Vancouver has a monumental problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The city has implemented a “free heroin for addicts” program in order to try to stop the addicts, who are driving up the crime rate in Vancouver. Addicts have a hard time getting through daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships because they are using. The users will do whatever they deem necessary to obtain their drug, including stealing. While the aforementioned program will help reduce crime, it will not help ween users off of heroin, focusing on the safety of the city rather than the users themselves. By providing the drug, the city keeps addicts off the streets and out of hospitals. Many addicts are unable to pay hospital bills, creating more problems for the city. The “free heroin for addicts” program will give heroin to addicts in the cleanest, safest way possible. It will save the city but leave the addicts struggling with the same addiction they started out with.
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Rowan Counterintuitive 
You’ve made several improvements, Belladonna, but mostly missed the opportunity to replace weak verbs with robust alternatives. Here are your Subject/VERB pairs:
Vancouver HAS
City HAS
Addicts HAVE
Users WILL DO
Program WILL REDUCE
City KEEPS
Addicts ARE
Program WILL GIVE
It WILL SAVE
Example of a more robust subject/VERB pair:
While the “free heroin for addicts” program REDUCES crime and ELIMINATES the dangers of dirty needles and violence, it CONDEMNS program participants to continuing addiction.
I invite you to revise this exercise and ask for feedback.
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Vancouver’s problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits cripples the city. The city implemented a “free heroin for addicts” program in order to try to stop the addicts, who are driving up the crime rate. Addicts struggle through daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships because they are using. The users commit whatever crime they deem necessary to obtain their drug, including stealing. While the aforementioned program reduces crime, it fails to help ween users off of heroin, focusing on the safety of the city rather than the users themselves. By providing the drug, the city prevents addicts from living on the streets and overcrowding hospitals. Many addicts cannot pay hospital bills, creating more problems for the city. The “free heroin for addicts” program provides heroin to addicts in the cleanest, safest way possible. It rescues the city but leaves the addicts struggling with the same addiction they started out with.
How’s this?
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Considerable improvements AND responsiveness to feedback. Grade +1
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