For the past couple of years all we have been accustomed to is watching Television and seeing a story about an unarmed black being killed by a cop. This has stirred itself into a movement, or a as I view it a civil war. Race tensions are almost as high as those from the 1960’s. The war between cops and black Americans has grown into a world epidemic. When we look at the definition of racial profiling it is said to be, “the discriminatory practice by law enforcement officials of targeting individuals for suspicion of crime based on the individual’s race, ethnicity, religion or national origin.” The definition proposes the argument that white officers arrest and/or kill African American citizens purely based off of the color of their skins and no actions. I find it hard to ever prove that a cop is racial profiling anyone. A law enforcement officer must have a reason for an arrest and must have a valid reason for firing their gun otherwise it would simply be murdering. This issue must be looked at not as a whole but as a singular person to person psychological issue. Racism is a noun, it describes either a person, place, or thing. So when a person describes an entire police department as racist it is just silly. Racism distinguishes one whole races from another whole race, grading the worth of each one to another. Therefore, when a police department holds staff with more than one race, by definition it is nearly impossible to title it as “racist”. When we move to the statistics and facts of police killings it is pretty clear that these two terms are no where present and easily misconstrued.
When we begin to look deeper into the arrests and killings involved with police officers some interesting statistics show up. First, lets look at where the common everyday African American citizen lives. According to pbs.org, since 1999 it has been recorded that close to 70 percent of black families or individuals live in the cities or inner-ring suburbs of America. Next, when we begin to look at crime rate in America we find out that most of the United States crime takes place in the Cities of the United States. According to the “New Observer” the worst murder rates take place in Detroit, New Orleans, Newark, St. Louis, and Baltimore; these all being majority black communities. Therefore, is it fair to say that cops are racially profiling these areas because of race, or are these people just looking at the facts and doing their job? The most interesting fact is that of the arrests themselves. Even though these communities are dominantly black statistics presented by the FBI say, “In 2013, 68.9 percent of all individuals arrested were “white,” 28.3 percent were black, and 2.9 percent were of other races. Furthermore, the FBI report claimed, “white” individuals were arrested more often for violent crimes than individuals of any other race and accounted for 58.4 percent of those arrests.” (newobserveronline.com) The article goes on to say that whites account for the most juveniles as well. So if more non-African Americans are being arrested each day in dominantly black communities how is discrimination, racism and racial profiling such immense topics of conversation? The answer is within itself, the media.
The media coverage of crimes involving African Americans has increased immensely over the past 2-3 years. Though it has been statistically shown that more whites are arrested throughout the year, the coverage of African American arrests and assault from police have overlapped the facts. The perception of the public is highly influenced by the media. If the media is always showing the wrong from officers or stories involving a white cop and a black criminal of course the public will grow a an image of racist police officers. Public perception is everything. This was imminent in the financial crisis of 2008. The public perception began to dwindle as more media coverage bashed the banks for losing money. People began to get scared and pulled out of their shares out of pure fear presented by negative coverage. Over 70 percent of crime coverage is based around African American arrests or killings. (Colleluori and Angster) The media deceives our perception and makes an issue out of nothing because it produces rating and controversy. Like the famous actor Morgan Freeman said in an interview on a news station, the reason there is still racism is because we keep talking about it. Think about that, if we simply stop talking about racism it will slowly go away. African Americans have the same rights as whites, they are recognized as everyday citizens with the same opportunities. It isn’t the 1950’s anymore and it will never be like that again. So when we go back to thinking about racial profiling and discrimination, is it the police that are targeting black or is it the media itself for commerce?
Works Cited:
https://mediapromotesracism.wordpress.com/
http://newobserveronline.com/new-fbi-crime-figures-confirm-black-towns-dangerous-white-areas-safest/
Rowan Counterintuitive 
For the past couple of years all we have been accustomed to is watching Television and seeing a story about an unarmed black being killed by a cop.
This has stirred itself into a movement, or as I view it a civil war.
Race tensions are almost as high as those from the 1960’s.
The war between cops and black Americans has grown into a world epidemic.
When we look at the definition of racial profiling it is said to be, “the discriminatory practice by law enforcement officials of targeting individuals for suspicion of crime based on the individual’s race, ethnicity, religion or national origin.”
The definition proposes the argument that white officers arrest and/or kill African American citizens purely based off of the color of their skins and no actions.
I find it hard to ever prove that a cop is racial profiling anyone.
A law enforcement officer must have a reason for an arrest and must have a valid reason for firing their gun otherwise it would simply be murdering.
This issue must be looked at not as a whole but as a singular person-to-person psychological issue.
Racism is a noun, it describes either a person, place, or thing.
So when a person describes an entire police department as racist it is just silly.
Racism distinguishes whole races, one from another, grading the worth of each one to another.
Therefore, when a police department holds staff with more than one race, by definition it is nearly impossible to title it as “racist”.
When we move to the statistics and facts of police killings it is pretty clear that these two terms are no where present and easily misconstrued.
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I agree with Professor Hodges’ assessment of your thesis and would also recommend that you build upon it in order to solidify the claim you’re trying to make in your paper. You seem to be arguing that frequent coverage of violent exchanges between law enforcement and African Americans by the media has caused police officers nationwide to earn undeserved reputations for having racial biases. However, after reading what you’ve written thus far I can’t know for certain, and I would say that it’s essential to have your readers understand exactly what you’re trying to prove before you begin to prove
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I think your stand on this matter is great because media can influence the people that are watching it.
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“The media coverage of crimes involving African Americans has increased immensely over the past 2-3 years”
While I agree that the media is corrupt and dishonest, I do not know for a fact if the coverage of crimes involving African Americans has increased just in the past few years. The media may have been doing this for many years or even decades.
Overall, I think your argument is good. It has many valid facts and interesting points.
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make sure you have valid information that is true, and not go based off your own beliefs. Maybe try looking into what percentage of other races besides African that get murdered by cops, and compare them to the African races for a better idea of how cops truly discriminate people. Do you believe media is making this topic a bigger deal or that it was an issue that was always around and not till recently people are making a big deal about this. Try finding a little more information of how this topic was thought of back a few years ago compared to how it is today.
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I like how you had started of with a catching opening , but you need to work on the facts that you are stating by making sure that you have evidence to back it up.
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Like how well this presented its on the right track. However, add more support to make the argument strong. Go more in further depth.
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As bad as discrimination and racism currently is, I do not believe that we have come to a civil war among races. It is not too far-fetched to think that it is the direction this country is going, but nevertheless, it has not yet escalated to that.
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You have a good argument for stating how the media influences people, but for the last paragraph bring up the counter argument about how people are still racist today because you mention if we don’t talk about it racism will slowly go away. However the problem cannot be solved by avoiding speaking about it, if you bring up the problem and then give a solution then the problem can be fixed.
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I think to make your argument stronger you should try to introduce specific arguments/statistics from the other side and dispute them too. Also, I think that you should talk more about shootings for white people instead of just arrests. An important argument for racism in the police force is that African Americans get shot more by police than white people, not just arrested more. I do agree with your second point that the media may alter someone’s view on a topic and could be biased towards one way and the financial crisis was a good way to explain it. I think you should elaborate more on that in your actual research paper because that’s a strong point.
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So… What’s your point? I’m trying really hard to find a thesis here, but I can’t. I can see that you’re trying to take information and shape it to fit your argument, which would be more effective if I knew what your argument was. Are you trying to redefine racial profiling? It sounds like you’re simply denying its existence.
Your statistics are strong, they almost convinced me that you were going somewhere with this. However, you are failing to purposefully summarize as we were all taught to do, instead mentioning what “the article” said. Never do that, you know that. Also, do not describe a fact as “interesting.” I do it too, it’s hard to avoid, but tell readers why it’s interesting instead of simply stating that it is. That doesn’t convince anyone of anything.
In the third paragraph, I flat-out disagree with you. Morgan Freeman may have said it, but it doesn’t make it true. Also, never say “I believe” before making a claim, it weakens your argument by giving readers the opportunity to think of it as anything other than fact, which I certainly do. First of all, you’ve introduced a completely new idea in your last paragraph (which is not a good idea- it’s about wrapping up, not making new claims) that completely deviates from your almost-thesis. You’ve moved from racial profiling to racism as a whole, getting way too broad to be able to argue anything. Sweeping statements such as “African Americans have the same rights as whites, they are recognized as everyday citizens with the same opportunities.” cannot go un-supported, especially when they’re not true (which that is not).
Here are two of my rebuttals to consider. When has ignoring a problem ever made it go away? If I ignore my student loans, will they disappear? Great! Secondly, it is not a matter of whether or not people have the same rights on paper. Everyone can get married now, but does that mean homophobia is over? It’s about how people are treated in their daily lives, sometimes by people of authority, not just about what a court rules.
Of course I have not completely covered everything that could possibly be fixed in this essay, but do with this advice what you will.
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There were a lot of outrageous claims from this article. As I read I thought continuing reading this is a waste of my time. There are no hard facts in this essay, you lack any form of a rebuttal, and you cannot use a famous person as a credible source. Also, this article has quite a few grammatical mistakes and run on sentences.
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You’ve made a lot of good arguments to your paper in regard of how media is able to direct the perception of the masses but what I wasn’t able to get from your paper is what your actual thesis was.
“According to pbs.org, since 1999 it has been recorded that close to 70 percent of black families or individuals live in the cities or inner-ring suburbs of America. Next, when we begin to look at crime rate in America we find out that most of the United States crime takes place in the Cities of the United States. According to the “New Observer” the worst murder rates take place in Detroit, New Orleans, Newark, St. Louis, and Baltimore; these all being majority black communities. Therefore, is it fair to say that cops are racially profiling these areas because of race, or are these people just looking at the facts and doing their job?’
But as you write this there are recorded interviews of officers speaking on how their superiors send them into the lower income, predominately minority neighborhoods in order to make arrest and not to venture into others that are of a higher income bracket or white neighborhoods. One because they know that African Americans and other minorities are less likely to be able to afford a good lawyer and its easier to get away with an arrest that was made wrongly. And not the other neighborhood due to positions held in high regard that if an arrest was made wrongly there would be more trouble that comes back to the department. So is that not racial profiling?
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I think that you should look into FBI statistics because you would find out that some of your information is not true. There are a few grammatical as well as punctuation errors in your argument but its a good first draft. I also think that you should find a new person to quote as a credible source because a celebrity doesn’t look as good as lets say a doctor.
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The most apparent issue is that there are a lot of grammar mistakes throughout your essay. These can be fixed with a little bit of time. However, the biggest issue I have with the essay is the apparent logic flaw in your thesis. You make the claim that when people call the police racist, they are referring to every officer. That may be true for some people, but I would say that is not the case for most. When people say the police are racist, it is because there are a large amount who kill innocent individuals based on race. The police are people who should be defending the common citizen, and as such issues like this should be minor rather than major. Law enforcement is called racist, because of how often race comes up as an issue, and not because every officer is racist.
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“Race tensions are almost as high as those from the 1960’s. The war between cops and black Americans has grown into a world epidemic. When we look at the definition of racial profiling it is said to be, “the discriminatory practice by law enforcement officials of targeting individuals for suspicion of crime based on the individual’s race, ethnicity, religion or national origin.”
Says who? I do not understand where you are getting this information. You make bold claims, but you do not cite your source.
For example, Philly 321, a police officer of the Glassboro police department, said, “….” Adding a source will strengthen your argument tremendously. Stay away from claims such as “Though it has been statistically shown”
Also, never end your essay with a rhetorical question. I find in my writing that it leaves a reader asking questions. Be assertive and make claims that support your topic. Check out Magical Dependency for ideas on how to make claims.
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“Therefore, is it fair to say that cops are racially profiling these areas because of race, or are these people just looking at the facts and doing their job?”
Answer this rhetorical question immediately. Don’t leave your audience hanging and trying to answer the question themselves.
Question? Is this essay suppose to focus on “racial profiling and discrimination” or the effect the media has on our perception? Or about racism or being racist? I’m a bit lost on what your topic is. I like your examples, but they don’t connect well since your main thesis wasn’t clearly stated.
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There are some very notable claims within your essay, but there are so many claims that are either left unelaborated or put in a place where it had no place to be stated. Some of the claims are even opening up the essay to the point where there isn’t a strong central theme as the themes are spreading the purpose of the essay thinner and thinner. Regarding the purpose of the essay, it would help to find one specific thesis that is and focus primarily on that without adding more problems that you have to address later in the essay. Changing some of the wording might help a lot as there are some things that are left too extreme or unjustified with the way it is worded. It might be that you understand the gravity of what you meant, but it would be beneficial to elaborate broad claims immediately after or not at all.
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I think this is a good first draft. It is somewhat hard to understand what the point of your article is trying to tell but for the majority, i’m guessing it is about racism. I agree that the media does not show many stories about whites being killed from cops and only African Americans. You show good evidence and stats in your article but it seems as if some of it may be faulty. Something i do not agree with is when you use Morgan Freeman as a basic quote or source. Just because he has been a famous actor for quite some time now, does not mean he is credible by any way. Also, there are claims in this article that seem to come from what you think by yourself more then what facts actually state which can throw a reader off because they may not always agree with you.
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The way that the media is corrupting our minds is a real epidemic. If you turn to any news station you will only see the negative things going on in the world. If you’re someone who is constantly sitting inside watching the news all day you are going to think the world is such a horrible place until you actually go outside and see for yourself. News stations used to talk about all kinds of things going on. They just wanted to inform the people about what is going on in the world. Now all they care about is the money and how many viewers they get on each topic. I mean yeah it makes sense but to what extent is this thought to be taking it too far? I love the topic and your insight on it. I think you touched on many big issues. Maybe you could dig a little deeper on the facts. Try to dig a little deeper into the citations. That and a few grammatical and punctuation issues and you have one hell of a paper.
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While you rewrite, start by taking out all your “I”s. Like professor said, the word “we” would change the point of view of the argument by including your reader. Since this is the definition essay, there should be little personal points in here. This is for stating facts and what/how things are. Make all your points as if you were saying it as a fact.
In your second paragraph, you say, “The most interesting fact is that of the arrests themselves.” Add to this or don’t use it. Readers, like myself, want to hear the facts about the arrests. I felt like the sentence was a little random too, and I like your points about the media.
“Over 70 percent of crime coverage is based around African American arrests or killings. (Colleluori and Angster) The media deceives our perception and makes an issue out of nothing because it produces rating and controversy. Like the famous actor Morgan Freeman said in an interview on a news station, the reason there is still racism is because we keep talking about it”
-Great argument! You should focus a good part of you paper on this. Statistics makes an argument much stronger.
Overall, I think you can make you points stronger and more convincing.
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While I disagree with your argument, you have potential to become persuasive and even informative. That being said, you need to step your game up. There is a lot of personal bias coming through with this essay and weak material to back it up. Start looking for better places to find evidence of your thesis, if you have one. Also, come up with a better conclusion, that’s where you will really drive home your idea but instead to start talking about Morgan Freeman.
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I think this is a good first draft as it has a lot to offer but still needs some work on clarity. While i think the overall argument is good some of your claims made in the first paragraph are excessive and easy to refute making it hard to continue reading if someone disagrees. If you break down those claims more and add more statistical evidence to support one of them it will be a much stronger argument. try to find more facts to support throughout and narrow down your thesis to be more clear.
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yankeeskid6, I am afraid that I will have to agree with most of the other commentators’ argument. There are a lot of claims that you make that seem too good to be true or just plain false. The easiest thing to do if you want to retain these claims is look for evidence to back it up.
For example: “The war between cops and black Americans has grown into a world epidemic.” What interest do other countries have concerning a US domestic conflict between its law enforcement and Black citizens? What makes the war “a world epidemic”? Other countries are dealing with their own domestic problems, and yet we Americans are not even thinking about them. Either find a way to answer questions like these, or find new claims with more support.
A few little nitpicks:
Watch out for grammatical errors, and don’t forget to add commas/dashes where they are needed. Commas/ dashes are useful to emphasize a point and provide nicely paced sentences.
“This has stirred itself into a movement, or a as I view it a civil war.” In my opinion, this sentence should read as, “This has stirred itself into a movement- or as I view it- a civil war.”
“It isn’t the 1950’s anymore and it will never be like that again. So when we go back to thinking about racial profiling and discrimination, is it the police that are targeting black or is it the media itself for commerce?” Do not end your essay with a question. Even if it is rhetorical, a question gives the reader the possibility of thinking the wrong answer. It also shows a lack of confidence on your part. You want to structure your sentence like a straightforward fact so that your argument “hits home”.
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I agree with you. Media can a significant impact on it’s viewer and can affect their opinions.
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