Visual Rhetoric-Killroy513

0:01- A dark colored CJ-7 Jeep shows up on screen. It is sporting a spare tire. The driver is wearing a large black hat. The soft top is off of the Jeep but it looks cold out. A sticker with an ape is on the back next to the spare tire. The sky is gloomy and the person is going off roading.

0:03- The film cuts to the front windshield looking out on the hood. On the center mirror, a bigfoot cut out is hung. The Jeep is going over bumps because the cut out is swinging.

0:04- The Jeep is confirmed to be a CJ-7 based on the head lights it sports. The woods is gloomy and a light bit of fog is rolling across the ground.

0:05- The camera angle is above the Jeep. The Jeep is manual without the center council. On the seat is a map, a pair of binoculars, and an iphone. In the passenger floor well, are a pair of dirty work gloves. The driver is wearing warm cloths. A message comes up on the screen of the phone.

0:10- The camera is acting as the eyes of the driver. The driver looks down at this phone and unlocks it to view the message.

0:14- The Jeep is barreling down the trail and the driver is looking down at his phone. A hairy creature walks out in front of the Jeep dodging the SUV.

0:16- The driver types a message.

0:17- The driver looks forward, watching the road. He did not see the hairy creature.

0:18-  A message appears on the screen, “Just enough time to miss bigfoot”

0:20 Bigfoot walks infront of the screen as the Jeep continues to drive down the path.

0:23 “And so much more” comes up on the screen.

2 thoughts on “Visual Rhetoric-Killroy513”

  1. Killroy, I appreciate that you’ve asked for feedback on this early draft. I have to tell you it doesn’t begin to provide the level of detail the assignment requires.

    You’re not the first of your classmates to receive feedback on this particular video. I’ve already written the following list of observations on the post of another:

    1. How does the filmmaker indicate “old and worn out”? If you had to name the ways in which this information appears, what would you say? Or, to put it another way, suppose the Jeep had to be altered to make it appear older just before the shoot. Which visible details would the prop manager have added to “age and use-up” the vehicle? Those are the details your reader needs in order to fully visualize the scene. Your job is to convey those details.
    2. Details are part of the job. Conclusions are another. You said the scene was arid, but the second view of the jeep shows it splashing through a puddle in a thin woods set in green grass. Draw some conclusions from the age of the vehicle. The fact that it is not “beautifully” maintained. How long has the driver owned it, in your opinion? Can you conclude from that detail how long he’s been hunting Bigfoot? Is he in familiar territory or a new location? Can anything be determined from the relative age/condition/costliness of his glasses/binoculars/jeep/phone?
    3. How fast is the jeep moving throughout the video? Does it change speeds? Whatever its speed when Bigfoot crosses in front of the vehicle, why did the director choose that speed?
    4. How long is the screen dark? The onscreen message says reading a text takes eyes off the road for 5 seconds. Does it illustrate how long 5 seconds is? That would be pretty clever since the audience is held in the dramatic tension of wondering whether the jeep will strike the hairy pedestrian.
    5. Describe Bigfoot. Is he a terrifying monster that deserves to be struck and killed by a careless explorer? Or is he more of a charming doofus loping through the brush that a mother could love and mourn?

    You offer different details than your classmate, and therefore my questions for you are not the same, but they come from the same underlying reaction that I’m not getting a sense of purpose from your explanations. Why is the Jeep a CJ-7? Who are we with? What can you tell me about the driver? What has caused him to take this path through the woods on a bad road? What is the mood of the first few seconds of the video? Is there foreboding? Will danger lurk? When Bigfoot appears, is he (she?) the hulking monster of nightmares or a goofy Monsters Inc. costume? WHY?

    Don’t just answer those questions, Killroy. They’re samples of the dozens of observations you might have made, should still make. Dig in. Speculate. Draw conclusions. The filmmaker wants to manipulate your reactions to what you’re seeing. Does it work? Etc., Etc., Etc.

    Please respond in detail so I’ll know you’ve read these notes. Thanks.

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