Robust Verbs – scarletthief

Heroin addicts committing crimes – such as mugging, burglary, and prostitution – to support their habits generates a huge problem in Vancouver. The “free heroin for addicts” program dedicates itself to stopping the addicts from having to commit these crimes. Many undergo a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Maintaining daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships because their main priority is obtaining and using heroin. This addiction causes heroin users to do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug and feed their addiction. However, the “free heroin for addicts” program won’t help to ween these addicts off heroin.The program only helps to lower the city’s crime rates. Providing the drug to addicts keeps them from resorting to minor street crimes to get more heroin. Because the drug is administered in the cleanest way possible, heroin addicts avoid needing to go to the hospital after using bad drugs or unsanitary needles. They often cannot afford hospital bills. Although the crime rate in Vancouver recovers from their efforts, the main problem, heroin addiction remains unresolved.

 

4 thoughts on “Robust Verbs – scarletthief”

  1. Heroin addicts committing crimes – such as mugging, burglary, and prostitution – to support their habits is a huge problem in Vancouver.

    You did your best to include the powerful material here, Scarlet, but your Subject is “committing” and your verb is “is.” There must be a better verb than that.

    The “free heroin for addicts” program does everything it can to stop the addicts from having to commit these crimes.

    Program does. Is that the best it can be?

    Many addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

    Addicts have.

    Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because their main priority is obtaining and using heroin.

    Activities are.

    Etcetera.
    This addiction causes heroin users to do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug and feed their addiction. However, the “free heroin for addicts” program won’t help to ween these addicts off heroin. The program only helps to lower the city’s crime rates. Providing the drug to addicts keeps them from resorting to minor street crimes to get more heroin.

    This also keeps heroin addicts out of the hospital because the drug is administered in the cleanest way possible.

    This keeps.

    The people who end up in the hospital after using bad drugs or unsanitary needles often cannot afford hospital bills.

    Although the crime rate in Vancouver is fixed, the heroin addiction that these people face is not.

    Rate is.

    An example of a more robust “fix.”:
    UNEDITED:
    This addiction causes heroin users to do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug and feed their addiction. However, the “free heroin for addicts” program won’t help to ween these addicts off heroin.
    EDITED:
    The “free heroin for addicts” program CONDEMNS users to their continuing addiction.

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    1. Many fine improvements here, scarlett. Now the only problem is that your paragraph sounds like something written at gunpoint. You must be feeling it too: that tone that says, “I’m not comfortable writing this way.” I do apologize for that. You won’t get your own voice back until you start naturally choosing the best subjects and verbs for the job. But I appreciate the effort. 🙂

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