0:01- A dark grey or black colored CJ-7 Jeep shows up on screen. It is sporting a spare tire. The driver is wearing a large black hat and warm cloths. The soft top is off of the Jeep but it looks cold out. A sticker with an ape is on the back next to the spare tire. The sky is gloomy and the person is going off roading. It is either later in the day or early in the morning based on the sky.
0:03- The film cuts to the front windshield looking out on the hood. On the center mirror, a bigfoot cut out is hung. The Jeep is going over bumps because the cut out is swinging.
0:04- The Jeep is confirmed to be a CJ-7 based on the head lights it sports. Their is stock fog lights on the bumper and the licence plate is white with black lettering. The plate reads BF-THR. The Jeep is completely stock except for the ugly chrome windshield hinges. The woods is gloomy and a light bit of fog is rolling across the ground.
0:05- The camera angle is above the Jeep. The Jeep is a manual 5 speed without the center council. The shifter nob is black and its in 3rd gear. That means it is not moving fast, at most 35mph. On the stock bucket seat, there is a map, a pair of binoculars, and an iphone. In the passenger floor well, are a pair of dirty work gloves. The floor well does not appear to be rusted out, a typical problem with this Jeep model. The Jeep seems to be in good condition. The driver is wearing warm cloths. A message comes up on the screen of the phone.
0:10- The camera is acting as the eyes of the driver. The driver looks down at this phone and unlocks it to view the message. He does not seem to look up while driving. Being unsafe.
0:14- The Jeep is barreling down the trail and the leaf springs on the Jeep and the shocks are pretty stiff. Meaning that they were replaced not to long ago. The driver is looking down at his phone not paying attention. A hairy creature walks out in front of the Jeep dodging the SUV.
0:16- The driver types a message on his Iphone, not paying attention to the trail.
0:17- The driver looks forward, watching the road. He did not see the hairy creature. He missed the encounter with whatever the creature was.
0:18- A message appears on the screen, “Just enough time to miss bigfoot”
0:20 Bigfoot walks infront of the screen as the Jeep continues to drive down the path.
0:23 “And so much more” comes up on the screen.
The purpose of this video is to show that a lot of things can happen or be missed when using a cellphone while driving. The producer of the video shows how being distracted can effect ones life in may ways.
One thought on “Visual Rewrite— Killroy513”
Killroy, you’ve made revisions to this post since your A02. For the most part, they are details that indicate your knowledge of the Jeep. While impressive, they add nothing to your reader’s understanding of the RHETORICAL value of this VISUAL. Your job in the post is to describe what your reader sees well enough to persuade her of the filmmaker’s INTENTIONS. What is the argument value of showing viewers that the driver has recently replaced his shocks and/or repaired his suspension? Is it that he has been driving so long and hard over tough terrain that he needed to do needed repairs? Or is it that he’s extraordinarily conscientious about the safety of his vehicle, or the comfort of his ride? In either case, does he make these repairs AT THE COST of ignoring the cosmetic improvements that his “beat up” vehicle needs? Does it indicate his character, in other words, as someone who values performance over mere appearance?
Remember, the filmmaker is making an argument. Every decision is deliberate. The details could always be OTHER than they are. So, since every detail reflects a rhetorical choice to serve a particular purpose, what do you think these choices MEAN? Why is his Jeep beat up but sports new shocks? Why does Bigfoot looks the way he does, of the many ways he COULD look?
I hope this is helpful, Killroy. I thought I was making the same point in my feedback to your A02.