Talking Money
P1. Money is what makes the world go ’round. We all recognize the importance of money in our capitalist society. After all, we spend over 20 years of our lives receiving an education for what? To earn money. Money is traded blindly for everything from a bag of chips to a house.
P2. In 1991, anthropologist Milton Friedman visited an island called Yap, over 8,000 miles away in a subregion of Micronesia. The official currency of the island is Fei. The currency is created out of sandstone which is designed in the shape of a donut, ranging from one foot in diameter to twelve feet. These “coins” are typically taller than a man, and weigh more than a car. For the reason that these stones are so large and heavy, one is not required to possess the coins in order for them to be property. After a transaction, the new owner of the stone is broadly recognized, which disposed of the need to equip them. As a result of this, there are situations in which rich families of Yap have never even seen their wealth.
P3. Years ago, relatives of a rich family were hunting for Fei. After the discovery of a massive Fei stone, the family captured it and tied it to their boat in an attempt to bring the money home. Disastrously, there was a violent storm on the night of their voyage home. As a result, the family had no choice but to save their lives and drop the Fei overboard. Once back at the village, they had to testify for their money that was dropped. The family explained the massive size and wealth of the stone, and declared that it was lost through no fault of their own. The family was then permitted to retain the stone as their own with absolutely no loss of value. Now, it is accepted in their village that there is a stone in the ocean that has never been seen yet holds massive wealth.
P4. Does the idea of not actually having your money on-hand sounds trivial? Well the Fei is very close to the American currency system.
P5. Before 1933, American currency was backed by gold. This meant that the trade of dollar bills was a promise of gold which was held in banks. After 1933, the decision was made that we may no longer trade money for gold at our banks. The American dollar was officially unbacked.
P6. As of today, our money is still unbacked and the only true value of the dollar is what someone can buy with that dollar. Further, money is now optionally paperless. The money that is held in bank is utilized to give loans. The money that resides in the bank is essentially a fictional number with no actual cost, money may not even be in the account at the moment. At this point in our society, citizens are trading virtually useless pieces of paper for goods and services. The only reason these pieces of paper have value is because we want it to. We believe it has wealth.
P7. Growing up, I never understood money. However, after my new education on the topic, I’ve recognize that the fictional value we place on money is a necessity. Without money, contrary to popular belief, the world would be chaos. What is the incentive provide services or create and trade goods? We would not have teachers, doctors, lawyers, or even public officials. The blind faith that we hold in our currency, although dangerous, is currently essential.
Works Cited
The Planet Money Team. “The Invention of Money.” Audio blog post. This American Life, 7 Jan. 2011. Web. 23 Oct. 2016.
Friedman, Milton. “The Island of Stone Money.” The Economic Journal 25.98 (1991): 281. Web.
The Planet Money Team. “The Lie that Saved Brazil.” Audio blog post. This American Life, 7 Jan. 2011. Web. 23 Oct. 2016.
“How Fake Money Saved Brazil : Planet Money : NPR.” Planet Money. NPR, 4 Oct. 2010. Web. 23 Oct. 2016.
Renaut, Anne. “The Bubble Bursts on E-currency Bitcoin – Yahoo.” Yahoo. AFP, 13 Apr. 2013. Web. 23 Oct. 2016.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
You’ve made improvements to this post since publishing your first Stone Money essay, TheShocker. Let’s take a look at the new version.
It still lacks a title and still contains examples of the Banned 2nd Person. Its Works Cited is not quite complete, either. It’s OK to use a Web note, but not without helping the reader find the original. How would we ever find it?
I’ve provided in red two examples of the correct style for informal citations within your text.
As you know, you’ll receive initial grades in four grading criteria: Argument, Rhetoric, Mechanics, Scholarship (ARMS). Grades can always be improved by revision. To understand your grades, you need to know your Grade Code, which I shared with you in class MON SEP 19. I’ve numbered your paragraphs for easy identification. The Writing Center offers free peer-to-peer writing instruction appointments to suit your schedule. And additional feedback is always available from me upon request.
Argument (Grade I)
There isn’t nearly enough argument here, Shocker. Your first paragraph doesn’t make a claim at all that could be argued. We work for money, you say. Your P2 and P3 summarize the story of the lost fei . . . to what effect? You haven’t told us what it illustrates. When you do tell us, in P4, it’s to promise an analogy. Then, in P5, you delay sharing that analogy. In P6, you variously explain that the money we use today is unbacked, worthless, fictional, useless, optionally paperless, and nonexistent, but trusted. If you had prepared us better for all these insights, they could be very persuasive, but you’ve based the entire argument on a single anecdote that can’t possibly bear their weight. The assignment called for you to study the subject beyond the first podcast. You haven’t mentioned the German incident, the French gold incident, the Japanese currency experiment, the Brazilean real, the role the Federal Reserve plays in determining the value of funds . . . .
Rhetoric (Grade I)
For the most part you demonstrate an easy facility with language, Shocker. But rhetoric is much more than good sentences. It’s a measure of how well your language (its tone, the balance of its logical sentences, the appeals it makes to our reason and our feelings) advances your argument. You are glib in your assessment of the value of money, which is fine if you’re sure your readers are already persuaded. But your opening and closing paragraphs advance the argument that “money is important,” while the rest of your essay has nothing at all to do with money’s importance. In your body, you appear to be arguing that our faith in money is all that gives it value. The two statements are not incompatible, and they’re both indisputably true, but they aren’t actually related, and proving one doesn’t contribute to proving the other.
I would warn you against a reliance on fragments (marked in blue) and rhetorical questions (marked in green). They’re both rhetorically dangerous. One because it’s grammatically incorrect and should be used sparingly and only when just right. The other because it’s much weaker than a bold clear direct declarative claim (and invites your reader to argue with you or answer unexpectedly).
Mechanics (Provisional G)
Once you fix the Title, Works Cited, references, and Banned 2nd Person problems, your mechanics will be in pretty good shape.
You do have a blind spot for that/which choices. I can explain further if you ask. Search for both terms in your piece and see if you can figure out which are correct and which are not.
Scholarship (Grade I)
First, fix the citation technique. Then enhance your Works Cited to give readers a chance to find the originals. Then expand your research to add more sources. Your essay as it stands depends on just your own observations and a single anecdote from a single source.
OVERALL
Take heart, Shocker. Your current grade is a reflection of how this work would be graded if it were submitted as part of your Portfolio. Many of the fixes are easy. The semester is young and help is available. Every post can be endlessly revised. I will meet with you any MON or WED in personal conferences and provide continuous feedback in and out of class. You may request a grade update in the Reply field for this post, but only after you’ve made substantial changes to your entire essay (not merely corrected the grammar and mechanics).
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I am looking to do some re-writing on this assignment and you said that you marked some things in blue and some in green but they are not marked. Would you be able to mark them so I can learn from them and fix them?
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