A term that’s definition is debated throughout the world is a father. It takes a true man to be a true father, because the two go hand in hand. In order to define a father, a man must first be defined. A man is someone who is of good moral standing, does what he needs to do in order to succeed, is true to his word, and cares deeply for others. An example of a true man as oppose to a self proclaimed man is that any man can get a woman pregnant, but it takes a special one to step up and be a father. This idea of stepping up to the plate is the main difference between a self proclaimed man and a true man.
Google defines the word father as “a man in relation to his natural child or children”. This definition is more than lacking luster; it lacks the essence of what a father is. A father in today’s society is considered a provider, protector, teacher, friend, exemplar, patriarch, disciplinarian, and spiritual leader. These eight attributes of a father in today’s society sheds light on what father should be but not who can be a father. Any man who stand ahead of the curve for a child and leads them to bettering themselves is truly a father.
My father in particular is a great man. He took in my eldest brother as his own when he married my mother even though he was not his biological child. At the mere age of 3, my brother did not know the significance of what my father had chose to do. My father chose to lead the path for this bastard child even though he did not have to. He decided to provide, protect, teach, be a friend, exemplify, be a patriarch, disciplinarian, and be a spiritual leader for this child even though my father had no offspring of his own. Due to men like my father who step up and be the father other men were not ready to be, the definition by google stating a father is “a man in relation to his natural child or children” is false. My father was more of a dad than my eldest brother’s biological father could ever be.
Father’s teach in many different ways. Some ways fathers teach are through example, as a patriarch, through disciplinary actions, and through spiritual leading. My father did and continues to do all of these things. First and foremost, my father is a pastor; spiritual leading came with the territory of being him. he constantly reminds his children of what God has planned for us and how we should stay focused on him. Because of actions such as this, his moral standing has always been exemplary and was always the example of what a man and a father should be. My father constantly used bible quotes over the years to back anything he does. One of his favorites to quote was Ephesians verse 6 chapter 4, which states, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training an admonition of the Lord”. With that said, he still had no problem chastising his children in order to help them understand right from wrong. In this aspect, the disciplinarian came out.
One action that always must be met in order to be considered a relatively good father is being “a man of your word”. A mans word is his bond. This aspect ties back to one of the most important attributes of being a father. Teaching what is right through example. If a father tells his children he will do something, it is a promise. A promise should never be broken or trust is lost. Without trust, a father cannot be a friend to their offspring. They can show kindness and compassion, but the level of interest cannot be faked. When keeping ones word is not seen as a priority, the bond is broken. The level of trust falls, and the relationship between the father and child suffers. If a man does not do everything in their power to keep their word to their children, they are not truly a father.
Although society has been changing and roles of mothers and fathers have been shifting, a father throughout time has always been the provider and protector of not only their children, but the family as a whole. In order to provide, fathers through the ages have gotten jobs that they may have not wanted to do, but they always made sure their family had the food on their table and a roof over their head. Fathers also have always been the protector of the family through different means. For some it’s a physical manifest of fighting an individual in order to protect his family; for others, it’s keeping their children out of the streets and getting an education.
According to google, a father is simply “a man in relation to his natural child or children”. This false definition does not meet the standards of societies definition of a father, nor my own. A father does not need to be the biological father to his children, but rather a spiritual and moral leader that guides their children to a better life. This is done through teaching, being a trusting friend, protecting/ providing, leading by example, being man of good moral character, chastising children when needed, and being a spiritual leader. Without these qualities, no man can consider themselves a father let alone a great one.
Sources:
- https://www.facebook.com/FamilySharecom/. “9 Qualities of a Good Father.” FamilyShare – Discover How to Improve Your Family Life and More. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Oct. 2016.
- Ephesians. King James. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.
Rowan Counterintuitive 