P1. There are a lot of questions dealing with the monetary system we use as Americans today. Americans as well as other nations have a vast range of opinions on the concept of money. Americans have their opinions on foreign money, and people from other nations have their own specific opinions on the American dollar. Why will people in other countries take American dollars, but not American coins? They both have the same monetary value, but people in other countries favor the dollar over coins. A dollar bill, four quarters, ten dimes, twenty nickels, and one hundred pennies means the same thing to an American, it all adds up to a $1.00. When looked at from a foreign person’s point of view the coins have less value than the single dollar bill. Most Americans have personal bank accounts and the bank sends statements at pre-disclosed time intervals to each member. These statements can be viewed on a computer, smart phone, or even on a physical piece of paper mailed to you from the bank. On the statement there is the bank members name, address and account information. One can see the history of your withdraws, deposits and transfers. One can also see how much money they have spent over the time period, and how much more they have saved for whatever reason/s. A very popular question concerning the American banks is, “Where is the money that the bank says one has?”. The bank acknowledges the fact that the money is owned by a specific person. That person can use their money at their own will, but can’t see that money that they’re using. Before reading Milton Friedman’s essay, “The Island of Stone Money”, articles about the Brazilian real, and listening to the NPR broadcast of Stone Money I understood the basic concepts of how American banks worked. I never really took my time to try to figure out why Americans use the system they use today and how the banks work . Reading about these topics and doing this research has led to many questions stated above as well as many answers.
P2. For one to understand the monetary system in use today we have to look at the history of money. The first upbringing of a monetary system dated back all the way to the start of civilization and it was the bartering system. People traded food for clothes or cattle for water, everyone used items as currency and they knew for example how many chickens you need for a cow. NOVA, the most watched science television program in America, published a timeline of history of money. On their timeline the first monetary system that resembled our current one was dated all the way back to 1200 BC. In 1200 BC the Ancient Chinese used cowrie shells as currency. Cowrie shells is the oldest currency in human history. The Planet Money Team for NPR did a report on the islanders of Yap, a Caroline Island in Micronesia. The report talks about the people of the island Yap and their currency known as “fei”. Their currency was made out of huge chunks of limestone and brought it from islands hundreds of miles away. These pieces were so big that once they were brought back to the island it was put in the middle of the village or on a path and left there. On Yap the islanders did not have to physically posses the fei for it to be theirs. In fact, it was very common to have engraving on the limestone to show who owned it at this time.
P3. In “The Island of Stone Money”, Milton Friedman explains a legend of the biggest fei ever sculpted. It is believed that a boat load of islanders set sale to an island four hundred miles away. Once at this island they sculpted the fei and loaded it on a raft and headed back to Yap. On their return they ran into a bad storm and had to let the great fei go and it sank to the bottom of the sea. When the sculptors returned to Yap they recalled their experiences and the islanders were okay with the fei being at the bottom of the sea because they knew its worth and everyone knew who the fei belonged to. Now, multiple generations after the sculpting of the original fei people have never seen it but at the same time know that the family is the wealthiest family of Yap.
P4. In the current age of technology there is always some new device, new theory, new program, etc. For example, one can order a new phone and next week there is a new update for the processor to run faster. With that being said it is safe to say that technology is growing exponentially. Now there is an app on the Google Play Store and Apple Store called Venmo. Venmo has well over one million downloads and is very popular for college roommates and groups of friends. Venmo is a social network where friends can pay and request money to and from friends. This app is excellent for splitting dinner bills and/or utility bills. The best thing about the app is you do not have to deal with your actual bank account. If someone sends their friend money the app saves that money and they are able to pay other people with that money. One then can transfer the money into their bank account and the money is now theirs. People do not need to see the transactions take place, but know that they have that much money on your account. This is exactly how the islanders of Yap used their fei. It is very interesting that some hundred odd years has passed and the same theories are still in place.
P5. In conclusion, after all of the reading the articles and listening to the broadcasts my opinion on money did not change, but has widely broadened. My opinion did not change because I had a very good idea on how the current monetary system works. These readings and broadcasts made me really think and evaluate the current monetary system. As Ira Glass explains in her broadcast you can put money in a bank, that money then gets loaned out to a person starting a business. So now, this person has your money but you can still buy things with it. Even after this person purchases something with your money, your money did not go anywhere. Again, I never stepped back and looked at this scenario like this before and reading about money and the issues money caused in different countries, such as France, Brazil and Germany, allowed my opinion to broaden and learn how to accept how questionable the concept of money really is.
Works Cited
Date, By. “The Invention of Money.” This American Life. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Sept. 2016. <http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/423/the-invention-of-money>.
Friedman, Milton. “The Island of Stone Money.” StoneMoneyEssay.pdf. N.p., Feb. 1991. Web. 22 Sept. 2016. <https://counterintuitive2015.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/stonemoneyessay.pdf>.
“The History of Money.” PBS. PBS, 26 Oct. 1996. Web. 22 Sept. 2016. <http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/ancient/history-money.html>.
Venmo-Android Apps on Google Play. Googlw, 11 Sept. 2016. Web. 22 Sept. 2016. <https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.venmo&hl=en>.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
You’ll have to work hard, Saints72, to improve your written argument skills. This is a thinking course as much as it’s a writing course. The best writing is simply good ideas expressed clearly. Permit me to critique just your first paragraph here (P1) for Argument only.
As you know, you’ll receive quick grades in four grading criteria: Argument, Rhetoric, Mechanics, Scholarship (ARMS). Grades can always be improved by revision. To understand your grades, you need to know your Grade Code, which I shared with you in class MON SEP 19. I’ve numbered your paragraphs for easy identification. Additional feedback is always available upon request.
Argument (Grade H)
This grade reflects only how your P1 would be graded if it were part of your end-of-semester Portfolio. Your later paragraphs may be better.
—There are a lot of questions dealing with the monetary system we use as Americans today. Americans as well as other nations have a vast range of opinions on the concept of money. Americans have their opinions on foreign money, and people from other nations have their own specific opinions on the American dollar.
This opening section makes no arguments at all, Saints72. As an opening strategy, it completely fails to engage your readers’ attention. You say there are “a lot of questions,” and “a vast range of opinions,” both American opinions and non-American opinions. Just one actual question, phrased as a provocative claim, would be a better hook. When you finally name your provocative question, the first three sentences become completely irrelevant. CUT THEM.
—Why will people in other countries take American dollars, but not American coins?
Great question, but you don’t answer it. Rhetorical Questions are not prohibited, but they do require a license. They are loaded weapons that kill your argument when they misfire. If you MUST ask one, answer it immediately. You don’t want your readers making up their own minds. Tell them what they need to know.
—They both have the same monetary value, but people in other countries favor the dollar over coins. A dollar bill, four quarters, ten dimes, twenty nickels, and one hundred pennies means the same thing to an American, it all adds up to a $1.00. When looked at from a foreign person’s point of view, the coins have less value than the single dollar bill.
Why? You still haven’t answered the question. Also, I have to dispute your claim that Americans value 100 pennies the same as a one dollar bill. Try giving a Wawa customer 104 pennies in change.
—Most Americans have personal bank accounts and the bank sends statements at pre-disclosed time intervals to each member. These statements can be viewed on a computer, smart phone, or even on a physical piece of paper mailed to [you!] from the bank. On the statement there is the bank [members!] name, address and account information. One can see the history of [your!] withdraws, deposits and transfers. One can also see how much money [they!] have spent over the time period, and how much more [they!] have saved for whatever reason/s.
This long section bears no apparent relation to the earlier sentences, Saints72, which means you’re no longer developing a single main idea in P1, which means you should be starting P2 here. Are you making an argument at all in this section? If so, it would have something to do with the intangibility of modern money transactions. You don’t say so, but the unspoken claim is that while pennies and dollar bills change hands, our bank transactions are not physical. You undermine that claim a bit by including the paper statement. But if you’re trying to create a contrast between the coins and digital counters, you need to do so BEFORE you launch into this description.
—A very popular question concerning the American banks is, “Where is the money that the bank says one has?”.
Is it a popular question? I have yet to hear a single person enter a bank and demand to be shown her cash.
—The bank acknowledges the fact that the money is owned by a specific person. That person can use [their!] money at [their!] own will, but can’t see that money that [they’re!] using. Before reading and listening about [“Stone Money”,] the Brazilian real, and other forms of currency from other nations I understood the basic concepts of how American banks worked.
Are you making an argument here at all, Saints72? There is mystery in the situation of our invisible transactions, but you haven’t raised a question for your readers. We’re accustomed to checking accounts, debit cards, automatic deposits. We need to be SHOWN how nutty that is because we already take it for granted.
—I never really took my time to try to figure out why Americans use the system [they!] use today and how the banks work . Reading about these topics and doing this research has led to many questions stated above as well as many answers.
I do understand what you’re doing, Saints72. You’re indulging in a paragraph-long “introduction” intended to lay out some preliminary questions and background before you get to the actual essay. The trouble with that approach is that you lose readers with every delay. I promise I will ALWAYS read every word you write, but I’m the only reader you can count on. You have to earn all the others.
[Looking ahead to P2, I see you’re still not ready to begin your argument. You begin with another delaying tactic: First, a little background.]
[Now that I’ve read P2, I see you still haven’t begun your own argument.]
[Ditto for P3]
Only in P4 do you actually redeem the entire history of the development of currency, Saints72, in return for your observation that new bank transfer apps make it possible, in effect, to “share a fei.” Your analogy is interesting, but not enough to carry an entire essay. Plus, if it was to be your primary point, you should have LED YOUR ESSAY with the very bold claim that “a 2016 finance app FINALLY makes our modern technology as efficient as the money system of the Yap islanders who used huge stone disks to buy a house.” With that hook, you could have held our attention more effectively.
Rhetoric (Grade G)
You write well, Saints72. As we progress through the semester, we’ll work on techniques for getting more CLAIMS into your sentences. Every paragraph you’ve written could contribute well to an overall argument, but they don’t seem to understand their purpose. Good rhetoric grades go to writers whose sentences force conclusions on their readers at every opportunity.
Mechanics (Grade I)
The first item in your Works Cited starts most peculiarly, Saints72.
—Date, By. “The Invention of Money.” This American Life. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Sept. 2016. .
That By Date thing can’t be right.
You routinely violate Grammar Rule 7. It would cause Failure For Grammar (FFG):
https://rowancounterintuitive.com/syllabus/fails-for-grammar-ffg/
Your attempts to avoid the 2nd person (You/Your/Yours) have created new problems for you, Saints72.
—One can see the history of your withdraws, deposits and transfers.
Here you start with “One,” but you still break the rule by using “your.”
—One can also see how much money they have spent over the time period, and how much more they have saved for whatever reason/s.
Here you create an error of number: ONE (singular) cannot see what THEY (plural) have spent.
WE solves all these problems:
WE can see the history of OUR withdraw[AL]s, deposits and transfers. WE can also see how much money WE have spent over the time period, and how much more WE have saved for whatever reason/s.
Most of your mechanical errors are of these two types, Saints72. Check all your paragraphs for violations of grammar rules involving quotation marks and personal pronouns.
Scholarship (Grade I)
We are writing for the world, Saints72. You can’t assume that your readers know you were assigned to read Milton Friedman or listen to an NPR podcast. In P1, when you say: “Before reading and listening about “Stone Money”, the Brazilian real, and other forms of currency from other nations I understood the basic concepts of how American banks worked,” you take for granted that we know your sources. We don’t. You need to cite them when you report on their content—first time, every time. It’s not an egregious error for your first draft of your first assignment, but it would fail your Portfolio.
OVERALL
Take heart, Saints72. Your current grade is a reflection of how this work would be graded if it were submitted as part of your Portfolio. The semester is young and help is available. Every post can be endlessly revised. I will meet with you any MON or WED in personal conferences and provide continuous feedback in and out of class.
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