Robust Verbs – aaspiringwriter

Vancouver has been battling against the crimes committed by addicts who would go to any extent to take hold of the drug. Obsession of drugs prevents the addicts from maintaining steady jobs, interactions and relationships. The “free heroin for addicts” program stops the addicts from committing crimes such as breaking, entering and stealing. While the program doesn’t end addiction, it does reduce crime rates in the city by providing the addicts free heroin in the cleanest possible way and thus keeping them off the streets. Such arrangement might save the city but the addicts will still be dependent on heroin.

 

4 thoughts on “Robust Verbs – aaspiringwriter”

  1. Vancouver has been battling against the crimes committed by addicts; who would go to any extent to take hold of the drug.

    Your sentence doesn’t need a semicolon; otherwise, it does a fine job of using Vancouver as the subject and having it do battle. The second clause isn’t as strong because the addicts “go to any extent” instead of robbing, mugging, and breaking into homes, all robust verbs you could substitute for the vague “go.”

    Obsession of drugs interrupts the addicts from maintaining steady jobs, interactions and relationships.

    Maybe “prevents”? To interrupt them is only temporary.

    The “free heroin for addicts” program makes serious effort’s to stop the addicts from committing crimes such as breaking, entering and stealing.

    “Makes” is weak, whereas “stops” is strong. If it doesn’t succeed with everyone, then “stops most.”

    However this program isn’t helping the addicts to prevent their addiction, instead it is focused on reducing the crime rates in the city by providing the addicts free heroin in the cleanest possible way and thus keeping them off the streets.

    Advice that goes beyond the scope of this exercise: “However” sounds like your objection. If you object to this shortcoming, let it stand. But if the program does all it should, you can substitute, “While the program doesn’t end addiction, it does reduce crime.” That way you give credit where it’s due without complaining.

    Such arrangement might save the city but the addicts will still be dependent on heroin.

    Strong work overall, Aspiring.
    You can revise and ask for more feedback if you wish.

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