame. Since your reader cannot see the video you’re describing, she’s completely at your mercy. You need to tell her everything she needs to know to visualize the scene you’re watching. You have to convey the mood, the atmosphere, the seriousness level, the specificity or generality, of the images as they unfold. You are engaged in an argument. The filmmaker is trying to convince you to believe something, to want something, to do something. Your job is to identify the filmmaker’s PURPOSE, analyze the TECHNIQUES he uses to convince you, and CRITIQUE his effectiveness.

    Let’s see how well you do that for the first three second of the video you chose.

    0:01-0:03 – The first visual rhetoric simply starts off by a man in bed. Next hes in bed with his eyes closed so it gives me an impression that hes sleeping.

    Now, I haven’t seen the video, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to find it. You didn’t link to it as I asked you to do, so I will have to search for it to see if I can be of any help here, but I can’t imagine that there’s nothing more to say about the first three seconds of a video (that runs only 30 seconds) than that “a man is sleeping in bed.” Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll go search for the video now.

    This is probably it.

    Paste this into your post, please, NewEditionLover

    Now, I’ll watch the first 3 seconds and see if there’s anything to convey about the filmmaker’s Visual Rhetoric.

    0:01. For the first second of the video, we see a very blurry, out-of-focus image of a young man sleeping in bed. The shot is of his face. He is lying on his back, apparently in bed, with his head on a pillow.

    We judge this to be the case since it’s the most likely thing we can conclude from the image we see. He may be outdoors, or in a tent, or lying on a picnic table with a tablecloth instead of a blanket at his neck for all we know, but until we see some evidence of that, we conclude he’s sleeping in his own bed.

    The camera is moving in toward his face as the focus improves, indicating he is clearly the most important element in this introduction. We judge him to be a young male from his short haircut and the leanness of his face, but we could be surprised to discover that these judgments are incorrect. Toward the end of the first second, we notice a faint mustache. So he’s either deliberately sporting facial hair, or he’s been asleep for a VERY long time and hasn’t shaved.

    Just this first second gives the impression that it might be a short film. Its effect is impressionistic. News footage would have started in focus. An ad for a car, or for food, or for almost anything, would have started with a character in an immediately recognizable situation. So this is either a movie, or a dramatic TV show, or an ad for something other than a commercial consumer product.

    0:02. By the end of the second second, we’ve pretty much confirmed our early predictions. This is a young man (a little pimply? maybe Hispanic?), lying in a bed on a pillow beneath a blanket pulled to his chin. But it’s also apparent he’s wearing a top garment with a neck, unlike a t-shirt. It might be a button-down shirt with a collar. It could be a jacket. Judging from the black and white fabrics visible, he might be wearing two garments: a jacket and a shirt? That’s a bit mysterious. Clothed sleepers usually have passed out on top of the covers. Most sleepers don’t get under the blanket still dressed. So, whatever else is going on, this young man either went to bed without thinking about what he was doing, or has some reason for wearing clothes to sleep. He’s a teen. Maybe he wants to scam his parents into thinking he’s down for the night when in fact he’s planning to get up again. Perhaps he’s just feigning sleep, knowing he’ll be observed, hoping to sneak out while everyone else is asleep.

    0:03. By the end of the 3rd second, it’s really obvious that the lights are all wrong for sleeping. The light across the pillow is much brighter than most people would choose for bedtime. We don’t know what that means yet, but as viewers we do wonder what might be going on. Bright light from somewhere below his feet is casting deep shadows on his face from the blanket. Even his eyebrows are casting shadows onto his forehead. So strong light in the room might make it hard for anyone to fall asleep. Again. Perhaps he’s faking sleep. But, if so, he’s not a good liar. Turning off the lights would have been more convincing. One more thing. He doesn’t look like an actor. He looks like a kid from school who might be an amateur, not a made-up professional. We’re not sure what that means, but we do notice it.

    Do you get the idea, NewEditionLover? Bring all your analysis skills to this project, please. Assume that every detail is deliberate, could have been otherwise, and serves a purpose. Tell us everything. What you see. How it could have been, but isn’t. Why the filmmaker made these choices. What the choices mean. And finally, whether you think the choices (and the execution) were effective.

    Respond this time, please.

    Like

  2. davidbdale says:

    I see that your method for Revising Your Work is to copy and paste my notes into your own post so that they look like your own work.

    Like

    • neweditionlover says:

      No professor that was not my intentions I thought the whole purpose for feedback was to write exactly what you stated when giving instructions on fixing it .

      Like

      • davidbdale says:

        I’m sorry you misunderstood. My intention was to demonstrate the level of detail needed to do a good visual analysis. My hope was that after seeing how much you had missed from the first few seconds, you would apply that lesson to the rest of the video, which you did not alter. but you still called it a rewrite, which it clearly is not, except for what I rewrote.

        Like

  3. neweditionlover says:

    Shall i rewrite it ? Sorry for misunderstanding the concept

    Like

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