P1. Money is a broad concept and can define in so many ways. It is used in our everyday lives and we can list all the scenarios how money is used. For example, if you wanted to travel around the world, you would need money in order to do so, or buy a car, along with many other situations. Like the saying goes, “Money does bring happiness”. In society, people portray money as distinguishing someone’s social status. People look at how much one is worth due to their specific income. Furthermore, people generally think money has value, but the money made from reality TV shows doesn’t have any inherent value, it is simply pieces of paper or numbers in a ledger. In the Milton Friedman’s piece The Island of Stone Money, I noticed the idea of how the Yaps monetary system and concluded the American monetary system is identical, but is a different concept of how it’s being used. The Yaps used stones to make a higher purchase like if a warriors dead body was being kept held it at another village and the village requested it they would buy the body using the stone. And then people would know that this he or she has claimed the stone. Americans use paper bills for purchases and seems cliché, but the Yaps certainly had creative manner to use money.
P2. The NPR broadcast was very interesting and what surprised me is how the claims were accurately correct in my opinion. I would have never thought of how money can change so drastically in time. In the past, we were exposed to using gold as a currency, then to paper bills and now an electronic transaction. In today’s world, society does claim to use paper bills and coins for small matters, but at the same time we already progressed, using digital cash. A prime example, paying bills, in which society pays bills using a computer and that consist only information it’s seems surprising to know now how easily any amount of a transaction can be paid off or transferred. There is no physical money being involved. The closest idea that I can think of using paper would be is sending checks through the mail, but that’s highly rare nowadays.
P3. The next most intriguing topic was Bitcoin. Bitcoin basically changed how traditional currency is being used. Bitcoin shared database between of computers all keeping track of accounts and their associated balances secured by mathematically encrypted password. And people are so consumed in buying bitcoin that they don’t realize it does not have a true value. Yes, virtual banking sounds amazing because it is so easy and accessible, but there are some tweaks that could be issued. Bitcoin is just like the stock market, the value changes every day. And the money you spend might not have the equal value as the price drops or arises. Money comes and goes there is not a financial base structure to accommodate users; it is simply the game of chance. NPR broadcast mentions how money is now just information and Bitcoin is prime example.
P4. Fake money to the rescue! I just wonder if America should do this or not. The Brazilians used fake money, such as URV, to save the economy from falling. The idea of fake money baffled me because of how easy it seemed to raise the economy using fake money that didn’t have sentimental value. You would think the opposite because it did not make any sense as to how the whole country would use this. As soon the URV arose the Brazilian inflation ended.
P5. I completely changed my mindset over how simple as money can change drastically. Every time I look at dollar bill my perspective will change and I will realize this dollar has no internal value. And I did not know how money grew overtime from our hands to the computer. I will certainly have a different view of how money works and the general idea of why we have this monetary system.
Works Cited
Friedman, Milton. “The Island of Stone Money.” Diss. Hoover Institution, Stanford University , 1991.
Renaut, Anne . “The bubble bursts on e-currency Bitcoin.” Yahoo.com. 13 Apr. 2013. 30 Jan. 2015. <https://sg.news.yahoo.com/bubble-bursts-e-currency-bitcoin-064913387–finance.html>.
Date, By. “The Invention of Money.” This American Life. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Sept. 2016.
“How Fake Money Saved Brazil.” NPR. NPR, n.d. Web. 13 Sept. 2016.
Rowan Counterintuitive 
Money is a broad concept and can be defined in many ways. For example, if you wanted to travel around the world, you would need money, or to buy a car. Like the saying goes, “Money does bring happiness.” People portray money as distinguishing someone’s social status. Furthermore, people generally think money has value, but the money made from reality TV shows doesn’t have any inherent value, it is simply pieces of paper or numbers in a ledger. In the Milton Friedman’s piece The Island of Stone Money, I noticed the idea of how the Yaps monetary system and concluded the American monetary system is identical, but is a different concept of how it’s being used. The Yaps used stones to make a higher purchase like if a warriors dead body was being kept held it at another village and the village requested it they would buy the body using the stone. And then people would know that this he or she has claimed the stone. Americans use paper bills for purchases and seems cliché, but the Yaps certainly had creative manner to use money.
iPhones are basically worthless, however people are consumed of buying a brand new iPhone every year. There might be minor tweaks here and there, but we as consumers have forgotten that the purpose of a phone is for communication to our dear ones. All you need to have a phone is to text,call or surf the internet. Not to ask Siri what’s the weather for the weekend? Or use my phone to control TV
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Your example of the iPhone does add a physical object to the argument, Yeezy, but the example sheds light on a very trivial part of your argument. iPhones aren’t “worthless” in the same way you mean money is “worthless.” Money is paper, inherently worthless. iPhones are functioning machines (actually very powerful computers), not inherently worthless. Etc.
Coded Grade: K
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You’ll have to work very hard, YeezyGod, to bring your writing level up this semester. We will concentrate more on your argument style and the content of your essay in later feedback sessions and in professor conferences if you’re willing. But for now, I need to emphasize that you must write coherent sentences.
As you know, you’ll receive quick grades in four grading criteria: Argument, Rhetoric, Mechanics, Scholarship (ARMS). Grades can always be improved by revision. To understand your grades, you need to know your Grade Code, which I shared with you in class MON SEP 19. I’ve numbered your paragraphs for easy identification. Additional feedback is always available upon request.
Argument (Grade K)
Using just P1 as an example of Argument, YeezyGod, I want you to notice how many claims you make that don’t appear to advance any particular thesis. It’s essential that every paragraph develops a single main idea. P1 doesn’t appear to have one.
Money is a broad concept
It has many definitions
It’s used for travel and big purchases
It makes the world go around
It buys happiness
It distinguishes social status
Its value depends on how it is acquired
It has no inherent value
It can be reduced to numbers on a ledger
Yap and America have identical monetary systems
Identical but different in some unspecified way
The Yap use stones for big purchases
They do so without having to physically move the symbols of wealth
Americans use paper currency
The Yap use money more creatively
Rhetoric (Grade K)
In your case, YeezyGod, the Rhetoric and Argument grades are tightly connected. Until readers can clearly understand your arguments it will be impossible to judge the effectiveness of your language to persuade them of the truth of your claims. Let’s work on clarity of expression first, then persuasiveness of rhetoric.
Mechanics (Grade L)
The differences between your uncorrected paragraph and the corrected version below may seem small, but they are essential to your readers’ understanding.
UNCORRECTED: The NPR broadcast was very interesting and what surprised me is how the claims were accurately correct in my opinion. I would have never thought of how money can change so drastically in time. In the past, we were exposed to using gold as a currency, then to paper bills and now an electronic transaction. In today’s world, society does claim to use paper bills and coins for small matters, but at the same time we already progressed, using digital cash. A prime example, paying bills, in which society pays bills using a computer and that consist only information it’s seems surprising to know now how easily any amount of a transaction can be paid off or transferred. There is no physical money being involved. The closest idea that I can think of using paper would be is sending checks through the mail, but that’s highly rare nowadays.
CORRECTED: The NPR broadcast was very interesting, and what surprised me was that the claims were correct in my opinion. I never realized that money had changed so drastically over time. In the past, we used gold as a currency, then paper bills, and now electronic transactions. Today, although we claim to use paper bills and coins for small matters, we have already progressed to digital cash. We pay our bills by computer; those transactions consist of information only. At any time, all or part of a bill can be paid off or transferred without any money being involved. The only way we use paper now is to send checks through the mail, but that’s highly rare nowadays.
REVISED FOR EFFECTIVENESS: The NPR broadcast told the story of money correctly. I was surprised to learn that money had changed so drastically over time. In the past, we used gold as a currency, then paper bills, and now electronic transactions, each time using a more abstract version of barter. Today, although we claim to use paper bills and coins for small matters, we have mostly eliminated those last physical objects in favor or digital cash. We pay our bills by computer using information only, nothing physical. At any time, all or part of a bill can be paid off or transferred without any paper or metal currency at all. The only way we use paper now is to send checks through the mail, but that’s increasingly rare.
Scholarship (Grade K)
You provided a Works Cited and made some inline citations that indicated your desire to credit the original sources. You will need to punctuate correctly in future.
UNCORRECTED: In the Milton Friedman’s piece The Island of Stone Money, I noticed the idea
CORRECTED: In Milton Friedman’s piece, “The Island of Stone Money,” I noticed the idea
You mentioned the NPR broadcast in P2 and P3, but provided no citation at all for P4.
OVERALL
Take heart, YeezyGod. Your current grade is a reflection of how this work would be graded if it were submitted as part of your Portfolio. The semester is young and help is available. The Writing Center provides convenient and free support from peer writing counselors, and I will be available to you as well via personal conferences and continuous feedback in and out of class. Every post can be endlessly revised.
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