P1. Growing up as kids we have always been told how important money is and how important it is to earn money, to save money and to value money. I was taught that money is a method of exchange. We give money and we get something in return. But we can’t get anything and everything we want. We can only get those things that holds the value which is equivalent to the money we provide. However the concept of money isn’t as simple as it looks. The more you start thinking about money the more vague your concept becomes. When you shift your focus from being an individual conducting day to day exchanges just to survive to nations all over the world managing those exchanges, you start to question, What is the end result of those exchanges? Where does it go? Who decides what should happen and Where it should go? Who invented this form of method in the first place and Why do we need it? In reality there is no definite answer and logical explanation for all these questions because its too complicated to calculate just like its complicated to find the sum of two infinite numbers. Of-course you know that the answer is infinite but you also know that its just impossible to measure or calculate. One can consider money as just an illusion humans created in-order to make exchanges for using services and products provided by other humans, without much hassle.
P2. Money or some form of exchange has been around since the existence of the human race. The exchange started with bartering system. For example people will give vegetables in exchange for clothes. However this system was not efficient enough, because in the scenario where you want to buy a house you can’t possibly have enough vegetables that holds the value equivalent to that house and even if you do have enough vegetables there is no way one can use it up before it goes bad. Hence people started coming up with new ideas, which led to the invention of gold and silver coins. It lasted for a while and it was a good idea, but it had it’s drawbacks. Firstly, digging gold and then giving it the shape of the coin is expensive in itself and it’s also hard to find. One can’t find gold on streets. Also carrying gold coins all the world with you is a heavy task – literally! And then finally the currency we use today was created. Its paper, its easy to carry and easy to exchange and thanks to technology we don’t even need to carry it anymore. It’s just a number in our bank accounts that keeps changing. Hence one can say that money is just an illusion we manipulate according to our convenience and our needs.
P3. The 7 billion people on this planet don’t necessarily use the same currency or the same method of exchange. The reason behind is difference in culture, difference in geography, difference in the availability of resources. There is one island out in the pacific ocean that supports my argument. It’s an island called Yap and people there use limestones carved in huge stone discs that could weigh more than a car to pay for stuff since they don’t have gold or any form of metal available on the island. At first people will think its bizarre but what is more bizarre is the trading process. In general we buy something and we give liquid money in exchange or transfer it to bank account. However transferring the limestone without any equipment and machinery is impossible. So during a trade the people in Yap would just be informed that person A bought x thing from person B and now that limestone of person A belongs to person B. The stone won’t be moved from its place but everyone knows who it belongs to. The question is why the people on Yap would go through all the trouble of getting limestones and carving it? “At some point people on Yap realized what most societies realizes. They needed something that everyone agrees you can use to pay for stuff.”(The island of Stone Money) We need something to support our illusion and we can go beyond our limits to achieve that. The Yap’s concept of money may sound insane but it’s nothing new. We use that concept everyday. When we buy groceries via credit cards, “what’s really changing? The digits in the bank account.”(Stone Money NPR Broadcast) Convenience and availability plays an important role in how we carry out exchanges.
P4. Money is a lot more rather than a mere tool of exchange. If not handled properly, it can make people go bankrupt, it can create inflation and deflation, countries can be consumed by debt. One such example is brazil. “Twenty years ago, Brazil’s inflation rate hit 80 percent per month.”(CHANA JOFFE-WALT) The prices would change everyday and will go from $10 to $1000 in no time. It all happened because of poor decisions made by the presidents of the country at that time. However, how four people who knew how to handle money set an example by ending brazils inflation is incredible. People of brazil had lost faith in government and the value of money. The idea was to bring the faith back by creating virtual money and making people believe that it’s real. We can say money is nothing but just Faith. You need people to believe in money and believe its real.
P5. Money is created out of nothing. It has no value initially. We decide it’s value and how much it’s worth and change it according to our convenience. Reserve Bank decides how much money to print depending upon whether the economy is good or bad. Japan decided to devaluate its currency to bring country out of recession. “Bitcoins were created in-order to have a currency that is free from central bank or financial institution.”(Renaut, Anne) One can conclude that money is just an idea people play around with but it doesn’t exist in reality.
Works Cited
Friedman, Milton. “The Island of Stone Money.” Diss. Hoover Institution, Stanford University , 1991.
Joffe-Walt, Chana . “How Fake Money Saved Brazil.” NPR.org. 4 Oct. 2010. 30 Jan. 2015. <http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/10/04/130329523/how-fake-money-saved-brazil>.
Renaut, Anne . “The bubble bursts on e-currency Bitcoin.” Yahoo.com. 13 Apr. 2013. 30 Jan. 2015. <https://sg.news.yahoo.com/bubble-bursts-e-currency-bitcoin-064913387–finance.html>.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
I am having trouble in rewrite. Is my argument strong enough? Is my essay coherent? I also tried to use cows and chips exercise. Let me know what i can do to make it a strong essay
feedback provided —DSH
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You write fair sentences, AspiringWriter, but you haven’t crafted anything like a coherent argument here. In general terms, your topic is money and your thesis appears to be: “There’s a lot to say about money.” You haven’t imposed a compelling thesis that would compel a reader other than myself to continue to the end. So let’s look at some details and see what we can do.
As you know, you’ll receive quick grades in four grading criteria: Argument, Rhetoric, Mechanics, Scholarship (ARMS). Grades can always be improved by revision. To understand your grades, you need to know your Grade Code, which I shared with you in class MON SEP 19. I’ve numbered your paragraphs for easy identification. The Writing Center offers free peer-to-peer writing instruction appointments to suit your schedule. And additional feedback is always available from me upon request.
Argument (Grade G)
Well, it might not be quite as bad as G, AspiringWriter, but it needs a lot of improvement. One paragraph at a time, let’s identify your topic sentence, which is the thesis of your paragraph. All your topic sentences together should add up to a coherent argument leading inevitably to a conclusion.
Do you see the problem? WAY too many premises for a single paragraph, which leads to apparently aimless wandering from start to finish.
I would suggest, AspiringWriter, that any one of your paragraphs could provide you the framework for an entire essay. If, for example, you break out this P2 into several paragraphs following the chronological model you’ve established, you could write a coherent history of “Money’s Move to Pure Abstraction.” Along the way, you can cite what you’ve learned from your reading in the paragraphs where they belong. Your outline (which writers such as yourself need) would contain many entries, including at least:
—Barter [If you want to save some of your “what I learned as a kid” material, use it here with a childish example: I knew I wanted a troll, and that it was worth two ponies, but when I realized I could trade gobstoppers for one, I recognized for the first time that barter required finding a partner who both had what I wanted AND wanted what I had. That system couldn’t last forever.”]
—First coins [Cite your Yap stuff here, but also acknowledge that other cultures used precious metals long before the Yap were still lugging around their fei. So money is culturally variable.]
—Transition from Metals to Paper [The story of the French demand for gold to replace US dollars is useful here.]
Does that help? I’ve left out several steps that follow, but you know where this is headed. I’d really appreciate hearing your reaction to this advice, AW, so please respond. Feedback goes first to students who engage in a two-way Feedback Dialog.
Rhetoric (Grade F)
I’m going to say kindly that your rhetorical style resembles a stream of consciousness more than anything else, AW. There is strong evidence of good ideas behind the language, but you both assume we know what you’re thinking, and also expect us to make the connections that bind your sentences together. For example:
There is no doubt an explanation for “change it according to our convenience,” but you leave open the possibility that I can decide for myself how much tobacco a dollar should buy for my convenience. The Federal Reserve probably does print more money on days when the economy is “good,” but what that means is far too vague. And while it’s true that Japan wanted to devalue its currency, that doesn’t mean the Japanese people consensually agreed to pay more for stuff. The Bitcoin quote sticks out like a thumb in the eye. I would say that your examples prove the money is a very real thing with serious consequences, one that exists as much as wealth and poverty exist, whether we can see the physical dollars change hands or not.
Mechanics(Grade: FFG Fails for Grammar)
—By and large you write correct sentences, AW, but you have a blind spot for its and it’s, which you must learn to distinguish before I can lift the Fails grade for grammar.
—You also make capitalization and apostrophe errors, though not as many. The little phrase “ending brazils inflation” has one of each, for example.
Once you fix the errors that would prompt a failure grade, we’ll look more closely at the other aspects of Mechanics. But first things first.
Scholarship (Grade H)
Instead of the citation style you’re using:
please adopt the class standard:
Once you fix your citations, your grade will improve to something more reasonable and we’ll look more closely at the other aspects of Scholarship. But first things first.
OVERALL
Take heart, AspiringWriter. Your current grade is a reflection of how this work would be graded if it were submitted as part of your Portfolio. Many of the fixes are easy. The Argument and Rhetoric fixes are more global, but they’re closely related. Your Rhetoric will improve automatically when you settle on a coherent argument. The semester is young and help is available. Every post can be endlessly revised. I will meet with you any MON or WED in personal conferences and provide continuous feedback in and out of class. The Writing Center offers free peer-to-peer counseling by appointment to meet your schedule.
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There should be an E02: Cows and Chips exercise here, Aspiring.
Coded Grade: H
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