For my research essay I will be examining the hypothesis that Dialectical Behavior Therapy could benefit the majority of college students, not just those with diagnosed disorders. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a form of behavior therapy that focuses on the treatment of emotional, relationship, cognitive, behavior, and self dysregulation. When most of these problems are found in one person, diagnosis is often given and DBT is prescribed. However, one or two of these problems are found in the same majority of “normal” college students mentioned earlier, whether diagnosis is possible or not, and DBT has not even been considered. This is not only unfair to the students, but unfair to the people around them that they will inevitably affect with their dysregulation. DBT could help all of these students to a healthier, happier existence.
In my research I have found that 82% of college students have admitted to using verbal violence against a partner, creating relationship and emotion dysregulation. 44% of college students have been classified as binge drinkers, which falls into the category of behavior dysregulation. And finally, 11.1% of students reported having suicidal ideation in the past four weeks, another example of behavior dysregulation.
Sources
1. Acceptance and Mindfulness in Cognitive Behavior Therapy – Herbert, James D.,Forman, Evan M_.pdf
The Essential Content of the Article: In its section on DBT, it outlines the basics of the therapy and for whom it is necessary. It mainly specifies people with personality disorders, but gives breakdowns of what issues can be treated by DBT. It defines the different types of dysregulation and shows how DBT helps fix them.
What it Proves: Common things, such as emotional dysregulation, can be improved with DBT, even if a disorder is not present.
2. Courtship Violence Among College Students: A Comparison of Verbally and Physically
Abusive Couples
The Essential Content of the Article: The article gives statistical analysis on the percent of college students who have engaged in verbal and physical violence with romantic partners, and why they did so. It shows that the majority have engaged in verbal violence.
What it Proves: Verbal violence, a form of relationship and emotional dysregulation, is common among college students.
3. Correlates of College Student Binge Drinking
The Essential Content of the Article: The article gives statistical analysis of how many college students engage in binge drinking, showing that almost half do so.
What it Proves: Binge drinking, a form of behavior dysregulation, is common among college students.
The Essential Content of the Article: This is another article that outlines the basics of DBT, but it also includes the benefits. These include decreasing harmful behaviors and learning to make emotion-independent choices. It also gives a list of disorders that DBT can treat. However, the benefits seem to be universal.
What it Proves: There are benefits foreveryone in DBT, regardless of whether or not they are mentally ill.
5. Depression, Desperation, and Suicidal Ideation In College Students
The Essential Content of the Article: This article gives statistical analysis of how many college students had suicidal ideations in the past four weeks, showing that 11.1% did. It also gave information on how this percent fluctuated among certain demographics.
What it Proves: Suicidal ideation, while not exactly common, is present on college campuses.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
I have high hopes for you Belladonna. You post well and early, and you appear to have genuine academic goals. This is an impressive draft. Your sources are scholarly. Your premise is interesting.
How to Make it Better.
If you tell me, “the article provides an in-depth statistical analysis of the degree to which the fire in the corner altered the temperature in the room,” you’ve told me everything except what I wanted to know.
If, instead, you tell me that “the article demonstrates that, despite assumptions, a fire in the corner of a room with good cross-ventilation can actually lower the temperature in a room,” then I have learned the argument value of the article.
Apply that illustration to these two entries:
Are all the “issues that can be treated by DBT” essential to your argument? Is every “type of dysregulation” essential to your argument? If not, then identify which are.
If this is true, Belladonna, your thesis is proved before you read your second source. My question then becomes, “What original value will you add to this settled matter?” There’s little academic value to applauding for proven theories.
That may seem an unfair challenge for an undergraduate research paper, but my early impression is that you’re up to a challenge.
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Thank you for your feedback, and for the challenge. Let’s do this.
The Essential Content of the Article: In its section on DBT, it outlines the basics of the therapy and for whom it is necessary, citing people with personality disorders. However, it also breaks down common emotional issues known as dysregulation that can be found in all corners of humanity. The ones I will be focusing on are emotional, behavioral, and relationship dysregulation, as these are very common in college students. The article gives examples of how DBT can help these kinds of dysregulation.
The next part was a misunderstanding on my part, I wrote what I was proving through the article’s information as opposed to what the article itself proves.
What it Proves: Dysregulation, found in people with personality disorders, can be treated with DBT.
So technically my thesis is not proven, I have yet to encounter anything that studies DBT’s effects on mentally ‘healthy’ people. If there is anything else you would like me to improve upon, I;d be more than happy to oblige.
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Those are very strong improvements, Belladonna.
Let’s shift focus for a moment and look at some technical writing issues.
Beware of “it.” You use two of them here; both steal energy from your claim. They’re vague, they have no clear antecedents, they make terrible subjects for sentences. Replaced with a stronger sentence, they disappear.
Next, according to our Basic Grammar Rules, quotes are always double quotes. The rule applies anywhere in a sentence, whether the author is making a direct quotation or merely highlighting a single word.
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