Smartphones have been a great advancement in technology and in society. Like any other tool they help us with our daily tasks such as keeping us close to public safety officials, allowing us the ability to transfer money that helps us manage our lifestyles, and being able to check the safety of our families with a push of a button. Having the ability to talk to someone miles away has made life convenient and full of contentment for modern day people. It is safe to say that the phone is one of the most important tools ever made along with electricity, the telescope, and the wheel.
The practice of sending information has been a valuable assist to forming society since the renaissance. To be able to inform, people can be the difference between life and death in a state of war. The phone is another staple to humanity such as U.S presidents are to the development of America. However, not all presidents are helpful -to the well being of the country as such not all uses of phones are beneficial to our daily lives. Recently phones have been the bane of our daily progression as we constantly check our phones as we work. Our phones have been given as much responsibility to their owners as their owners’ function in society. Moreover, phones help us get things done. Now think for a moment about how someone could use that tool that helps you with getting things done with different intentions for its uses than to its owner’s purpose. There you have an issue; the privacy of one’s belongings is one of the most sought-after luxuries humanity has set for itself. The foundation of America was fought for the individual privacy to practice any religion. Forward two hundred and forty years into the future and we find us with a similar conflict with individual ownership boundaries. Most recently this conflict has been brought to light with news of terrorism in America. In 2015, a terrorist attack occurred in San Bernardino, California. The terrorist attack was a mass shooting carried out by a Pakistani couple that aimed their sights at a San Bernardino country department of public health Christmas party, where 16 people were killed and 24 people suffered non-fatal injuries. After being pursued the couple were killed in a shoot out with police. In all, a total of 40 people were harmed with the intent of causing terror in America. While investigating the remains of the couple, the FBI found an Apple Iphone that is understood to hold information on the couples’ activities. The modern day conflict with privacy was that the FBI wanted Apple to open the Iphones encrypted system to investigate the information that it holds. How does one feel when their government pursues access to one of the most powerful tools in the current age? Giving the FBI that kind of power is a serious bridge of trust. The FBI has made a case with the Department of Justice that would put Apple in the position to hold responsibility of the phones property having been the manufacturer. Apple being the entity that it is was adamant to allow the case to follow through without debate first. The company stands against the FBI when considering how much power they could give the government with just one case to decrypt a single iphone. Beyond this instance the government can use this knowledge to perform whatever surveillance deemed useful, which is a lot of power. The debate over whether Apple can be held accountable for it’s products second party uses after developing an issue with a third party can show the conflict of interest between the American people and the consumers of technology
Rowan Counterintuitive 
feedback provided
—DSH
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The problem with this opening, Yeezy, is that you’ll find thousands of sources in which writers offer exactly the same opinion as yours. Before Monday night’s lecture (https://rowancounterintuitive.com/syllabus/research-tips/), that might have sounded like a good thing, but now I hope you’ll recognize that it puts your project in jeopardy of having nothing to do.
The idea that smartphones, and in particular social media conducted on smartphones, have created a distracted generation is as old as Twitter. Nothing can be gained by another essay that says so. The best you can hope to do is add your voice to a chorus of people.
If you told me the opposite, you’d have a better chance of writing a counterintuitive essay. By now, it’s common knowledge (not at all counterintuitive), that we have either 1) shorter attention spans, or 2) divided attention, when interacting with others. But hundreds of writers have beat you to that story line too.
If you’d like someone to discuss your thesis with in the hope of finding an angle more fruitful than the one you’re introducing here, drop me a request for feedback on your Proposal+5. Don’t just use the two-word phrase to ask for help. Start by making some suggestions of your own about how to find a fresh angle on this over-discussed topic.
Your approach here isn’t at issue. It’s fine. Not great, but fine. (My favorite sentence by far: they seem not realize there is not a race being held to know either rumors or what a celebrity has eaten for breakfast. That’s terrific.) You can improve your grade on this assignment most by revising its content first. Then we’ll talk about better approaching to opening.
Coded Grade: J
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