Visual Rewrite – anonymous

0:01 The advertisement opens with a group of three men in the woods, one is standing still looking up with a perplexed look on his face. The other two are seen walking out from a path carrying some wood presumably to start a fire. They are all dressed to fit the part of a camper. It looks to be late day as the sun is not directly above but instead coming from an angle. As the two men approach their friend they stop close to him, with a proud/accomplished expression on their face they drop the sticks in a pile where some had already been placed. At this point the two seem to be done with their task and look ready to start the fire.

0:02-0:03 The camera angle then changes to beneath the mans shoulders who was staring upwards. The view is of his head and of the multiple branches that are seen swaying in the breeze above. The camera stays there for a slight pause. Is he worried this maybe a bad spot for the fire? The brush overhead could easily catch on fire.

0:04-0:07 The camera then goes back to the man’s face who was seen staring up. He is looking at his friends and can be seen saying something to them as his head nods in one direction perhaps signaling them to move to a different location. Camera then pans out onto all of them and the two who got the wood seem to have a disgruntled look on their face.

0:08-0:10 The agitated looks of the two men quickly turn to a face of apprehension. Their vision shifts away from their friend to something behind him not seen on camera. Noticing his friends gaze the man turns around slowly and is met by an imposing figure. A huge creature with brown fur is standing within inches of the man.

0:11-0:16 The next shot is of Smokey the bear towering over the man looking down on him. There is a brief pause making the moment even more dramatic. Smokey then closes his eyes and leans in to hug the man who is in complete shock. The camera angles to just the mans face pressed against the bears furry body. His nervous expression then slowly turns into relief as he puts his arms around Smokey. An awkward smile slowly envelopes the man’s face as he takes in the magnitude of the situation he is in.

0:17-0:30 Smokey then turns and slowly walks back into the forrest, with the camera behind the men watching him walk away. It then returns to a full body shot of all of the men. Their body language seems to still be in awe as they are all very still. After a brief moment one man says something short probably to break the silence and put what just happened into perspective. Just as Smokey is seen leaving the view of the camera the one man in the middle awkwardly waves bye.

This short video clip is very simply laid out and easy for anyone to understand. Even without the sound it is easy to put the pieces together to see what the objective of the video is. The camera angles allow for your mind to interpret the different moments with varying thought provoking emotions. For me I was able to picture someone with a deeper concern for their environment and an understanding of consequences. Protecting our environment in today’s modern manufacturing based world is a crucial endeavor our species faces and cannot be taken lightly. This commercial although not portraying it quite that way is a good start. The spokesman of natural conservation, Smokey, was also a good icon to use as a support. This most definitely reaches out to animals lovers and if it wasn’t clear that our wildlife and conservation of habitats are intertwined this consolidated it.

4 thoughts on “Visual Rewrite – anonymous”

  2. Hey, Anonymous, I’ve searched all over WordPress for the feedback I left for you last week, without success. Let’s try again.

    Your first second:

    The advertisement opens with a group of three men in the woods, one is standing still looking up with a perplexed look on his face.

    You don’t mention that Yellow Jacket (it helps to give them names) is holding “firewood” in his hands. What could be the meaning of this detail? It’s pretty important visual information.

    The other two are seen walking out from a path carrying some wood presumably to start a fire. They are all dressed to fit the part of a camper.

    I guess you could say that, although Green Jacket is probably camping for the first time.

    It looks to be late day as the sun is not directly above but instead coming from an angle.

    It could just as easily be early in the day, just not noon.

    As the two men approach their friend they stop close to him, with a proud/accomplished expression on their face they drop the sticks in a pile where some had already been placed.

    You think so? I think the dismissive way Green Jacket drops the wood says something like: If that doesn’t satisfy you, I’m tired of trying!
    Your first second:

    The camera angle then changes to beneath the mans shoulders who was staring upwards. The view is of his head and of the multiple branches that are seen swaying in the breeze above. The camera stays there for a slight pause. Is he worried this maybe a bad spot for the fire? The brush overhead could easily catch on fire.

    This is wishful thinking, Anonymous. I grant you there are trees swaying in the breeze overhead, but I doubt even Smokey Bear would draw the conclusion from that view that the viewer was worried about the flammability of the distant branches. On your way through the ad, be certain you’re only concluding—or speculating—what can be gleaned from the images alone. Then, at the end of the timestamp notes, you can do a review of what was NOT OBVIOUS from the video without sound. Not every PSA can do its job without words. This, I think, is a case where Yellow Jacket’s explanation was required for viewers to make sense of his objection. Agreed?

    GRADE SO FAR: G

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