It seems counterintuitive that a circus making money off of their animals would treat them so poorly and let them die. Sadly that is exactly the case with the Ringling Brothers, most commonly known as “The Greatest Show On Earth.” They are most notably known for their elephants and all of the amazing tricks they can do. So you would think that they would treat their money making animals with the best care, wrong. There have been cases after cases of animal cruelty, and each time the charges are dropped, another elephant dies, or another video shows up of one of the workers hitting the animals. The first big case was with a baby elephant who became very sick and started showing no interest in things he loved. Kenny, the baby elephant, was supposed to be given medical care before being cleared for a show, the first show he was not cleared but still went on, same with the second. After the second and show, a veterinarian came in and gave him medication and said he should not do the third show, the circus went against that advice and put Kenny in the third show, where he had bloody diarrhea during the performance and once he was back in the cage he died. This death could have easily been prevented if they gave their animals the correct treatment.
The Feld Entertaiment are the ones running the Ringling Brothers circus. This group is very corrupted in many ways, the whole circus is uses illegal training of animals and abuse and they get away with it every time. It does not matter who tries to take them down, it does not work. Whether it is the USDA, PETA, Ron DeHaven, and a couple more animal activists have tried, but none have succeed. It is surprising how the circus could get away with all of this abuse for years even with video proof and eye witnesses coming forward. There is an abundance of videos of the trainers hitting the elephants with bullhooks, ankusks, and electric pods. They would continue to hit and hit and hit until the elephants are crying for it to stop. It is plain and clear that these animals are being abused and treated poorly, even though Feld keeps saying they are living in perfect conditions. Even when lawyers start cracking down on Felds they would not release all the information they had, they only shared the files that did not have any hint of animal abuse. Sadly for the elephants it seems that no matter what Felds entertainment do, they always get away with it.
It seems counterintuitive that if a women was raped and married at the time, she would be considered an adulterer and thrown in the river. It seems counterintuitive that if a girl was raped, she would be forced to marry her rapist and her dad gets fifty shekels out of it. It seems counterintuitive that if a husband raped his wife, it was not illegal, and that was in affect until 1993 in North Carolina. Rape is rape, women see it as that, some men on the other hand do not. For example, the men in the Republican party, their idea of rape goes back to when it could only happen to somebody who is single, did not get pregnant or who was a virgin, and only females could be raped. It is honestly heartbreaking that the people in charge of America right now, do not know the definition of rape, and are okay with having a President accused of rape on multiple occasions.
It seems counterintuitive that multivitamins do almost nothing to make us healthier. Instead of making people healthier, the vitamins might actually be putting the person at more risk of a disease than without taking them. Vitamin deficiency is very rare, almost nobody gets it, because even though most of the food we eat may not be necessarily the healthiest for us, they still have enough vitamins and minerals that adults need on a daily basis. Suprisingly enough if there is too much vitamins and minerals in your system, it is actually bad for you. That is why if you take multivitamins on top of eating generally healthy, you will be consuming too much vitamins and minerals. For example having to much folic acid can lead to a risk of colorectal cancer. Some of the multivitamins already have too much of certain things in there, which is extremely unhealthy. One multivitamin has double the recommended dose for vitamin A.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
Morty, congratulations. This is clearly a Summary with a Purpose.
I want to suggest that you can and should persuade readers with a more reasonable, less aggressive tone. We don’t need to sound “academic” in this class in the way that term is usually used. Strict formality is not a requirement. But hyperbole and casual shaming language—common in the comments sections of most websites—is counterproductive for academic essays, which get their power from the evidence they present.
My other recommendation is that you more carefully organize your material so that you’re not making dubious charges first, then trying to backfill them after you’ve already raised questions in your readers’ minds.
Let’s take a look at a small section of your first of three summaries. (You’re planning to submit two more by the deadline, right?):
Your point is clear, and would stoke the anger of those who already agree with you, but you’re more likely to win converts to your point of view with a firm approach that sticks to the evidence.
I’m not trying to impose a style on you, Morty, just suggesting that a different tone would be more effective and more appropriate for the medium of the “academic essay.”
This would be a good time for you to tell me if you appreciate this degree of feedback, find it helpful, or are overwhelmed and discouraged by it, Morty.
Please respond. Thanks!
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MONTY! That rape summary is brilliant. Wonderfully organized and careful to follow its own logic, gently but firmly guiding readers to your conclusion. I could help you with grammar and punctuation improvements if you ask, but you’ll have to ask. I value the communication enough to withhold assistance until it occurs.
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The multivitamin summary, on the other hand, is a bit of a mess and makes substantial grammar errors that you really should investigate, run down, and fix. Again, I’ll be delighted to point you in the right direction if you request my help. I’ll be happy to recommend a different organization pattern too.
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